Trick or treat!

Klaatu barada nikto

“So the tailor told me he was Native American, but it turns out he was actually a retired pre-school teacher obsessed with fingerpaints and macaroni.”

“I don’t know what you put into those wafers, Brian, but I want some more!”

“Trick or Treat!! I wanna eat some sheet!!”

And so, my minion, to show your complete and utter subservience to ME, your primatial bishop, you must wear…THIS!

You have abolutely nothing to worry about, guy. Let me tell you about MY indaba group.

Kate: “I’m a Mac”

Brian: “and I’m a PC”

It’s SHOWTIME!!

And it’s a tie! Our judges couldn’t decide which was the worst dressed!

“Trust me, Brian. If it plays in San Francisco it will play in Boise.”

Sauron and Spouse

I CAN HAS DIOCESE?

California bishops threaten PB and bishop of Idaho with deposition for Abandoning the Fashion Rules of this Church.

Brian: “Let me hold the Chalice.”

Kate: “No! I get to hold the Chalice.”

(Scuffle. scuffle…)

Kate: “Oops, my bad. That’s gonna leave a stain.”

“As you can see, Bishop Schori, this is the very latest in liturgical camo.”

“Well yes, Bishop Thom, but why those particular colors?”

“…”

Assembling for the Halloween costume parade, Katie and Thommy proudly showed off their mother’s handiwork.

Hey… Kate… do these vestments make my butt look fat?

Red and orange and green and blue,
shiney yellow, purple too.
It’s Rainbow Coalition Day–
wear your worst, pretend you’re gay!

Circus Maximus Anglicanum

“Do these vestments make me look fat?”

Brian, have you considered Depends?

They’re only one step away from this.

Riders board their floats as the Krewe of Gaia gets set to roll down Bourbon Street.

Brian: Umm, Kate? Your cross is bent.

Kate: Brian, you got a paperclip on top of that pole and you’re questioning MY artistic style?

Brian: It represents, like, protective plates and all that. The armor of God. You know, chainmail?

Kate: That’s chainPERSON, Brian.

Brian: It represents, like, protective plates and all that. The armor of God. You know, chainmail?

Kate: And which god would that be, Brian?

Brian: It represents, like, protective plates and all that. The armor of God. You know, chainmail?

Kate: Well put it, along with your god, back into the box where you found it.

As far as I’m concerned, #2, FW Ken, is the winner hands down.

The Episcopal Church unveils its plan to eliminate the need for lightbulbs, thus reducing our carbon footprint. “Luninescent clothing will provide each person with all the light they need,” said Kate Schori, supreme litigator of the church. “We got the idea from Matthew 5 or something like that, where it says we should let our own light shine.”

“TEC goes on a promotional tour for their new line of psychedelic Italian ices.”

“Brian, I think you need to turn your antialiasing on.”

Nice threads, Brian…The emerging-from-the-inferno motif is soooo edgy, but the boss might say it was a bit premature, no?

Minor mod:

I dunno, Brian…The emerging-from-the-inferno motif is soooo edgy, but the boss might say it was a bit premature, no?

This photo reminds me of the comment (can’t remember who made it) that “Barney Frank doesn’t want to burn the flag. He just wants to wrap up in it and sing show tunes.”

Sharkey (apologies to JRR Tolkien here) and the gang, including the new Bishop of Idaho, clearly remain committed to the concept of “many colors.”

Brian: “Gee, Kate, I wonder if these awful getups will get us into an MCJ Photo Caption Contest?”

Kate: “I dunno, Brian. I’ve been trying to win that coffee mug for years . . .”

================

Kate: “Hey, Brian! Is that an emission, or are you just glad to see me?”

================

Both (in harmony): “When the moooooooon is in the seventh howwwwwse . . .”

even Gene Robinson says that’s gay

These Colorful Bishop Easter treats come in chocolate too.

Once again the Mothers of The Bride fail to coordinate their dress for the big day.

Are you sure these can be seen by Avatars in space?

Ok let’s see them make Oven Mitt comments now.

“Hey, Katie managed to snag the Pope room down at Boca di Bepa and I figured that this fit the motif and was already pre-disastered. Dude, is this cool or what? I can be a total slob with the pasta and nobody will know the difference.”

correction to one of the above

Once again the mothers of the bride and groom fail to coordinate their dress for the big day.

Selling ad space to Operation Rescue then blurring the copy was a brilliant move!

Dammit, Brian, I TOLD you we couldn’t put this all in one wash load with the underwear!

I don’t know, every time I look at this I just hear Bevis and Butthead’s laugh. But, alas, I must say…

“New York is where I’d rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.”

or

“I am Barak Obama and I approve of this message.”

or

“You can’t possibly be serious. First, how can you say that Tony Stark was a cooler guy than Bruce Wayne? I mean, HELLOOOOO! And you have Robin, and whatshername, and the butler guy, and Cat Woman. Now, she was empowered. Why, I’d even say… Oh, look, a camera.”

