Posted by Christopher Johnson | Sunday, January 27th, 2013 | Uncategorized | 77 Comments
Over the weekend, Spongianity established a brand-new and official presence in South Carolina so to mark that auspicious occasion, Katharine Jefferts Schori, the national head of the Spongian Church, Realty Company and Sex Emporium, gave a little speech. After relating a story about a man who was arrested for flying a glider too close to a nuclear power plant and how unfair that arrest was, Mrs. Schori said this:
I tell you that story because it’s indicative of attitudes we’ve seen here and in many other places. Somebody decides he knows the law, and oversteps whatever authority he may have to dictate the fate of others who may in fact be obeying the law, and often a law for which this local tyrant is not the judge. It’s not too far from that kind of attitude to citizens’ militias deciding to patrol their towns or the Mexican border for unwelcome visitors. It’s not terribly far from the state of mind evidenced in school shootings, or in those who want to arm school children, or the terrorism that takes oil workers hostage.
If you’re new to this site, Kate’s referring to Mark Lawrence, the Episcopal Bishop of South Carolina and someone of an entirely different religion from her own. But let’s unpack that paragraph for a second, shall we?
“Attitudes we’ve seen here” are, according to Mrs. Schori, “not terribly far from the state of mind evidenced in school shootings, or in those who want to arm school children, or the terrorism that takes oil workers hostage.”
Basically, Mrs. Schori asserts here that rejecting Spongianity and, particularly, rejecting the Holy Prophet John Shelby (peace and blessings be upon him) is pretty much the same as walking into a school and opening up on little kids. Or Al Qaeda. Or both.
Got it. But while this thing doesn’t have Frank Griswold’s leftist Jenny C. Quaw, I kid you not, it actually gets better. Katharine Jefferts Irony-Deprived followed that stupid paragraph with this one.
Most human communities, from churches to governments to families, function more effectively in response to shared decision-making. Most of us don’t live in a world where one person is the ultimate Decider – because, over and over again, we’ve discovered that better decisions are made when they’re made in communities with appropriate checks and balances. Power assumed by one authority figure alone is often a recipe for abuse, tyranny, and corruption.
Said the woman who has, on several occasions, declared that this or that Christian has “renounced his orders” when they clearly and legally haven’t. It gets better still. She’s among
Biblical illiterates friends so Kate figures she’ll rewrite Acts 15.
Today is the feast day for Timothy, Titus, and Silas. They were early disciples of the Jesus movement, and they offer a constructive example of the same issues. The early Christian community has been wrestling with what it means to be a faithful follower of the law as a Gentile – how much of the Jewish law applies to these new followers of Jesus? Paul and Barnabas set out to visit Antioch, sent by the group of leaders in Jerusalem, who have chosen Silas and a couple of others to go with them. They take a letter from the council with them says, “we know you’ve heard rumors about us and our decision-making, so we’re sending these people to share with you what has actually been decided. We think you’ll discover that the rumors aren’t as extreme as the reality. We’re not increasing your burdens, we’re trying to simplify them.” The council has decided in a minimalist way – circumcision is not required, nor must the gentiles follow all the dietary laws. Just a few things: don’t eat food that’s been blessed in pagan rites, and don’t eat meat from strangled animals or that still has blood in it. But the struggle continued over whether that was adequate observance.
High Editorial Praise!! to the first person who can tell the Editor what Mrs. Schori left out of her exegesis. Several tedious paragraphs later, Kate tells her audience that they shouldn’t think what she herself just said several tedious paragraphs before that.
What are those of you in this Diocese going to do in your interactions with those who’ve departed? Are they law-breakers who should be shot down or thrown in jail? Do we see them as vigilantes? Neither is going to produce more abundant life, my friends. When you meet them out there in the pasture, consider that some of the sheep may think they’re listening to the voice of the Good Shepherd. Some are also simply exhausted.
To any traditionalist Christians who still think that you’re “called” to remain in the Episcopal Organization, here’s the deal.
They hate you.
They don’t just disagree with you.
They hate you.
They loathe, despise and detest you with every fiber of their being. Katharine Jefferts Schori just compared you to school shooters and terrorists.
They’ll kick you out eventually. Because you’re the enemy and you’re going down.
Count on it.