Note that there is not, and will not be, any thought given to stopping the lawsuits that are not only costing many millions, but keeping many from putting money in the plate because they aren’t really interested in making lawyers rich–whatever they think of the current unpleasantness.

But…but…obviously, these figures do not take into account the contributions to the collection plates of the hundreds…nay, thousands…even millions of new converts to the Inclooosive Church triggered by the Gay Bishop consecration. And now that Fr. Oprah has arrived…well…Happy Days Are Here Again!

Their only hope is that more conservative parishes will leave so they can sell their buildings.

This is also known as “eating the seed grain.”

The problem is that too many people prioritize their children over The Episcopal Church in wills these days.

The solution is obvious: in an effort to stimulate planned giving by reducing the number of “competing interests,” General Convention ought to pass a resolution encouraging more Episcopalians to have abortions. Faithful women who responded to the call could even be awarded a Mothers Cross by The Presiding Bishop.

Somebody in the House of Deputies needs to get to work on this immediately,

CJ is right. Either you’re in the House of Beelzebub or you ain’t. While I respect the Diocese of South Carolina–the leaders there are full of good intentions–the unavoidable truth is that people join parishes in that body under false pretenses. It pains me to say it, but it really is true: If people who are joining South Carolina parishes knew what the Episcopal Church stands for, they simply would not do it. There is very little possibility in my opinion that the same people who join an SC parish would willingly join any Episcopal parish virtually anywhere else in America. That being the case, why be Episcopalian? On a lighter note, here’s an interesting picture of Baal, the Episcopal god, from a Wikipedia entry on Baal and Beelzebub, etc. Remarkably Episcopal bishop/clown-like. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Baal_Ugarit_Louvre_AO17330.jpg

Interestingly, even TEC’s latest revenue projections could prove overly optimistic, especially if even more reasserters leave TEC realizing that the “inside strategy” has failed.

Who, whow, whow! hold on.TEC is in fine shape to retool. Look at their assets. They’re based in New York. they have a slew of talented gay theatrical types with no moral contrainst.

I’m thinking Broadwaaaayyyyy. The pageant. The sleezy spectacle. You know what I’m talking about. People will come in droves to see it. Phantom of the Opera? How about Phantom of the Cathedral? Not a ghost of a chance, you say? (sorry, I couldn’t resist that one) Believe me, in this dismal economy people will want some escape to keep their minds off the loss of their 401Ks and most of their basic constitutional freedoms. What better way to distract them than with a pseudo-spiritual vaudville show in DRAG?

Or how about this? My mind is spinning with the possibilities, baby. You know that old idea of the Trinity, often symbolized by three interconnected rings. Yeah, they keep the rings but separate them and turn them into, get ready… a three ring circus!Brilliant, right? I mean, they’ve already got the clowns and tattooed ladies.

And when they’ve had a good run on Broadway they can take the act ofn the road. Boston, Philly, Chicago, Atlanta, San Fran, LA, Denver, etc. Of course it won’t play in Peoria. But they don’t even ordain women there, so of course they have no appreciation for the finer arts.

Hey, they could go international with this, wherever Christianity is in decline. And that’s everywhere you’d want to go anyways. Right?

Some might say that this would be fiddling while Rome burns, but we’re talking about fiddling with a FULL ORCHESTRA!

I guess this means TEC can’t lend me me fifty quid till next Wednesday? Darn ;^)

I had a comment that vaporized…maybe it was divine intervention…or the other kind.

“Say goodbye to four-star beachfront hotels in Puerto Rico.”

Actually that’s the last thing that will go. Youth Programs and Missions will be cut first. (Who needs those whiney brats and those ungrateful Native Americans anyway?)

It will be hard to blame this all on the economy when the bulk of this $9 is not endowment income, but what is extorted from dioceses, parishes, and pew dwellers. Of course they can say that that is also a result of a poor economy. But many charities are weathering the economic storm fine, since giving actually increases in tough times for many non-profits. What a tough economy does is force donors to prioritize their giving, and give to what they truly care about and believe will make the most difference. That calculation does not help the Episcopal Church, no matter the leanings of its members. The Episcopal Church is also learning what fundraisers have always known and the data consistently shows: liberals are generally abysmal givers, extremely generous with other people’s money, but amazingly stingy in their own giving.

