U2-charist… well, most folks beyond the clergy never said Eucharist in the first place… the Anglo Catholics liked Mass and everybody else said Communion. Lay people at the altar were LEMS, said just like.

I always liked “Santa Eucharistia” for would-be Spanish language services – that “eu” dipthong is pretty much unheard of in Spanish and you almost have to go to a chiropractor after trying to enunciate it. Which didn’t happen much because most Anglo clergy who led such services never even tried to develop a reasonable accent (hey, that’s one thing +J.Jon Bruno does pretty well, though, I have to admit).

If they want to liven things up, and appeal to those who are “Searchin’” they could try something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mUEGTpK6YU

Of course, the born-again evangelism could cause 90% of the Anglican clergy to melt.

The Rev Sue Wallace, who has pioneered the event by blending modern technology with ancient prayers, says that the response has been overwhelmingly positive.

Yup, well the ones that didn’t like it are now worshipping in the next village.

CS Lewis addressed this in Letters to Malcolm:

“Novelty, simply as such, can have only an entertainment value. And they [parishioners] don’t go to church to be entertained. They go to use the service, or, if you prefer, to enact it… to receive a sacrament, or repent, or supplicate, or adore… and it ‘works’ best when, through long familiarity, we don’t have to think about it. As long as you notice, and have to count, the steps, you are not yet dancing but only learning to dance… The perfect church service would be one we were almost unaware of; our attention would have been on God.

But every novelty prevents this… You know what I mean. Try as one may to exclude it, the question ‘What on earth is he up to now?’ will intrude. It lays one’s devotion waste. There really is some excuse for the man who said, ‘I wish they’d remember that the charge to Peter was ‘Feed my sheep’; not ‘Try experiments on my rats,’ or even ‘Teach my performing dogs new tricks.’ ‘ “

“There’s no depth to it and it’s embarrassing because it’ll make people think that we’re eccentric and silly.”

Well, at least the Rev David Houlding gets it dead on. This is just silly and will not do anything about the bleeding numbers in the C of E.

If the Church of England actually took itself and its worship seriously, instead of trying to e an entertainment outlet, it might find that people actually appreciate it and begin to come again.

But the saving message of the Gospel has been lost in the chatter about MDG’s and relevance and all that claptrap. No wonder people are leaving in droves. They are not being told the truth. Nothing irritates people more than that.

Young people may come for a while, but when they realize that they are being condescended to, they will leave. They are most impatient of condescension and falsehood. They are looking for authentic Truth. This Cabaret-style of worship will not cut it.

“Hell, the entire 1979 prayer book is one long attempt to suck up to the whiners in the pews. That prayer is too long. Who are you calling a “miserable offender,” pal? Oh come on, we can say that thanksgiving in half the words and in words that people actually use. And what the hell does “vouchsave” even mean anyway? A guy I regularly acolyted for once brought the entire liturgy home in 25 minutes.”

Reminds me of the old story about the “time and methods” efficiency expert who was invited to do a study on one of Beethoven’s symphonies and finished up reducing it to the 8 notes of the scale in the relevant key and the relevant range of octaves, or the pianist who boasted of his ability to play the Chopin “Minute Waltz” in half a minute.

Missing the whole point of the objective:QED.

It’s hard to believe these ideas aren’t jokes. Traditional Latin chant set to hip-hop. Lord have mercy.

I’ve said this before either here or elsewhere on the U2charist: Bono is old, man. Ask anyone who’s really young – like my son who’s 25. U2 is for old people.

JM, -sadly the linked You Tube site has audio out of sync with video, but other than that it was great stuff.

Finally, for those who have iPods and want some (free) traditional hymns in Mp3, try It is Well with My Soul. I have downloaded that hymn, plus Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah, Hark! Ten Thousand Harps and Voices, The Solid Rock, and We’re Marching to Zion Makes the subway ride to work more enjoyable.

The prayers continue: “We pray for John Chambers of Cisco Systems, Bill Gates of Microsoft, Dr Eric Schmidt of Google Inc, H Lee Scott Jr of Wal-Mart Stores…

Well, the traditional prayers do include petitions for our rulers and overlords …

peace,
Zach

Hey, liturgical music sources for the POC-burning liturgy! (See Moleching it below!)

The church should not just assume that “one size fits all” for young people and they want “cool”, modern music. There is one teen in our church who was just confirmed. He likes tradtional hymns like the ones LittleMyrmidion mentioned. We had one session of Confirmation where we talked about The Lord’s Prayer. He and a girl in the class much preferred the King James version of it, than say, something like Eugene Peterson uses in “The Message.” When I was in my late teens and early twenties I liked Gregorian chants as well as some of the great choral music that came out of the Anglican church. (I still do.)

People want to experience the presence of God in a worship service. There are variety of ways that can happen, but to assume jettisoning traditional worship in favor of contemprary prayers and attempts to be oh so relevant in the language will make that happen, and that this will bring in young people is naive, I think. Prayers for Bill Gates just isn’t going to do it. ;^)

just turn on NPR and sleep in….

