Wonderful! Thank you. It always help to start the day with a good laugh along with my prayers.

Would it be possible — as long as you brought them up — to reprise “the letters?” They were some of your best writing!

A superb spoof.

Two problems though. The Vatican doesn’t have a voicemail system. Instead, as the L.A. Times and other outlets recently reported, it has human operators. The best kind. Multilingual nuns.

Also, I understand that Cardinal Bertone, the Secretary of State, does not speak English.

I see you spend a lot of time talking with (or attempting to talk with) Tech Support. Aren’t those new menus where you can speak your choice just wonderful? Especially since they never really have a category that is useful!

Marvelous satire, Chris. Very lifelike!

Except for Schori’s parts–she’s not the least bit life-like.

Her id-ness should include with her other magnificent title that she’s the “primate” of all episcopalianism…. Yah, that’d be her ticket.

I fell off the bed reading “Our options have recently changed” and then see Greek and Cyrillic letters.

*laughing too hard to type*

Having attempted to navigate the Holy See’s website in order to look up various encyclicals, this rings all too true

Excellent! I suppose the use of the term “bishop” in the last exchange was a colloquialism in Italian for “bi*ch up” since I doubt the former is meant?

Great Thanksgiving fare! Just another reason to start the day with the M…C…J!!!

The Italian word for “bishop”, IIRC, is “vescovo”. [Archbishop = "arcivescovo"]

Beautiful way to get a laugh (and why would ANYBODY in the Vatican care to have anything to do with Ms. Schori-Jefferts, the nominal head of a minor pseudo-Protestant, post-Christian {i.e., no longer “Christian”} denomination degenerated into a cult??)…

The only thing needing to be changed is that surely one would not be giving a “Korean” option for Russian speakers!

[...] YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US “See, my wife and I had just stopped in for some maps. What with the farm in WaKeeney and all, Mrs. Fabermayer and I have never traveled much. A weekend in Topeka now and then, Kansas City if Mrs. Fabermayer’s feeling frisky. … [...]

Thanks, Sasha. I fixed it(I think). I knew I’d mess one of these up.

Also, I understand that Cardinal Bertone, the Secretary of State, does not speak English.

Looking at some of the PB’s bleatings, I question whether she speaks English.

Well, you never know, Christopher: there could well be Korean-speaking Russians out there

Wasn’t KJS busy when the Holy Father was in America and she was invited to be there with him at a Mass?

How right you are, muerknz (about Mrs. Schori being “busy” when she was invited to meet His Holiness Benedict XVI on his visit to the USA)!!!

Mr. Christopher Johnson, you’re most welcome – you’re so good with satire that it’s a pleasureable duty to help tweak out the little gremlins that come up thanks to our humanness so others with baser intentions can’t nail you that easily…

Possible correction: “Pogovorítj s któ-tom po-rússkom” (or “po-rússki”). After all, when one says in Russian to speak a language, the idea in English can be rendered “to speak in the manner of [a] nation.”

Thus, although a Russian thing/object/person is “rússkiy” (e.g., “rússkiy chjelovjék”), speaking a language is “po-” (e.g., “rússki, francúski, angljíski,” etc.). [The last bit - "angljíski" - in my system would have the 'j' with NO dot on the top as it's not a written character but a dialect-related tip relative to pronunciation...]

[To keep things simple, I've opted to do everything in the Latin alphabet using my (somewhat-simplified) transliteration system.]

Of course, if asked, the Holy Father would certainly make time to meet Herself. He’s spent time with Fr. Hans Kung and a variety heretics and atheists.

“Girl from Ipanema…” PRICELESS! Happy Thanksgiving you witty, witty man!

[...] YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US “See, my wife and I had just stopped in for some maps. What with the farm in WaKeeney and all, Mrs. Fabermayer and I have never traveled much. A weekend in Topeka now and then, Kansas City if Mrs. Fabermayer’s feeling frisky. … [...]

You have out-done yourself again with this one Chris! Have you ever thought of doing a comic strip? I almost spilled my breakfast on the keyboard I was laughing so hard.

What I cannot understand, however, is that the Vatican/Benedict XVI and Kasper have time for Williams…who is Shori’s sock puppet.

Floridian -
What I cannot understand, however, is that the Vatican/Benedict XVI and Kasper have time for Williams…who is Shori’s sock puppet.

What you have said is quite true. However, Dr. Williams does carry the title of one of the ancient important Sees of Rome. It is that item which merits the ABC the face time with the Pope, not his qualifications.

You notice that Rome had no problem breaking off the ARCIC talks while +Griswold was a part of them. Once the C of E officially consecrates as bishop, someone in a same sex relation, you will find that Rome just gives up on ARCIC altogether.

Why they have not done so before this point is, I must admit, a good question. Perhaps they are using that to keep the C of E from self-destructing. Although it is doing a fine job of just that very thing.

If memory serves, Paul VI gave the ABC of his time (Coggins? Runcie?) an episcopal ring. He (Paul) also thought enough of the Office now held by Rowan Williams to write and discourage the Anglicans from beginning the ordination of women to the priesthood.

Williams got a 20 minute photo-op on his last trip to Rome. That’s how far things have gone in less than 40 years.

The CofE side has gone right ahead enacting its unique agenda while at the same time conducting official talks with the Vatican. They are obviously on two different, though maybe parallel tracks. By this time the Romans must wonder whether to laugh or to cry everytime the subject of Anglicanism is brought up.

I wonder why Rome still talks to the Anglicans at all. Was it Walter Kasper who told the Anglicans that they’re going to have to decide just what it is that they believe, whether they’re Protestants or Catholics? Were I in charge of ecumenical discussions on the Catholic side, I’d tell my gracious lord of Canterbury that when Anglicanism gets its act together, you have our number but until then, don’t use it. But that’s just me.

Paul VI gave his ring to Archbishop Ramsey in 1966 or 1970. Ramsey left it at his death to the Canterbury archbishopric as a perpetual “heirloom,” and when the present AbC visited JP II in Oct. 2003 or 04 (a visit that got Evangelical Anglicans in a tizzy when the AbC spontaneously knelt and kissed the pope’s ring, and the pope lifted up the AbC’s hand and kissed his ring) he was wearing that same ring.

“You notice that Rome had no problem breaking off the ARCIC talks while +Griswold was a part of them. Once the C of E officially consecrates as bishop, someone in a same sex relation, you will find that Rome just gives up on ARCIC altogether.”

They have. At the time of Robinson’s alleged consecration, the ARCIC was working on one paper, a report on the place of Marian theology in the worship of the two churches. That paper was released in 2003, and the Pope put further meetings “on hold” indefinitely.

W.T., I didn’t know that Rowan Williams had genuflected to the Pope at any time. It is a rather empty gesture if he doesn’t intend to do what it represents–that is, to be obedient, and he certainly has not been.

And if you think that’s bad, you should have heard the phone call to the Ecumenical Patriarch!

“Hello, my name is Katharine Jefferts Schori, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church of the United States of America and I’d like to speak with the Ecumenical Patriarch.”

CLICK

lol

Chris, you might want to check out those comments above linking to the “mygamesok.com” domain. I tried to visit one and it was blocked, with a warning sign that the site was a “malware” distributor.

Thanks for the heads-up. I went in and pulled them.