CIRCLING THE DRAIN

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 93 Comments

The Church of England makes it official:

The Church of England has finally agreed that women may become bishops next year, breaking with nearly 2,000 years of tradition

Catholics?  Orthodox?  Go nuts because I simply cannot groove one for you any better than Andy Brown just did.

and ending 20 years of bitter compromises since women were allowed to become priests in 1994. 

Applause in the public gallery greeted the overwhelming vote in favour of the measure. Only 45 lay members of the synod voted against it and 152 in favour. The majorities among bishops and clergy were even greater.

As I said before, does anybody still genuinely care at this point?  Does anybody seriously believe that this vote will cause Britons to flood back into Anglican parishes (see Episcopal Organization numbers, post 2003)?

Me neither.  Short term, all that this vote will accomplish will be to allow British leftist hacks like Andy to go back to ignoring everything the C of E says and does for a while.

At least until it’s time for another Archbishop of Canterbury to be selected.

PASSAGES

Sunday, July 13th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 15 Comments

The last surviving member of rock ‘n’ roll’s greatest band has died:

And that’s it; they’re all gone. Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee and now Tommy. Even “the fifth Ramone”, Arturo Vega, is no longer with us. It seems so unfair: not only did the Ramones never achieve the commercial rewards to match their staggering influence upon the trajectory of rock ‘n’ roll, none of their principals was even granted a long life – at 62, Tommy was the Ramone who reached the greatest age.

He played drums on just three Ramones studio albums. The ones everyone, but everyone, knows are the three best: Ramones, Leave Home and Rocket to Russia. He’s on the first live album, too, It’s Alive, and between those four records you get the complete summation of why the Ramones mattered, and why they continue to matter. Over the 42 tracks on the three studio albums, lasting barely an hour and half, rock ‘n ‘roll is reduced to its undiluted essence: a count-in, a riff, a verse, a chorus. Very occasionally there’s a middle eight. But anything unnecessary – anything that distracts from the rush of excitement – is excised. The aim of a Ramones song is not to make you admire the musicianship or the arrangement. It’s to take you from a standing start to fever pitch in 120 seconds or less. And at the back of it all, playing the unfussiest drum patterns you’ll ever hear – he made AC/DC’s Phil Rudd sound like Keith Moon – was Tommy Ramone.

They got better. Of course they got better. They got so much better that for me (and for others, not lots of others, but enough of us) the Ramones were the best group rock ‘n’ roll ever produced. Not the most inventive, or the most versatile, or the most skillful, or the most emotionally resonant, or the most lyrical – but the best, because every time I put on one of the Ramones’ best records, I was reminded of how I felt the first time I heard it. And the first time I heard it, I felt: this is the sound I’ve been hearing in my head and here it is on 12 inches of black vinyl; this is what I have been waiting for since the first single I ever bought. The Ramones were the sound of juvenile excitement, expressed with such breathtaking singlemindedness that nothing could kill the excitement.

Tru dat.  RIP, Tommy.

DON’T TOUCH THAT, YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE IT’S BEEN

Saturday, July 12th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Sharon Stone’s on the market.

YOU WANT TO WHAT WITH THE WHAT NOW?

Saturday, July 12th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 8 Comments

A long time ago, when I was working the circulation desk at the Webster Groves Public Library, a very good friend of mine came up to the desk to check out a book.  I swiped the bar code on her card only to discover that she had a fine.

No biggie, it happens now and then.  I clicked to discover how much the fine was and discovered that it was something in the neighborhood of two hundred and fifty dollars.

For one book.

Although my friend was horrified, I let her check out her book because I immediately realized that we had screwed up and, as it turns out, we had.  We’d made a cataloging error which was quickly fixed.

That’s why, while I could use the following story to goof on big government, I’m not going to.  I know how these things can happen.  Besides, it’s pretty funny when you think about it:

No, the United States isn’t trying to build a military force of centenarians.

