PRODUCT PLACEMENT II

Posted by Christopher Johnson | Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 | Uncategorized | 32 Comments

Bishop Edwards

Bishop Edwards

Sometimes it scares me just how awesome I am.  Me on December 4, 2008:

But your comment inspired an idea that could make you guys mad jack.  Naming rights.  They do it with football stadiums and college football bowl games.  Why not Episcopal churches?

For example, New York would balance its budget and probably even run a surplus if they changed the name to Bank of America Cathedral of St. John the Divine.  The NatCat’s financial problems would vanish overnight if they just started calling it the Microsoft Windows Vista National Cathedral.

Actually, that particular name probably wouldn’t be advisable.  The service would grind to a halt every few minutes and they’d constantly have to restart the liturgy.  But you get the idea.

I just now thought of something else, Jim.  NASCAR.  You know how much scratch those stupid necks are pulling down.  Why not get some of it yourself?

Sell ad space on clergy vestments to every company that wants to buy it.  Since Episcopal vestments are generally butt-ugly disgraces anyway, why not put that space to work for you?

Patches would depend on how much money was paid and for how long.  Some companies could buy a small patch while others could basically sponsor individual churches or even dioceses.

Don’t know why, I guess it was because I tweaked this thing until 3:00 in the morning, but I missed the most obvious fundraising idea.  Go the bowl game route yourselves; let companies advertise their products by sponsoring particular days on the Episcopal calendar.

Other churches can celebrate the Feast of Pentecost for free.  Episcopalians can call it the McDonald’s McRib Sandwich Feast of Pentecost and clean up.  At the snackeral mapper joint down the street, it’s just the Third Sunday in Advent but at your outlets, it might be the Viagra Third Sunday in Advent.

Know what the Anglican Organization of Canada wants to do?

The Anglican Church of Canada is inviting corporate sponsorship of its national convention this year, selling space for brand logos on delegate documents, advertising signs in its meeting spaces and a private lunch for executives with the church’s senior archbishop.

It’s the first time in its 117-year history that the Canadian church made its governing synod available for a mess of pottage – to use the language of the Bible’s Old Testament allusion to Esau selling his birthright for a lentil stew. For that matter, no other Canadian church is known to have sold advertising at its formal gatherings and access to its leaders.

Sponsors will be grouped into three categories: visionary (for a $30,000 price-tag), supporter ($7,500) and friend ($2,500).

I guess if you fork over 100 large, the AOoC calls you a prophet.  But how much would Implacable Enemy cost?

32 Comments to PRODUCT PLACEMENT II

Whitestone
April 21, 2010

This really calls for another MCJ contest.

What products and colors would be most appropriate to grace the vestments of KJS, VGR or RW? Does Spong still function in a capacity that he wears vestments? Imagine the possibilities.

Even better, what would these advert-vestments look like on a Barbie doll?

dwstroudmd
April 21, 2010

Whitestone, an excellent idea… although it does recall a Saturday Night Live skit about sports broadcasters at an event sponsored by Vagisil that had me in tears. I would have to refrain as my bawdy side would no doubt overwhelm me good intentions…………..

Laura R.
April 21, 2010

Johnson’s Law proved yet again. Awesome indeed!

Smurf Breath
April 21, 2010

What’s ironic about this move is that the reason they must stoop to this in the first place is because they’re irrelevant. No one is paying them (or their conventions) much attention. So why would anyone want to spend good advertising dollars on this?

Also, I’m sure their convention will discuss numerous ‘social justice’ issues. I wonder if the topic of ‘HRCs run amok’ will come up?

[…] PRODUCT PLACEMENT II | Midwest Conservative Journal themcj.com/?p=11089 – view page – cached But your comment inspired an idea that could make you guys mad jack. Naming rights. They do it with football stadiums and college football bowl games. Tweets about this link Topsy.Data.Twitter.User[‘npasdk’] = {“location”:”South Dakota”,”photo”:”http://a3.twimg.com/profile_images/616689671/tim_glasses_normal.jpg”,”name”:”Timothy Fountain”,”url”:”http://twitter.com/npasdk”,”nick”:”npasdk”,”description”:”In each angle of the cross is a tipi surmounted by a small cross… Christ has come to the Dakotas and gathered them under the protection of the cross…”,”influence”:””}; npasdk: “PRODUCT PLACEMENT II | Midwest Conservative Journal http://themcj.com/?p=11089 Yes, a liberal church now offers corporate naming for $$$ ” 25 minutes ago view tweet retweet Filter tweets […]

Bro. AJK
April 21, 2010

Dear Chris,

I’m not going to figure out that twitter thing…

I think you misnamed the bishop. You must say Office Depot Bishop Edwards, yes?

