NEOSTRUCTURALISM: THE MOVIE

Monday, December 16th, 2013 | Uncategorized

or, Ace’s Post-Modernist Adventure.

21 Comments to NEOSTRUCTURALISM: THE MOVIE

Katherine
December 16, 2013

OMG! The light dawns!

This led me to wonder what a feminist programming language would look like, one that might allow you to create entanglements

It’s Healthcare.gov!

Allen Lewis
December 16, 2013

Sounds rather like that, Katherine!

Allen Lewis
December 17, 2013

What it is is doctrinaire idiocy!

It is women like this who give the entire sex a bad name!

LaVallette
December 17, 2013

Katherine: Absolutely on target!!! Exactly the same thought struck me as I read parts of the article before I gave up on the gibberish. Sibelius, after all, is in charge of the implementation of a project, that has as its slogans: “You will know what is in it after you have legislated it.”

Michael D
December 17, 2013

Computer languages are so modernist, yes. At the deepest level, there is always one right answer. I see now that this must be disheartening for those who believe there are no moral absolutes.

Ed the Roman
December 17, 2013

Perl is object oriented? That’s how I knew it was satire.

Steve L.
December 17, 2013

Her next paper will explore why the Tardis is responsive only to male operators with redundant cardiac systems.

Dave
December 17, 2013

I LOVE it!
We can replace IF – THEN – ELSE statements with: MAYBE – SORTA – KINDA .
DO WHILE loops can become IF THE_SPIRIT_MOVES actions.

A sample of the code would like this:
MAYBE THE_SPIRIT_MOVES AND DOES NOT OBJECT
SORTA INDABA
MAYBE SORTA LIKE“Chris Johnson”
INDABA
MAYBE THE_SPIRIT_MOVES
SORTA SUM( PLUS OR MINUS RND(-1000, 1000)) LIKE
MAYBE THE_SPIRIT_MOVES AND DOES NOT OBJECT
INDABA LIKE

Dave
December 17, 2013

Let’s try that again. the brackets saboutaged me!

I LOVE it!
We can replace IF – THEN – ELSE statements with: MAYBE-SORTA – KINDA .
DO WHILE loops can become IF THE_SPIRIT_MOVES actions.

A sample of the code would like this:
MAYBE THE_SPIRIT_MOVES
AND ‘the database’ DOES NOT OBJECT
SORTA INDABA ‘the_database’
MAYBE ‘customer’ SORTA LIKE “Chris Johnson”
INDABA ‘account_Balance’
MAYBE THE_SPIRIT_MOVES
SORTA SUM( ‘account_balance’ PLUS OR MINUS RND(-1000, 1000)) LIKE ‘new_account_balance’
MAYBE THE_SPIRIT_MOVES AND ‘the_database’ DOES NOT OBJECT
INDABA ‘account_Balance’ LIKE ‘new_account_balance’

Michael D
December 17, 2013

And what will you call your new language, Dave?

“She++” ?

:)

FW Ken
December 17, 2013

Dave, that’s great.

Of course, I say that as one who doesn’t have a clue what’s going on.

The Little Myrmidon
December 17, 2013

I am making “unladylike” snorting noises and Coca-Cola is coming out my nose.

FW Ken
December 17, 2013

Ok, I read Ace’s fisk and think I understand: the woman is in a tenure track position and needs to get published. That means she has to come up with something NEW!, preferably in language no one understands, but feel obligated to pretend they do. It’s like the store clerk told me yesterday about George Weigel: he’s a thoughtful writer for mature thinkers. Fortunately, I like Weigel ok, but if I didn’t, would I admit it?

I predict a full professorship in her future.

Michael Berry
December 17, 2013

Maybe even university President?

Marie Blocher
December 17, 2013

Grace Hopper designed Cobol, a structured programming language. She was definitely a woman. I still have the
nano-second she gave me.

SouthCoast
December 17, 2013

Sounds like she has a grand career in vaporware ahead-a her.

Dave
December 17, 2013

Marie -
If you have a nanosecond from Grace Hopper you should certainly cherish it. Grace was a true pioneer, and if I’m not mistaken, the person who found the first computer “bug” (a moth which had shorted out one of the vacuum tubes in the computer).

As is the case everywhere, there are those who quietly get on with the work at hand (like Grace) and earn the undying respect of their peers, and there are others who just talk a good show.

Dave
December 17, 2013

P.S.
For those non-geeks out there, the “nanosecond” we’re talking about is a piece of wire, about 11.8″ long, which is the distance an electrical signal could traverse in a nanosecond.
I believe that in addition to being one of Grace’s training aids, these were actually used to synchronize timing on the first computers.

Marie Blocher
December 17, 2013

Dave,
Nanoseconds hadn’t been invented/discovered when Whirlwind or the Univac were built. It took more than a nanosecond for one of the mechanical relays used in a flip-flop to snap shut to store a one or zero.

Grace admitted she was the first to find a “bug” in a computer. After removing it from the relay it had died in, she said she taped it into the log book.
In her speech to our group, she mentioned requisitioning a millisecond, and showed us a huge coil of wire, then a few years later she said she requisitioned a microsecond, and showed us a smaller
coil of wire, then a few more years later she requisitioned a nanosecond and said this is what the sent over. She said when one of the admirals was complaining about the delay in transmissions to our astronauts on the moon, she held up a nanosecond and said “its a lot of nanoseconds between here and the moon.”
After she left the Navy the second time, she was employed by DEC until she died.

Ed the Roman
December 17, 2013

Every so often I still have to have conversation with people to the effect that no matter how much bandwidth you buy, latency has a floor.

BobF
December 18, 2013

Feminist programming languages will need to be supported by eunuchs in order to gain widespread acceptance.

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