It just seems that way after the Selective Service System mistakenly sent notices to more than 14,000 Pennsylvania men born between 1893 and 1897, ordering them to register for the nation’s military draft and warning that failure to do so is “punishable by a fine and imprisonment.”

The glitch, it turns out, originated with the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation during a transfer of nearly 400,000 records to the Selective Service. A clerk working with the state’s database failed to select the century, producing records for males born between 1993 and 1997 – and for those born a century earlier, PennDOT spokeswoman Jan McKnight said Thursday.

The Selective Service didn’t initially catch it because the state used a two-digit code to indicate year of birth, spokesman Pat Schuback said. The federal agency identified 27,218 records of men born in the 1800s, began mailing notices to them on June 30, and began receiving calls from family members on July 3. By that time, it had sent 14,250 notices in error.

A spokesperson for President Grover Cleveland could not be reached for comment.

STEREOTYPES

Saturday, July 12th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 31 Comments

When you hear the word “Baptist,” what ideas pop into your head?  Southern accents, Jerry Falwell, political conservatism, etc?  I suspect that that’s true for most people.  But the truth of the matter is that if you factor out the SBC, Baptists are some of the most ferociously liberal Christians in America, at times exceeding even the Episcopalians.

Case in point:

A transgender woman who attended George W. Truett Theological Seminary and pastored a church in Central Texas as a man has returned to the pulpit.

Allyson Robinson began June 23 as transitions pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Washington. The calling is temporary — helping with preaching, mentoring and pastoral care duties along with the deacons until the church names a longer-term intentional interim pastor — probably this fall.

Calvary Baptist reaffirmed Robinson’s ordination June 15, prior to Pastor Amy Butler’s departure to become senior minister of the historic and progressive Riverside Church in New York City.

Worse than the Episcopalians, Chris?  Yeah, actually, since I have to believe that even Katharine Jefferts Schori couldn’t say the following without cracking up.

“Allyson Dylan Robinson is a minister of the gospel, trained for the task, and ordained to the gospel ministry by another community in which she has served as pastor,” Butler said in an ordination litany later posted on her blog.

“Over the course of her journey, God has invited her to step into the faithful witness of a new identity, a true identity, and a new name,” she continued.

“God has invited her to step into the faithful witness of a new identity, a true identity and a new name.”  Remember that phrase because you’re going to hear it and versions like it a WHOLE LOT over the next few years.

AND NOW…IDIOTS

Wednesday, July 9th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 52 Comments

The MCJ’s continuing tour of leftist hysteria about the Supreme Court’s recent Hobby Lobby decision brings us to one George Elerick who calls himself a “cultural theorist.”  I don’t know what that means but I suspect that it doesn’t pay very much considering how George opens this thing:

I think for many, when Postmodern emerged as another way to interpret how reality works, the hope was that it would alleviate the human project of ever having to deal with the modernity and its sexual hangups. By now, most of you might be aware of the Supreme Court Case where Hobby Lobby as an employer gets to dictate whether or not their employees are eligible to receive medical insurance to purchase certain types of contraception. The ones they don’t want their employees to have access to are the one’s that can cause abortion. This case has nothing to do with religious freedom and everything to do with placebos. The placebo of progress: thinking that we have somehow re-configured a few things because of postmodern fragmentation and yet being lost in the gaze of patriarchy and modernism still yet.

Damned if I know.

The whole debacle demonstrates that there is some nostalgic legislative desire to appeal to some form of historical epoch that precedes us or a time in the future when perfection will descend upon us, the major problem for both of these paradigms is that they rely solely upon the fantasy of wish-fulfillment. More clearly put, people want heaven and they have somehow defined heaven with certain parameters, including what others should do with their genitals, as if in utopia what we do with our genitals somehow will make the world better or not.

Right about here, George decides to go completely bat crap.

So, Hobby Lobby is the very embodiment of a particular spirit of our times, that of modernist fantasy and religious bigotry. Western Conservative Christianity (WCC) no longer has zealots, now WCC relies upon biblical interpretation to do its thinking. It has replaced a God who thinks for them, not just with pseudo-biblical hermeneutics, but has actually replaced their deity with a corporate one: Fox News.