“Children of the night…what music they make!”

“Finding Nemo II: Nemo’s Consecration”

“And God saw that the fashion crimes of TEC was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of her Bishops was only about loud, ugly vestments continually.”

“Now all we need are the wigs and fake noses, and we’ll be able to join Jim Cooper for communion.”

“And thou shalt become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword, among all nations whither the LORD shall lead thee … because thou hearkenedst not unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep his commandments and his statutes which he commanded thee.”

“I’m sorry Brian but when you celebrate a clown mass, you have to dress the part.”

Mind-Trippin’ Skittles: All the colors of the Psychedelic Rainbow!

Brian: “So, Kate, what’s the best part about being an Episcopal bishop?”

Kate: “The best part? Once we sue the Neanderthals out of their church buildings, and sell them to the nearest nightclub owner, we’ll still be able to wear these rags when we visit!”

Did they pixellate out the crosses so Episcopalians wouldn’t be offended?

“We’re Faaabulous”

” Don’t blame me, you are the one who insisted on there being a sewing class at the drug rehab we sponsor”

“This Woodstock liturgy will really increase those ASA numbers”

“For the talent portion of our fund raiser we will do “Keep It Gay’ from the Broadway hit show, “The Producers”

Hey, no more jokes about professional wrestlers…..

“We have something in common, Gene…We both want to be a bishop AND a queen!”

Episcopal vestments of the Mardi Gras Rite

Kate: Jesus, you look like a used Tampon.
Brian: Stick it up your small box.

the snarkster™

All Hail our Raelian Leaders – Supreme Empress Schorister and her accompayning “Lap Dog”

Kate, I hope Stacy and Clinton don’t see us!!!!!

Kate: Stop drop and roll!

Cloaking device activated in 3… 2…

Spilled the bong water.

Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!

(1) I love the 70s. (episode 17)

(2) What to wear to a clown eucharist. (from the Bishop’s Handbook)

(3) That’s Bishop Roy on the right, and Bishop G. Biv on the left.

(4) The devastating effect of Pantone deafness.

(http://www.pantone.com/pages/pantone/pantone.aspx?ca=2)

(5) “Sorry I’m late, the power was out when I was vesting.” “You don’t say…”

(6) “We’ll see how it comes out – there’s only so much I can do with photoshop.”

(7) “Dude, I’m like totally ripped – Phish has gotten back together.”

Maybe THIS will burn Chris’ eyelids shut!

Gather us in, the NewChurch Impassioned,
Gather us in, the tragically lame;
Mercif’ly grant us *some* sense of fashion,
Heal those struck blind by our Vestments of Shame…

“What was it about the brown acid? Do or don’t?”
“Dunno. I did.”
“Me too.”

Kate: I’m doing the frozen one at the bottom. Which circle of hell do you represent?

or

Kate: I thought ocean depth colors were appropriate for me. Are you celebrating mother earth’s volcanoes?

“Put the doobie down and back away! The ’70s are over!”

(8) It didn’t take long for the Bishop to realize that if was going to download vestments from the internet, he would need something more than a dot matrix printer.

(9) Why all sales are final at the Almy Outlet.

(10) “Sorry I’m late, it took me a while to find my styptic pen.”

You have to stand back and cross your eyes to see the 3D mark of the beast on this.

“No, Brian, lt doesn’t look like an avant garde and inclusive Shroud of Turin.”

Poster children for the MDG’s

Kate: “So, on the way over here, Brian just _had_ to do Wendy’s drive-thru and get a Baconator&reg . . .”

Well, I guess the “registered trademark” code doesn’t work . . .

“Don’t worry, Kate! I’ll save you from those tomatoes the peasants are hurling!!!”

The second place finishers in the Bad Litugical Wear Fashion Wear contest buck up graciously in defeat.

“Just before my consecration ceremony, I sat down to look at the diocesan account ledgers, and I accidentally spilt the ink bottle.”

The Presiding Bishop and the newly-consecrated Bishop of Idaho proudly present banners bearing a comprehensive diagram of TEC theology.

(11) “Umm, yes, in fact it is a rental. Why do you ask?”

(12) “I can’t believe you just referred to me as “yo homeslice chili dawg.”

(13) “So it is true about mentos and communion wine.”

(14) “Well, at least that explains why nobody would hug me during the peace.”

(15) “Relax, it will probably come out with a little club soda.”

Tired,

I like your #3. Bishops Roy and G. Biv. Perfect!

“WHITE shoes? What were you thinking???”

“Really? Laundry day for you too?”