Bono is old, man. Ask anyone who’s really young – like my son who’s 25. U2 is for old people[, man].

Ya know, when I read this, the voice was Tommy Chong. Try it, you’ll see what I mean…

One service that I went to recently that attracted some young people (1/2 the people there were in their early twenties or so) was a Taize serice, where Taize Music is played softly and the church is softly lit with candles. There is lots of silence in a Taize service and it’s a beautiful worship experince. No need for huge screens, powerpoint slide images and amped up sound.

Now what was the attraction of being linked to Canterbury, again? If this story was about ECUSA, we’d be using it as (another) example of how far gone it is from anything recognizably Anglican. And maybe Christian: “rub sea salt on their fingers”?

What’s more, Bill Gates isn’t CEO of Microsoft, but I guess that’s the kind of currency you expect from people that think Bono is the hot thing among the kids today.

With the Gary Numan-charist you can stay in your car.

Does anyone think Bono is pleased by stuff like this? I have to think his taste level is a little higher than this….

I think I’ll go with the “Bob Ueckerist” and stay juuuuust a bit outside……

Joel Osteen thinks we should pray for our own prosperity, so I guess it’s a step in the direction of selflessness to pray for corporate moguls who are already prosperous… but I don’t get it.

Other than that, this is one of the funniest things I’ve read all week. Rev Houlding does get it – it reads like straight parody.

And *this* is the church that the ACNA crowd feels it’s so important to be in communion with?

I think I’ll stick with the Continuum, where we still use words like “vouchsafe”–and know what they mean!

“Does anyone think Bono is pleased by stuff like this? I have to think his taste level is a little higher than this….”

Well, Bono does have a bit of a narcissistic streak, so he might. The Edge and Larry on the other hand probably wouldn’t care for it much. Adam, not being particularly religious likely doesn’t care so long as he’s getting his paycheque!

Ack, have I stepped into a ’60s time-warp? Yes, as a boomer (and former flower child), I remember the “relevant” clergy. We teens thought they were hopelessly out of touch. We cringed every time Reverend Relevant said “groovy, man.” And clergy in bell-bottoms? Ewwwwww. :p

THAT RELEVANT CHURCHY STUFF NEVER WORKS. The music is always at least 10 years behind the times, and the transparent adult pandering always makes the kids wince.

In the immortal words of Pete Seeger, “When will they ever learn?”

BTW…my 16-year-old son is in the choir at our parish. There are several other teens in the choir as well. (Girls — that’s why my son joined, LOL.)

Anyway, according to my son, every single teen in the choir has expressed a preference for traditional music, especially (get this!) Latin hymns and chants. That’s right: The kids want Latin. Interestingly, the graying boomers in the choir agree. So, if just about everyone wants traditional music, why on earth are we shoving contemporary dreck down people’s throats? Who do we think is the audience for that stuff?

Zach wrote: Well, the traditional prayers do include petitions for our rulers and overlords …

LOL, as someone who writes SEO copy as (part of) my job, I can appreciate that ruler-and-overlord stuff WRT Google.

“What are we going to do tomorrow night, Matt?”

“Same thing we do every night, Eric: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.”

I did the guitars and folk music in the 70s, and some of that stuff has stood up pretty well (google “Fisherfolk”). However, even then we recognized that what we were doing was 10 years behind pop culture, AND, we sang an eclectic blend of traditional and contemporary.

Actually, the technological mixed in isn’t that far off the “Seekers Service” popular a few years ago in evangelical mega-church circles. The one time I knew an Episcopal parish tried it, the thing fell flat.

Look stop trying to best us Catholics at bad liturgy. Sorry when it comes to that y’all are rank amateurs. It is a pitiful spectacle to watch your puny attempts to turn liturgy into the hip,young preety persons game of church. Have you forgotten Giant Puppets of Doom? The clown eucharist? The Rave Mass? All had their start in our opt copied but never mastered by others Loony Liturgies.

For one thing you will never match us cause we have a donkey’s spume of a hymnal to work from. Crap I’m kind of surprised no one has written “100 Saints on The Wall, petition one and pass him around…”

… So there really IS such a church as St Swithin’s… Catchy name…
Saint Swithin’s in-the-Swamp! Say that three times fast!

and BTW:
“JM, -sadly the linked You Tube site has audio out of sync with video, but other than that it was great stuff.”
… Sounds like the whole C of E will be that way soon… but with real African (TM) drums!

Sorry, Paula, but they’ve never had a clown eucharist at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, have they? A few years ago, they had a celebrated one at Trinity-Wall Street, one of the most important Episcopal churches in the country. And you can worship just about anything you care to at the Cathedral of St. Johnny the D. While the giant papier-mâché puppets of doom were a nice touch, don’t bring that “rank amateurs” smack around here. We’ve still officially got Matt Fox, you know.