What, no Karl Rove?  You couldn’t work the Koch brothers in?  Step your game up.

Fox News over the past few years has not been reserved on its political right-wing stance and has also been the site of some pretty larcenous character attacks. It seems without even knowing it, WCC and FOX have become bedfellows. There are other voices who have joined in on the fight for the masculine to maintain its place in America.

FYI, the law upon which this decision was based, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, was passed almost unanimously by both houses of Congress, both Republicans and Democrats voting in favor, and signed into law by

DEMOCRATIC

president Bill Clinton.

The misogyny

Been waiting for that one.

so rampantly apparent in the words and criticism of radio/television personality Rush Limbaugh (as can be read here) tells us something we all already know but don’t want to admit.

That this is all a Sinister Plot.TM

Patriarchy is still alive and well. That men still want their hands on women even if its figuratively.

Okay, which one you guys let the cat out of the bag?

How is this acceptable and yet sexual abuse is not, how is this any different?

Because the second actually exists while the first is a figment of your imagination?

Okay, for some I have gone too far here.

Ya think?

But we have drawn all kinds of lines of delineation of who can marry who, who can have sex with who/what, what is right and wrong…as if all of these things have pre-existed us in desire to embrace some false sense of unity and wholeness that never existed.

In George’s hallucinatory brain anyway.  Elerick pseudo-intellectually yammers on some more before ending his screed as follows.

Religion (in any form) should exist to assist in the progress of giving us new language, new ways of being and new ways of treating one another. If a religion fails at this, it should be seen as a disease, and like any disease should be eradicated immediately.

Whatever, freakshow.  Moving on, welcome to Gene Robinson’s Projection-Fest, 2014.

This past week, the owners of Hobby Lobby argued that such laws as the Affordable Care Act, with its contraception mandate, are walking all over their “religious liberty”—and astonishingly, the Supreme Court of the United States agreed, and allowed the religious freedom of this corporation and its owners to trump the healthcare needs and rights of thousands of its employees. And still, these people feel oppressed.

Understandable since Obama wanted to force them to violate their religious beliefs.

Fear is a terrible thing. It does awful things to the people who feel it. Yet, it’s an effective way to bind people together and to make them feel that if they don’t band together, they will be overtaken by hostile forces. And fear is a difficult thing to counter, especially when their leaders are reinforcing that fear at every turn. The cynical side of me suspects that these leaders know exactly what they are doing, but I admit that it is indeed possible that these leaders believe exactly what they are teaching.

That’s one of Robbie’s regular go-to bumper stickers.  The only reason that all us reactionaries won’t accept the Obvious TruthTM is that we’re all a-scared and stuff.  But let me ask you something, Robbie?  Do you think that the Episcopal Organization will ever approve the election of another Mark Lawrence?

Why is conservative opinion consistently labeled “bigotry?”  Why has the Episcopal Organization basically purged itself of its traditionalists, while prattling on about how TEO wants traditionalists to stay because TEO needs to hear conservative voices (so they can completely ignore them)?

Why has it become impossible for anyone with anything approaching a conservative point view to even think about making it through an Episcopal seminary, never mind getting ordained?  Why do people like you insist on declaring that the Bible doesn’t say what it clearly does?  Why is it suddenly okay with you for the government to dictate what religious beliefs should be?

Who’s really scared of who, Robbie?

What can progressive people, and progressive religious people in particular, do to demonstrate that American culture is not trying to take away their freedom to pray, worship and believe as they wish? How can we speak to their fears in a way that gets them to understand that there is nothing to be fearful of?

You can’t, Robbie.  Because we know that you don’t mean any of that.

WHITE FLAG

Wednesday, July 9th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 32 Comments

Why I’ve given up competing against Iowahawk.

