HOT AND BOTHERED

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized

Don’t look now but there may be a brand new group for Episcopalians to kiss up to:

Ever since Madonna planted that wet kiss on Britney Spears in front of millions of television viewers at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, women have been loosening up sexually with other women.

These so-called flexisexuals say that although they are not gay or even bisexual, they enjoy flirting and kissing girls — but they still enjoy having sex with men.

Experts say they may be influenced by the growing visibility of same-sex couples and more open attitudes about sex in general.

Flexisexual is also known as heteroflexible, pansexual or queer, all subtle variations that mean they are not closing any doors.

Let’s see.  Jesus never said anything about it, Scripture writers didn’t know what we know now, Jesus never turned anyone away, all-inclusive love of God, etc.  Yeah, it might work and it’s worth a shot.  Vague, Ambiguous Deity Concept knows, TEO’s homosexual fling has been a financial disaster.

16 Comments to HOT AND BOTHERED

Smurf Breath
February 24, 2011

So what you’re saying is that the only hope of TEc’s recovery is if Katharine Jefferts-Schori can convince Katy Perry to engage in a sexcharist? In which she puts the Purple Haze mitre upon Katy’s head and strokes her lovingly with a crozier? You might be onto something.

Paula Loughlin
February 24, 2011

I’m a flexisexual. I never have a set schedule for having carnal knowledge of hubs.

Dale Matson
February 24, 2011

“Ever since Madonna planted that wet kiss on Britney Spears in front of millions of television viewers at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards” I don’t think she was kissing Britney. I think she was sucking the life out of her. Ever since that kiss, Britney’s career has been down the dumper.

Fuinseoig
February 24, 2011

Let’s see: a moment that probably had its zenith (or nadir) back in 2003, all of seven years ago.

Just trendy and cutting-edge enough for TEC to adopt! :-)

Grandmother
February 24, 2011

Well, that explains the song, you know, “when Heaven touches earth like a sloppy wet kiss”(How He Loves Us) (or something) … I’m sure glad to understand what that meant…
Grandmother

Therese Z
February 24, 2011

The first and only time I watched Glee there were two supposed-to-be high-school cheerleaders, laying in bed together pressed lip to toe, necking because they were bored, “making lady babies” as they put it.

Wait For It
February 24, 2011

Fuinseoig, you’re exactly right. That’s just about how long it takes for TEc’s media-savvy trendmasters to clue in and glom on. By my calculation, the Martha Stewcharist (individually monogrammed hosts) should make its debut at the 2012 General Convention, with the Ellen Degencharist (“Every deputy gets a no-gas Nissan Leaf!”) arriving in 2015.

Sinner
February 24, 2011

although they are not gay or even bisexual, they enjoy flirting and kissing girls…

what the rest of us call being “in denial”

Diane
February 24, 2011

The article is largly correct, but matters not…we have to discern if acting on our desires (fleeting, ingrained, fluid, whatever) is keeping with God’s plan for humanity and act (or don’t act) accordingly.
What many of the protestants have done s say that if you feel it, God wants you to act on it, therefore it’s not a sin….wrong.

Christopher Johnson
February 24, 2011

Many non-Protestants say and do that too, Diane. That’s not exclusive to any one single denomination.

Don Janousek
February 24, 2011

“…women have been loosening up…” Ya got that right, when it comes to the liberal variety.

I like kissing girls, but not any of the others mentioned, so I must be a “femisexualist.”

And, once again, these folks show their bigotry toward other species by limiting the kissing choices to humans. Humpf! Mongrel mutt I had as a kids used to slobber all over me. Hey, I’m a “caninesexuall,” too!

SouthCoast
February 24, 2011

Is boredom with egregious sinners a sin of commission or omission? Someone let me know before Confession on Saturday!

godescalc
February 24, 2011

Apparently the word “bicurious” has gone out of fashion, or something? But “heteroflexible” has been around for a while.

As to women loosening up, there were some girls at school when I were a lad (back in England) who were said to have experimented with each other a bit. Back then it was just teenagers being teenagers, but now they’d probably have cultural analysts swarming all over them trying to figure out what this means for the evolving attitudes of youth or something.

Maureen
February 24, 2011

It’s usually a case of “my boyfriend was mean and dumped me”, “if we do this in front of guys they’ll suddenly think we’re hot”, “fine, I’m so lonely I’ll try this”, or “I’ve worked my way through all the guys so I’ll try the other 50% of the population.

Desperate or power-hungry, but very seldom curious or flexible. Obviously it beats suicide as a coping mechanism, but people saying it’s healthy are really saying “I like women being really desperate, right in front of me!”

Kathy C
February 25, 2011

Maureen, I like your analysis the best. That sure sounds like girls to me.

Fuinseoig
February 25, 2011

Sinner, that’s not called “being in denial.” That’s called “laughing your backside off as you mercilessly tease all the males with their tongues hanging out watching you and your best friend yank their chains by pretending to be lesbians.”

:-)

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