SECONDHAND AIR

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012 | Uncategorized

I finally found out why I’ve been overweight most of my life.  Some of you people seem to think that you have some kind of right to exhale or something:

No, this is not 1 April – and this is not an April Fool’s hoax.

Mad as it may sound, Danish researchers have announced a theory that may not only explain why people all over the world are getting fatter and fatter, but also warn of the serious consequences for life on Earth of continued pollution of the atmosphere by CO2 emissions.

In itself, the theory is quite simple: CO2 contributes to making us fat.

The theory arose several years ago, when Lars-Georg Hersoug studied the development of obesity among people who had been followed over a number of years in the so-called MONICA studies (Monitoring of Trends and Determinants in Cardio-vascular Disease) in Denmark. These studies have mapped the lifestyles of thousands of Danes.

Hersoug was surprised to see that both fat and thin people taking part in the studies over a 22-year period had put on weight – and the increase was proportionately the same.

Orexins – which are neuropeptide hormones – in the brain stimulate wakefulness and energy expenditure. These hormones may be affected by CO2, and this can cause us to go to bed later, affecting our metabolism so it is easier for us to put on weight. But orexins are also involved in the stimulation of food intake.

“The normal theory is that fat people get fatter because they don’t move as much as they should,” says Hersoug, now a post-doc at the Research Centre for Prevention and Health at Glostrup University Hospital. “But the study showed that thin people also get fatter, and this happened over the whole of the 22-year period of the study.”

12 Comments to SECONDHAND AIR

Smurf Breath
March 13, 2012

um… could it be that as they aged over the 22 years, their metabolism slowed down? Hey John, if you’re a fattie, this is something else that you can blame on carbon emissions. You can become the Caeser Barber of carbon.

The Little Myrmidon
March 13, 2012

So! the solution should be simple – go live in the woods where all the trees are giving off O2.

That and the fact that there wouldn’t be a Micky-D’s on every corner and the pounds should just melt away.

Dale Matson
March 13, 2012

Did someone photoshop that report?

Galletta
March 13, 2012

It makes me hungry just reading this article–or maybe it’s just the breathing.

Tom
March 14, 2012

So what did evryone exhale 50 years ago, when we were a lot thinner?

David Ould
March 14, 2012

I have always remained thin since I never go outdoors. I spend my time denouncing homosexuals from my computer which keeps me slim. I recommend everyone goes on this effective diet.

Katherine
March 14, 2012

Smurf Breath had it first. The scientists apparently failed to notice that the participants got 22 years older during the course of the study.

David, somehow in the US we have quite a different view of life Down Under. You’re not all out in the sun all day? Who knew?

Fuinseoig
March 14, 2012

“These hormones may be affected by CO2, and this can cause us to go to bed later, affecting our metabolism so it is easier for us to put on weight.”

The fat has obviously affected my brain, because I would have thought that staying up later meant you would be more active, so you would be using more energy, therefore burning off fat.

On the other hand, you can’t eat while you’re asleep, so maybe that accounts for it.

;-)

Katherine
March 14, 2012

Fuinseoig, on a topic like this, logic is not needed. Get with the program.

SouthCoast
March 14, 2012

Between this pearl and the recent howling report that “meat kills you!”, I’m beginning to suspect that participating in dietary/medical studies is intrinsically hazardous to one’s health. The relationship is clear!

Michal
March 14, 2012

So now, instead of prodding us to save the planet, the AGW crowd is trying an appeal to our vanity? Excuse, me!?

Smurf Breath
March 14, 2012

So now, instead of prodding us to save the planet, the AGW crowd is trying an appeal to our vanity? Excuse, me!?

Hey, you do what you gotta do to get people to behave how you want. Not everyone is as gullible as John. Different tools for different fools.

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