ACQUIRED TASTES

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 69 Comments

Great Britain lobbies the US government hard for a Vitally Important National Issue:

The British government is pulling out all the stops for Scotland with a referendum on independence two months away, going so far as to lobby the United States government to allow the importation of that famous Scottish delicacy made from sheep’s innards, haggis.

The problem, it seems, is sheep lungs, which the United States banned for consumption in 1971. But lungs are vital to traditional haggis, which usually also contains minced sheep heart and liver, mixed with onion, oatmeal, suet and spices. It’s all stuffed into a sheep’s stomach, which is then simmered for several hours. Delicious, no?

Well, actually, it is rather nutty and flavorful — helped, of course, less by the common side dishes of mashed rutabaga and potato than by the other traditional accompaniment, Scotch whisky.

There is apparently a shocking lack of knowledge about haggis. According to a not-very-scientific online survey in 2003, carried out by the haggis manufacturer Hall’s of Broxburn, a third of American visitors to Scotland believed that haggis was an animal. Nearly a quarter thought they could catch one.

Go ahead and laugh (or gag as the case may be).  I happen to like the stuff.  At least the fake versions I’ve had anyway.  The American version tasted like meat loaf and I’ve got a couple more cans sitting in my pantry that I bought from a local specialty market.  One can contains lamb heart and lamb liver but that’s as closed to legit as either gets.

And I’ve heard that really good Scottish bourbon is supposed to be top-shelf. :-)   So I say bring on real haggis.  Or at least produce it from American, farm-raised, free-range, organic sheep guts.

But it’s not just haggis.  For some psychological reason lodged deep in my brain somewhere (I’m pretty sure that it has something to do with the fact that I was a Little BrotherTM), I’ve made it a point to try to like foods that everybody else in the world not only hates but responds to with the dry heaves.  I haven’t made it all the way but here are three tastes that I’ve managed to either conquer or semi-conquer.

(1) Anchovies – I remember at some church function or other many years ago, we all ended up at a local pizza place.  The wife of a friend of mine and I disgusted just about everyone there when we insisted upon anchovies on our pizzas.

This may be somewhat Calvinistic on my part but I believe that God created anchovies because He foresaw that man would one day invent pizza.  Anchovies belong on pizzas and that’s that.  They’re also great in salads.  And if you dump a tin of them into stews or chilies and let them cook out, they really enhance the flavor of those or any other savory dish that you have to bake or cook on top of the stove for a long time.

(2) Braunschweiger – Nobody likes liver straight up.  But lots of us are passionate about liver when you chop it finely or make it into sausage.

(3) Marmite -  I haven’t quite arrived here yet.  I still haven’t wrapped my mind around the thought process of that Briton who once declared, “Hey, is that spent brewer’s yeast?  Let’s eat it.”  Never mind the reasons why Australians felt compelled to invent Vegimite, Marmite’s Down Under knock-off.

For those of you who have never tasted it, think VERY thick, spreadable soy sauce and you’re kind of there.  I love it on slices of cheese but not much else at this point.  This one’s an acquired-taste-in-progress.  But here’s a taste that I hope I never acquire.

Brains – I don’t know why George Romero didn’t film the original Night of the Living Dead here in St. Louis since a staple of South St. Louis pub cuisine used to be brain sandwiches.  You read me right.  Seems that the Germans who settled here way back when never threw anything away.

There are places around here that still serve them but you’ll have to dig in order to find them.  Assuming you want to since brains are about the worst thing that you can ever allow to slide down your throat.

At that specialty market I mentioned above, I once ran across a product called pork brains and milk gravy which I immediately bought.  I never ate any of it, I just bought it to show to my friends.  It came in a small can about the same size as the cans that Vienna sausages come in which I assumed was one serving.

The health label informed me that the can contained slightly over one thousand percent of the cholesterol that I could healthily wolf down in one day.  In other words, ten days cholesterol in one sitting; a heart attack in a very small can.