“Ordinary Time!”

“Feast!”

“ORDINARY TIME!”

“FEAST!”

“GET YOUR @*#&%*# CROZIER OFF MY FOOT!”

Will the real Bozo the Clown please step forward and honk his or her horn ?

1. We’re here to present our credentials to the Vulcan ambassador.

2. I’m not a bishop but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.

3. We’re here to try out for the New Village People.

4. I’m Dickens, She’s Fenster.

5. Brian, you look like a gay Dalek.

Remarkable cleric, the TEC Bishop, innit, ay? Beautiful plumage!

“Somewhere over the rainbow” We love you Judy.

Katharine: Nice threads, Brian. So who’s your tailor?
Brian: Pierre of Pocatello. How ’bout yours, Katie?
Katharine: I shop around. And don’t call me Katie.

All Your Vestments Are Belong To Us.

this is from my daughter, Megan.

” You would tell me if I looked silly in this right?” from MST3K

Vestments by Verizon Wireless

Can you SEE me now?

Can you see me NOW?

I vote for Mr. Mark Windsor.

To equality… AND BEYOND!

“Plus, plus,
Viz., viz.,
Oh, what a… good grief…
it is….”

“Well, what are we *%#@! doing wrong? It seems to work for Akinola!”

“Well, what are we doing wrong? It seems to work for Akinola!”

“Well, what are we doing wrong? It seems to work for ++Akinola!”

[after throwing acid on the Blob]

Kate, the nurse: Doctor, nothing will stop it!

I totally vote for Myrmidon’s second one: “I CAN HAS DIOCESE?” Perfect!

The only way to compete for attention with VGR.

Brian: I can’t wait to have my first indaba…
KBeejeebers: Gesundheit!
Brian: Oh, bloody hell I’ve been run over by a commuter train…

Outtake from “Trial of a Time-Lord”

My deep plunging neckline is bigger then yours, Presbish!!!

“Dammiit Kate! Next time we do a clown mass, make sure there’s only seltzer in the seltzer bottle!”

Brian: “With my aggressive good looks and these killer threads, I’m a shoe-in to win the next installment of ‘America’s Next Top Bishop’!!!”

I see Jon W frequents the Cheezburger site. Heh.

Kate and Thom prepare for the dress-rehearsal of Nineteen Diggity-Six, The Musical.

We are the Knights Who Say “Neeeee!!!!”

Ok, so all-seeing, all-knowing Wikipedia shows the spelling is “Ni!”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knights_who_say_Ni

Brian: You think we went a little over the top with the vestments?

Kate: Look at it this way. We haven’t violated Scripture. One out of three ain’t bad.

Kate: “Plunk yer magic twanger, froggie!”

Brian: “Hiya kids! Hiya, hiya, hiya!!”

“Come, Flaminica–we don’t want to be late for the auguries.”

“You go ahead, dear–I have to feed the Sacred Geese first.”

Look, look to our rainbow, follow us ’cause we follow a dream.

Me and My shadow
strolling down the avenue

The hazing at the School For Shepherds gets out of hand.

It is not widely known that Elton John sent thank you vestments for that lovely birthday bash at the Cathedral.

ENS: Bob Weir, one of the last surviving members of the psychedelic rock group, The Grateful Dead has presented the Presiding Bishop of TEC, Katherine Jefforts Schori and her fellow bishops with psychedelic vestments to honor and celebrate the firm commitment TEC has shown through the decades to ideals behinds the psychedelic rock movement. At the unveiling Presiding Katherine Jefforts Schori gave thanks for the life and genius that was Gerry Garcia, “My joy at these new vestments which signify the deep and profound connection between the lives and teachings of both Jesus Christ and Gerry Garcia is only hindered by the knowledge that Rev. Gerry could not be with us here tonight. But we know Rev. Gerry is here with us in spirit and, in my favorite flavor of ice cream. And for that all Episcopalians no matter how they differ on issues can truly give thanks to Ben and Jerry.”

Let’s find the popes in the pizza. Oops! We’re anti-papists!

“Have no fear….EpiscoGirl and the Flaming Bishop are here!”

“You know, these looked better on the manequins at the costume shop.”

“Tasteful schmasteful, we’re out to make a statement.”

“The giant squid like it.”

“Do you think these are too much? Naw….we didn’t either!”

Which one will be the winner on this season’s “Project Runway”?

I got this from a mohel.

Now voting for the vestments for GC2009 – Which is more appropriate for Ubuntu?

“Come, Flaminica–… the auguries.”

“… the Sacred Geese first.”

mirabile visu … flectamus genua

English: Awesome!

Get audio of the Beevis and Butthead laugh, please.

Got mine on Ebay, where’d you get yours.