Let’s try that again:

As an intercesor I object most to “We pray for John Chambers of Cisco Systems, Bill Gates of Microsoft, Dr Eric Schmidt of Google Inc, H Lee Scott Jr of Wal-Mart Stores and others who have already made commitments to justice.” Not because there’s anything wrong with praying for corporate leaders. Much of intercession os praying for the marginalized; husiness, commerce, trade and industry need praying for too.

I object to the flat declaration and endorsement that these men have made commitments to justice. I have no idea what commitments these men have made, but I feel safe in saying that not all that they have done can be regarded by people of all political persuasions as being conducive to social justice. Intercessions should be as far as possible prayers to which the entire congregation can give their assent, and personal editorializing is anathema. I don’t think liberals would be very happy if free-market conservatives started interceding for social justice as advanced by campaigns to improve the lot of the poor through abolishing minimum wage laws and the capital gains tax.

I wonder of any of these people are quick enough on the uptake to even notice if someone snuck some parody/ridicule into the services, like a clip of Flip Wilson as minister of the Church of What’s Happening Now.

“The Church of What’s Happening Now” — Man, when Tom Wolfe is *on,* he’s really ON!

FW Ken — I must confess that I do like some of the “contemporary” stuff, too. I like anything by Fr. John Powell (I think that’s his name?) — “The Cry of the Poor,” “Earthen Vessels,” “One Bread, One Body,” “Come to the Water,” “Prayer of Saint Ignatius of Loyola.” I also like Cary Landry’s “For You Are My God” and some stuff by John Michael Talbot (his “Veni Sancte Spiritus” is hauntingly beautiful). Heck, even Marty Haugen is a pretty good melodist; it’s just his heretical lyrics that give me the pip.

But that sing-songy Glory and Praise schlock…arrrggghhhh!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsV8NzIP5lI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=627zCglxaMA
where ‘noise’ is better explicated.

Cheers

I wouldn’t call Fr. Powell contemporary. He was contemporary about 15-20 years ago, although yes, some of his stuff is quite nice.

I like John Michael Talbot’s music.

I once heard John Michael Talbot with the Dallas Symphony and Symphony Chorus do Light Eternal. Twenty plus years later, I’m getting goose bumps thinking about it.

But… Christopher (and I’ve brought this up before): when your priests celebrate Mass dressed as Barney, then you can talk about liturgical dreck!

FenelonSpoke — that’s why I put “contemporary” in scare quotes. Catholic ’60s Retreads’ idea of “contemporary” is circa 1968. Or, as my kids put it:

Sing an old song unto the Lord!
A song from 1968!
Sing an old song unto the Lord –
Don’t say we’re out of date!

FW Ken, if you’re talking about the case I assume you’re talking about…he didn’t actually celebrate Mass dressed as Barney. The Barney stunt came after Mass, as part of a kiddie party, IIRC.

We can be incredibly goofy, but not that goofy.

Any priest who dresses as Barney-anytime-should be deposed. ;^)
Barney makes my skin crawl, what with his goofy voice and the pretenaturally cheerful kids on the show. Fortunately, my son never had an apprecaition for Barney.

David Houlding certainly does get it. He’s the Master-General of the Society of the Holy Cross (SSC), with something over 1000 priest-brethren at the last count (of whom I am one). I can’t imagine any SSC priest having anything other than total contempt for this Christofugal travesty.

“Irrelevant, shallow, pointless and embarrassing”: is that the corporate strapline for the Anglican Church? If not, it should be!

Once, to see if anyone would notice, a classmate of mine who edited the seminary newsletter noted in the calendar that April 1 was the feast day of Thelonious the Monk.

Thanks for the Bob Ueckerist, KC. It made my day.

And as to the works of justice by Bill Gates: I hope he has many, because I know for a fact he bears responsibility for “WORD” – not real African Word – and for that he should repent continuously.

Toral,

I object to the flat declaration and endorsement that these men have made commitments to justice. I have no idea what commitments these men have made, but I feel safe in saying that not all that they have done can be regarded by people of all political persuasions as being conducive to social justice.

Good catch. That bothered me too, I was just too busy being snarky to comment on that aspect.

But — dear God! — Bill Gates as an icon of “social justice”? Not to mention the head of Stuff-Mart? Why didn’t they throw in the CEO of Monsanto and make it a trifecta of evil??

Now, in the not-completely-insane liturgical world, when we pray “for Barak our President”, that doesn’t imply endorsement. Good man or bad man, he needs our prayers (for everyone’s sake!).

God have mercy.

diane in nc,

It syllabizes better as:

Sing an old song unto the Lord!
Sing a song from 1968!
Sing an old song unto the Lord –
Do not say we’re out of date!

No charge.

Well, it’s worth a try even it it is a bit kitsch…and more importantly it gives our clergy and bishops something to do and keeps them out of mischief…idle hands and all that.

I believe it was part of the Mass Liturgy, although I don’t think he actually did the consecration in purple.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHi_VZLtcQ8

[...] MCJ BLOGGER– “I know! How about secular theme-party church services?” …. [...]