WHOOPS

Monday, July 7th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 35 Comments

Remember how the left regularly goes on about the evils of Big CorporationsTM and how corporate executives only care about enriching themselves while not caring one bit about the welfare of their workers?  Ross Douthat of the New York Times found a Big CorporationTM that, in theory at least, every American liberal and every American liberal church or group should praise to the skies:

One such company was hailed last year by the left-wing policy website Demos “for thumbing its nose at the conventional wisdom that success in the retail industry” requires paying “bargain-basement wages.” A retail chain with nearly 600 stores and 13,000 workers, this business sets its lowest full-time wage at $15 an hour, and raised wages steadily through the stagnant post-recession years. (Its do-gooder policies also include donating 10 percent of its profits to charity and giving all employees Sunday off.) And the chain is thriving commercially — offering, as Demos put it, a clear example of how “doing good for workers can also mean doing good for business.”

What is the name of that wonderful corporation that is so dedicated to economic justice?  Yep.

Of course I’m talking about Hobby Lobby, the Christian-owned craft store that’s currently playing the role of liberalism’s public enemy No. 1, for its successful suit against the Obama administration’s mandate requiring coverage for contraceptives, sterilization and potential abortifacients.

WIDE IS THE GATE

Sunday, July 6th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 43 Comments

Katharine Jefferts Schori admits what most of us figured out a long time ago.  Gene Robinson was a journey, not a destination:

“The Episcopal Church has a widening understanding of what it is to be a human, an expanding anthropology, if you will. In the 1700s, a full member of the Church was a white man of majority who owned land; then we considered whether those who did not own land could be members. Next we wondered whether slaves could be members; then we questioned the whole issue of slavery.

“After that, we began to ask whether women could be full members. Then, here in the Episcopal Church, we’ve looked at the standing of children, baptised but not confirmed. Then gay and lesbian people, then disabled people. . . There will be other groups coming. I don’t know who they will be yet. It’s a long process of liberation.”

AND NOW…IDIOTS

Friday, July 4th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 102 Comments

As we continue our journey through the hysterical leftist reaction to the Hobby Lobby decision, Mr. David Fischler directs the Editorial attention to this unhinged, psychotic shriek from Frank Schaeffer:

Pope Francis must have vomited when he heard the Hobby Lobby news. Nothing could undo the good he has recently done the Church’s image more than yet another case of anti-woman lashing out by a cabal of far right Roman Catholic activists– this time in the Supreme Court.

Alarmed by the Supreme Court pandering to the extreme religious right in the Hobby Lobby case, the new pope might ask “Who is responsible for this?” The answer is: Many people. However two people are the real instigators: the late evangelical far right activist, Charles Colson, and Roman Catholic far right ideologue and anti-gay activist, Princeton Professor Robert George. Their tool has been Justice Antonin Scalia and the other Roman Catholic members of the Court.

George is a close friend and co-conspirator with fellow ultra-conservative far right Roman Catholic ideologues including with Scalia who became the ringleader of the GOP’s Court-driven Hobby Lobby lunge into theocratic politics. George is the de facto father of the twinned war against gays and war against women. Scalia is his follower and close friend. And George has the support of the U.S. Roman Catholic bishops, the Mormon leadership and the most conservative of the evangelical leaders. Charles Colson was George’s close confident. Together they hatched the plan that in the end (and after Colson died) became the Hobby Lobby case.

Believe it or not, Frank gets even crazier after that.  If he’d somehow managed to work in the Knights Templar or the Freemasons, the damned thing would have been absolutely dead solid perfect.  It doesn’t get much better than this.

Credit where it’s due.  It’s been down for a very long time but the Roman Catholic World Domination Conspiracy has just come ROARING back to take the clear lead among world domination conspiracies.  Does your WDC include dead people?  Unless your WDC includes dead people, don’t be bringing your punk-ass game all up in here, bitches.

Katlix got game, yo.

Moving on. Hillary Clinton, the Democratic Party’s presumptive candidate for the next presidential election, just threw away a large segment of the American electorate since she thinks that serious Christians are the same as the Taliban or something.