Kate: “First time visitors to our Church will receive a $10 gas card and a giant, bishop shaped lava lamp.”

I’m a marine biologist. You should have listened when I told you you’d get the bends if you came up too fast.

I am serious. And don’t call me Schori.

Most Flamboyant – 2008 Boise Gay Pride Parade

And tonight, right here on ourrr shewww (Ed Sullivan voice) we have the Dynamic Duo, Kate Crusader and her side-kick Robbin’.

Why is Kirk Cameron pointing that hose at me?

A new line of compact florescent vestments powered entirely by bovine emesions.

[...] So it’s still anybody’s ballgame. [...]

beer before liquor, never been sicker!

Toto,I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

We’re wearing the pantone color guide. Your argument is invalid.

“One toke over the line sweet Jesus…”

Woo! Hoo! I’m in second place? Feets don’t fail me now.

Kate I’m really sorry. You’ll have to say “beam me up Scotty again”

Stop poking me wiv yer stick, Katie m’dear!

You’re not necessarily in second, TLM, but you are competitive. So you and everybody else should keep ‘em coming.

Christopheer: As P. G. Wodehouse wrote, “I’m writing as funny as I can.”

B: I think I’m bleeding from my ears.
K: Just hand over the deeds and nobody else gets hurt.

The negotiations with the Altar Guild Union take an ugly turn.

No One Expects The Rainbow Inquisition.

Brian: “Wow, there’s a leader or two, followed by a whole pack of contenders!”

Kate: “Are to referring to the MCJ Caption Contest?”

Brian: “No, the Fastest-Orthodox-Diocese-Leaving-TEC Contest!!”

Brian: “Ohhh, I get it! It takes a drug reference or two to win the MCJ Caption Contest!”

Kate (slurring): “Whhhhaaadya saaaayyyyyy?”

Brian: “Uhhh, I forget. Pass the munchies, willya?”

Kate: “I thinnnnk you allllready diiiddd . . .”

Squid Girl and Lava Boy ready to combat the dreaded Communion Abandoners.

Kate: I couldn’t find the matching hat.
Brian: Just keep smiling and I’m sure no one will notice.

” My Dada can beat up your Dada”

It’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

OK, couldn’t resist:

Schori (in machanical CATS voice):

ALL YOUR CHURCH ARE BELONG TO US

Brian: WHAT YOU SAY!!

Schori: HA HA HA

P. S.
Here is a photo of Kate with the same hat but with slightly more matching vestments.

The Monster from Beneath the Green Coaral Seas, fresh from her underwater squid research expedition, meets the Wonder from Outer space still showing the heat friction effects of travel through the earth’s atmosphere,

The Monster from Beneath the Green and Purple Seas with her speargun and fresh from her squid research expedition, meets the Wonder from Outer Space with the heat friction effects of travel through the earth’s atmosphere prominently displayed on his helmet and flying suit.

Thes figures were removed from Mme Tussaud’s as being too outrageous to be believable. No one would dress like this!

Kate: Brian, I didn’t know that you were a volcanologist in your previous life.

Hi! Am able to get into the site. Yaaaayyyy!!1!

For our next act, folks, we’re going to sing Shine, Jesus, Shine!

1. Presiding Bishop Katherin Jefferts-Schori stands with Mr. Rob Biggles, Senior Warden, who played ‘Ciaphas’ in St. Pat’s recent rendition of Jesus Christ, Superstar.

2. Presiding Bishop Katherin Jefferts-Schori admires some of the new vestments donated by the McDonald’s Corporation.

3. “Don’t sweat it, Bishop. Blackwell’s dead.”

4. “You might want to change Bishop. We already have a flamer….”

Sorry, that should be…

4. “You might want to change, Bishop. We already have a flamer….”

The sender regrets the error.

Brian: “Kate, I did what you said. Really! I put this design in place of the mcj.com site. It lasted for a whole week, until that blasted Griffith fixed it . . .”

DISESTABLISHMENTARIANS

5. “Actually Bishop, that’s more than enough cowbell.”

6. Presiding Bishop Katherine Jafferts-Schori prepares to bless new vestments made in honor of RCRC Day. No, wait….

Awaiting their millstones.

Must have washed these in the blood of the wrong lamb.

Brian: “I want the last word – let me do the benediction!”
Kate: “No. I’m the PeeBee, so I get the last word!”
Brian: “My turn!”
Kate: “No, MY TURN!”
Brian: “Hey, what say we do the benediction together?”
Kate: “OK!”
Both: “May the Deity Concept(TM) Be With You!!”

So when will the WINNAHS be announced?

I’m going to take it to this coming Tuesday. So it’ll be some time after that.

[...] year’s MCJ Contest is now closed.  Thanks to everyone who entered.  After careful consideration, the following [...]