Christopher Johnson
April 21, 2010

No, because these guys change sponsorships regularly. That picture is one of his old ones; I think he’s AFLAC Bishop Edwards now.

Ann McCarthy
April 21, 2010

Wow, you’re like prophetic! And awesome. If only it wasn’t so pathetic.

The Little Myrmidon
April 21, 2010

AFLAC was last year’s sponsor. This year he’s Wal-Mart Bishop Edwards.

C-3PO Mary Tweedle Dee (not dumb) rocking horse Dodo Bird
April 21, 2010

Next year’ he’ll be GEICO Bishiop Edwards, where you’ll save 15 % or more on afterlife insurance. (I’m sorry, It’s getting too late for me and I’m getting punchy.) Must go to sleep.

Stephen
April 22, 2010

Wouldn’t P&G, makers of Teflon, be the obvious sponsor?

JM
April 22, 2010

I wondered about the NASCAR driver, as the Piskies strike me as more likely to be soccer and lacrosse and cycling fans. (Hey, cycling’s perfect: they wear gaudy advertisements for things that aren’t even sold in this country.) But, on second thought, NASCAR is very appropriate, given that the Piskies might want to mandate Nomex underwear for all their bishops.

gppp
April 22, 2010

Whatever happened to selling ad space in Sunday bulletins?

Matthew
April 22, 2010

I’d think Geritol is the obvious sponsor. Either that or the ‘Scooter Store’.

Fuinseoig
April 22, 2010

Christopher, does that crystal ball of yours pick up any other revelations of the future?

🙂

Christopher Hathaway
April 22, 2010

Why is no one going for the obvious? Ex-Lax.

“When you’re full of **it”

Christopher Hathaway
April 22, 2010

Or: The Episcopal Trojans. There’s a whole lot of ways that could fit.

Mark Windsor
April 22, 2010

Look, mom! We got the Jimmy Dean Sausage pew! How cool is that?!?

chris
April 22, 2010

In this economy, what kind of company would spend $30K (Canadian or American dollars?) to advertise to a shrinking market?

Geosez
April 22, 2010

“You know how much scratch those stupid necks are pulling down.”

O.K., Christopher — now you’ve quit preaching and gone to meddling!

Janjan
April 22, 2010

Can we get someone to sponsor a set of vestments for KJS?

Minuteman
April 22, 2010

Janjan
Can we get someone to sponsor a set of vestments for KJS?—- How about Crayola ?

Minuteman
April 22, 2010

(I was beaten to Trojans ) How about Waste Management?

The Pilgrim
April 22, 2010

“Can we get someone to sponsor a set of vestments for KJS?”

They already have: Elton John and George Clinton.

Ed the Roman
April 22, 2010

Hey! Show props to Commander-in-Chief Clinton!

Dale Matson
April 22, 2010

How about Neptune Society?

Maureen
April 22, 2010

To be fair, being a big donor will get you lunch with a lot of bishops and governing officials in a lot of churches.

Logos, not so much. Building a chapel or other building with your money and getting your name on it, or getting your name on a plaque, yes.

Stephen
April 22, 2010

Please join in our opening hymn, “My Bologna Has A First Name.”

Michael D
April 22, 2010

Chris, does this make you a surplice prophet?

Michael D
April 22, 2010

OK, that previous one is going to get deleted. Let me try again:

Expect to see advertisements for Islam appearing in pew bulletins in the Diocese of Central New York.

The Little Myrmidon
April 22, 2010

Are they planning to target their advetising to their demographic? How about CVS Caremark, United Health Group, Wellpoint, Johnson & Johnson, Medco Health Solutions, EyeMed Vision Care, Pfizer, Merck Pharmaceuticals, etc, etc,.

[…] DEN OF THIEVES– The Anglican Church of Canada is inviting corporate sponsorship of its national convention […]

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