When asked Monday about the Court’s decision, Clinton, who may run for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2016, said, “it is a disturbing trend that you see in a lot of societies that are very unstable, anti-democratic, and frankly prone to extremism, where women and women’s bodies are used as the defining and unifying issue to bring together people, men, to get them to behave in ways that are disadvantageous to women but which prop up them because of their religion, their sect, their tribe, whatever.”

Good thing you’ll have the media covering for you two years from now, kitten.  Because you’ll still have to answer for that one.

PRESENTED WITHOUT COMMENT

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014 | Uncategorized | 23 Comments

Because who still gives a crap?

The Church of England is to introduce a simplified baptism service which omits mention of the devil after clergy who had tried it last year welcomed the move.

The church’s General Synod, meeting in York next month, will be asked to approve the provisional use of a shorter, clearer liturgy which is meant to make it easier for families who have no experience of church.

The synod’s meeting will be dominated by the attempt to clear the last obstacles preventing women from becoming bishops. The opponents, who managed to muster a blocking majority among the laity three years ago, have been pressured, flattered, and tempted with office by the archbishop of Canterbury and it is now almost certain that the legislation will pass, which would make it possible for a woman to become a bishop this winter.

Among the compromises on offer, conservative evangelicals who reject the notion that women should ever have authority over men have been promised that one of their number will become a bishop soon.

Among the other business, the revision of the baptism service will attract most attention. The present modern language version asks parents whether they will “reject the devil and all rebellion against God”, “renounce the deceit and corruption of evil” and “repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour”. In the new version they are asked only to say that they “turn away from sin” and “reject evil”.

WHY I DON’T HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE

Thursday, July 3rd, 2014 | Uncategorized | 9 Comments

And why I never will:

Written on the wall at Facebook is its motto: “Move fast and break things.” But how much are they going to break? And how fast? A study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences revealed on the weekend that in January of 2012, Facebook manipulated the feeds of 689,003 English language users, making slight alterations to see if they could change the large scale mood of the populace. The answer was a resounding yes, a terrifying and appalling yes. The most obvious scandal here is that Facebook is willing, just to see how strong it really is, to experiment with its users’ happiness and sadness. But what is most troubling about the PNAS study is the simple fact that a new force for social control has emerged. It makes the powers of previous surveillance states looks negligible. Joseph Goebbels would have rubbed his hands in glee. What Facebook has revealed, with its little experiment, is that Facebook is too important to be left in the hands of Facebook.

Several critics have compared Facebook’s mood experiment with the Milgram experiment. In that famous series of tests, a group of psychologists proved the willingness of people to obey authority by creating scenarios in which subjects believed they were torturing their fellows under the directions of doctors. The Milgram subjects had never agreed to have their evil revealed, and because of the trauma they suffered a series of new protocols that were designed to ensure the ethics of future experiments. The parallels between Milgram and the Facebook experiment are obvious although the scale is much larger: Literally thousands and thousands of people were made to feel slightly worse without their knowledge in order to find out whether they could be made to feel worse.

SPECIAL ED

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014 | Uncategorized | 33 Comments

Ace speaks VERRRRRY SLOWWWWWLY to liberals:

Please stop saying that a corporation is a “fictitious person” as part of your case in chief against the Hobby Lobby decision.

For one thing, you sound stupid. Not because this is untrue, but rather because it is obviously true, and 90% of all literate people not only know “corporations are fictitious people” but in fact have known this since long before you apparently did.

You sound like 8 year olds who just learned a FunFact (TM) about koalas and can’t stop repeating it. Didja know that koala bears are not in fact bears but odd creatures called “marsupials”?!!? Didja? Didja?!!?

Yes, we all knew that. In second grade. But Welcome to the World, I guess.

It’s a big place. You’ll want to take notes about it until you get your bearings.

Secondly, and here I fear I will lose you completely because this is going to get slightly abstract and logical, the fact that “corporations are fictitious persons” actually destroys your arguments, rather than strengthens them, which, if you’d bother to have read the Hobby Lobby case, which you have not and will not, ever, you’d already know.

