Posted by Christopher Johnson | Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 | Uncategorized | 32 Comments
Sometimes it scares me just how awesome I am. Me on December 4, 2008:
But your comment inspired an idea that could make you guys mad jack. Naming rights. They do it with football stadiums and college football bowl games. Why not Episcopal churches?
For example, New York would balance its budget and probably even run a surplus if they changed the name to Bank of America Cathedral of St. John the Divine. The NatCat’s financial problems would vanish overnight if they just started calling it the Microsoft Windows Vista National Cathedral.
Actually, that particular name probably wouldn’t be advisable. The service would grind to a halt every few minutes and they’d constantly have to restart the liturgy. But you get the idea.
I just now thought of something else, Jim. NASCAR. You know how much scratch those stupid necks are pulling down. Why not get some of it yourself?
Sell ad space on clergy vestments to every company that wants to buy it. Since Episcopal vestments are generally butt-ugly disgraces anyway, why not put that space to work for you?
Patches would depend on how much money was paid and for how long. Some companies could buy a small patch while others could basically sponsor individual churches or even dioceses.
Don’t know why, I guess it was because I tweaked this thing until 3:00 in the morning, but I missed the most obvious fundraising idea. Go the bowl game route yourselves; let companies advertise their products by sponsoring particular days on the Episcopal calendar.
Other churches can celebrate the Feast of Pentecost for free. Episcopalians can call it the McDonald’s McRib Sandwich Feast of Pentecost and clean up. At the snackeral mapper joint down the street, it’s just the Third Sunday in Advent but at your outlets, it might be the Viagra Third Sunday in Advent.
Know what the Anglican Organization of Canada wants to do?
The Anglican Church of Canada is inviting corporate sponsorship of its national convention this year, selling space for brand logos on delegate documents, advertising signs in its meeting spaces and a private lunch for executives with the church’s senior archbishop.
It’s the first time in its 117-year history that the Canadian church made its governing synod available for a mess of pottage – to use the language of the Bible’s Old Testament allusion to Esau selling his birthright for a lentil stew. For that matter, no other Canadian church is known to have sold advertising at its formal gatherings and access to its leaders.
Sponsors will be grouped into three categories: visionary (for a $30,000 price-tag), supporter ($7,500) and friend ($2,500).
I guess if you fork over 100 large, the AOoC calls you a prophet. But how much would Implacable Enemy cost?