As it happens, I like Motel 6. I recently had some trips to Austin for my job and insisted on staying in one which was nice, clean, quiet, and handy to the office and the interstate.

Ok, they don’t leave nice-smelling shampoo in the rooms, but you do get a personal wake-up call from Tom Bodet.

I’m tellin’ ya: making big noises about how they were going to single-handedly eliminate global poverty within ten years because they were sooooo rich (not to mention smart, good-looking and modest with it) was just begging Fate to smack them in the face with a wet herring

Clown Celebrant

We in Pennsylvania had a choice when Bishop Duncan was deposed then elected bishop of the new Anglican diocese. My parish chose to stay in TEC; six of the nine vestry members, including me, chose to form a new Anglican parish.

I agree that most who chose to stay did so because they love our church and parish and do not see the bigger issues outside in the TEC.

I told people that if TEC were what it is now when I first joined, I never would have.

Fenelon beat me to it, but at this rate, TEc will be asking for 50 quid to mend the shed by 2012 at the latest.

Ya know, I’m surprised that no one’s thought of this, but if they created a banking branch they would probably qualify for a billion or two in Obamadough…er…stimulus money.

You can be sure the last line item to be cut will be the money for litigation. TEC is hoping to recover by selling all that vacant property they hope to win.

Bastards!

Ken,

I like Motel 6′s too. When I used to make these long car trips to the Southwest, they were all I stayed in. Really got to like the one in Grand Junction, Colorado. I froze some Michelob in the one in Hurricane, Utah one time. And there’s nothing quite like spending the night in Vegas in a Motel 6.

I hate to be a wet blanket on your proposal, Mr. Hathaway, but unless they can find someone who can write melody, the “Phantom of the Cathedral” will resemble a regular Episcopal church service for attendance.

I don’t care how many gay theatrical types they have. It’s still schlock culture, and there are only a limited number of the annointed who will keep congratulating themselves on their enlightenment.

And I thought TEO has already done a really good job of making sure its parishioners didn’t have any children who would compete for an inheritance.

What’s twenty quid to the bloody Midland Bank?

Not that I have anything in particular to say, having swum the Tiber already myself, but I just couldn’t let a McTeagle poetry riff go without working my favorite line in somewhere.

Actually, I Do have something to add. Goddessoftheclassroom said, “I agree that most who chose to stay did so because they love our church and parish and do not see the bigger issues outside in the TEC.”

I see exactly the same thing at my own former parish – which my wife still attends. I call it the Uncle Owen approach: Like the Empire, PB Schori and 815 are “all such a long way from here”. Further, that attitude is encouraged by the Rector and the activist types, even as they push their agenda at the Diocesan and GC levels.

Robbo, that’s EXACTLY what’s happening in my former parish.

FW Ken and Christopher, do they leave the light on for you?

No, you have to turn them on yourselves. But they’re always right by the door, you can’t miss ‘em.

It’s the air conditioning left on that matters, this being Texas and summer and all.

FW Ken, how well I remember, having lived in Dallas for 22+ years! (I moved in ’04)

[I'd add a smiley too only I've never figured out how to do it]

Laura,

If you want to add one at the end of your post around here, just skip a line and type a smiley in the usual way.

“Say hello to Motel 6’s in Rockford, Illinois.”

Hey! So what is wrong with Rockford, Illinois? (He says harumphingly) I was born in Rockford, Illinois. I’ll have you know it was once a major strategic target for the Russians.

carl

I once stayed at a Motel 6 in Framingham, MA which was particularly nice. Granted, I also once stayed at a Motel 6 in Carlisle, PA which was anything but. Then again, I’m sure some of the four-star hotels have their share of problems as well.

Let me add my pleasant memories of Motel 6.;>

having lived in Dallas for 22+ years!

Please accept my condolences

(I moved in ‘04)

And sincere felicitations

Perhaps you can deduce for what the “FW” stands.

FW Ken, I can indeed.

Not long after I moved, the weather forecaster here (Atlanta) said that the temperature would be “dangerously high” that day — at 95 degrees. I immediately burst out laughing.

Hope you’re surviving the current blast with adequate AC —