See, a corporation is a fictitious person. It is a made-up designation, created by state law, to permit business concerns to live longer than the lifespan of a natural person.

It is a fictitious person. It is not a real person. Fictitious — an imaginary construct of the law.

Think about what that means.

This means that in a closely-held corporation — where five or fewer people control the majority of shares (and in fact usually control all of it) — the “corporation” does not exist in any real way, except for its listing in the tax records of a state.

In a small closely-held corporation, “the corporation” only means “these five guys right here.”

The Supreme Court did not acknowledge that corporations qua corporations (look up “qua” on your own time, idiots) have “religious freedoms.” Rather, it recognized the obvious — that in the case of a closely-held corporation, the corporation being a fictitious entity and all, an imposition of a duty on “the corporation” is in reality just an imposition of a duty on the five or fewer people (often one or two) who own it.

Thus, when we say the Hobby Lobby corporation must provide abortifacient drugs to its employees, this is precisely the same as laying this responsibility on the five or fewer individual persons (who definitely have the right to religious freedom) to provide abortifacient drugs to their employees.

Given that the corporation is a fictitious entity of no tangible presence (something you seem so delighted to have recently learned), forcing the corporation to provide abortions is precisely the same as forcing the family who owns Hobby Lobby to provide them.

You see? You see what your problem is here?

I mean, one of your problems. You have many, beginning with the facts that (1) you are not terribly well educated and (2) you seem to believe you are extremely well educated.

Linda Stasi of the New York Daily News could use Ace’s help since she has caused yet another crisis of faith for me.  Where is God when I’m out of work while someone this blitheringly idiotic gets column space in a major American newspaper?

On Monday, the Supreme Court broke the space/time continuum by propelling us back to the 15th century when it came down on the side of horny holy men against the very women these horndogs lust after. The 5-4 decision will make it legal for closely held corporations — ones that don’t approve of certain types of birth control for religious reasons — to refuse to provide coverage for those forms of contraception in their insurance plans.

Believe it or not, Linda actually gets more hysterical, throwing in this little urban myth.

The thing is that these corporations’ insurance plans will continue to pay for Viagra and Cialis for men, which ironically enough should kill any sex drive for all no-longer-insured women who aren’t named Duggard.

Kitten?  Mine didn’t when I was coming off prostate cancer surgery and my doctor strongly urged me to take Viagra in order to speed healing down in that neck of the woods if you know what I mean and I’m sure that you do.

Men with erectile dysfunction who now have endless erections

Says somebody who doesn’t have the slightest idea what Viagra does.

will be chasing women who can no longer have carefree sex, and therefore will be losing their sex drive — for men, at least — in record numbers.

More “lesbians?”  I’m down.  The Episcopal Organization has to find bishops somewhere.

Worse, the unfortunate women who are insured by these corporations, who can’t afford birth control in the first place, now may end up with children they also can’t afford, forcing them onto the welfare rolls.

Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  Women are going to have less sex with men but more children.  If any of you guys want to jump in here, feel free because I don’t even know where to start with that one.  But you all know the real reason why this decision was decided the way it was, don’t you?  Yeppers.

The most important sexual decision for women possibly since Roe v. Wade, which was brought by the religious owners of a chain store called Hobby Lobby (Hobby’s Lobby would be more like it), was decided by male Supreme Court justices. The five justices who voted for it were all men appointed by Republican Presidents, while three of the justices opposing were women, with one man — all appointed by Democratic Presidents.

Let me get this straight.  If a man murders a woman, the judge, the jury, the lawyers and all the judges who hear the appeals, up to and including the Supreme Court, can only be men.  The dumb broad finishes strong.

The bottom line? Insurance companies will pay for impotent men to impregnate women who don’t want to have children but can’t afford birth control.

Uh….okay, I’ve got nothing.

Noncompliant females will be stripped of their burqas and stoned to death.

Lord?  You are REALLY making it tough.

DEAR BELGIUM

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014 | Uncategorized | 14 Comments

No hard feelings here.  We had a great run.

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