Think how much lighter the plane would be if everyone had one less change of clothing with them. Of course they can’t change what they’ll need for the trip, but they don’t need clothes on the plane, do they?

Fly Nude For Mother Earth!!!

I think they should make everyone donate a pint or two of blood before getting on the plane. A pint’s a pound the world around, so multiply that by a couple hundred people and think of the savings! Added benefit – everyone will fall asleep due to the post-donation lethargy that sets in. Added benefit #2 – that screwdriver or manhattan in first class will really pack a wallop!

They could require everyone to show up 8 hours before departure to drink some MoviPrep. That would get results.

“Although it is intended as an experiment lasting one month and 42 flights, the trial may be extended if it is well-received by passengers and if results are positive.”

I have heard of holding it, but this is reedickulus.

P.S. does this mean bulimics get discounted fares?

They just need to put washrooms by the loading ramp and install some of those ornamental tinkly-fountains in the waiting area.

Why stop at urination; a high colonic and emetic prior to boarding the aircraft could result in much greater weight savings – not to mention that the airline could cut back on in-flight food service, since many passengers would still be feeling ill effects and would be disinclined to eat anything.

If matters have truly gotten to this point, then the airlines do need to start placing limits on what may be carried as baggage, specifying the allowable weight allotments for clothing, toiletries, technology (cameras, iPod, laptop, etc.), souvenirs, etc, etc, etc.

What’s truly laughable is that the same weight savings could be obtained from simply selling one less ticket for any given flight. But, that’s both too obvious, and economically impossible, given that airlines would rather cause discomfort to 200+ passengers than allow a single deep-discount fare to go uncollected – profit margin be damned.

Last year, I vowed to avoid flying unless absolutely necessary, and especially to avoid major carriers like American, United, Delta, etc. Since they can’t be honest enough to make their fares transparent, but choose instead to gouge customers through stealth fees and charges, I choose to give my business to other conveyances/companies. I encourage others to do the same – let the airlines know that their advertised fares of “$159.00 round-trip” don’t fool us into spending $159 *plus* $50 in baggage charges, $25 in booking charges, $50 in seat selection fees, and $50 in departure/security/airport fees.

Having suffered some truly awful indignities and discomforts at the hands of American (even more galling is that the papers here in Dallas/Ft. Worth always use the term “Ft. Worth-based American Airlines”, as if thats something meritorious) I can only say that their dismay over decreasing numbers of fliers can be directly traced to how they treat their customers. When people get the impression that they are viewed as air-borne cattle, the response isn’t too hard to predict.