ZZZZZ…

Monday, March 29th, 2010 | Uncategorized

Why am I not an atheist?  Apart from the fact that I can’t make the cosmological logic work, that atheism murdered more people in one century than religion supposedly did in twenty and that acts of non-religious altruism can be counted on one hand(not a lot of atheist-run food banks out there), I’m not an atheist because I just can’t make myself associate with pathetic little weenies like Phil Pullman:

Bestselling British author Philip Pullman risks offending Christians with his latest book, a fictional account of the “good man Jesus” and the “scoundrel Christ.”

Yet another attack on Christianity.  Carl?

Thanks, man.  Alas and alack, whatever shall we Christians do?!!

The 63-year-old, an outspoken atheist, angered some members of the Catholic Church with a thinly veiled attack on organized religion in his hugely successful “His Dark Materials” trilogy, the first of which was turned into a Hollywood blockbuster.

Wasn’t that much of a blockbuster if I remember correctly.

But “The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ” is a far more direct exploration of the foundations of Christianity and the church as well as an examination of the fascination and power of storytelling.

An “exploration of the foundations of Christianity and the church.”  Written by an atheist.  Okay, I’ll take a stab at it.  Really good man with nothing divine about him at all whose teachings were distorted into something he never intended?

In the novel, Jesus has a twin brother called Christ who secretly records and embellishes his brother’s teachings. 

Johnson, top of the arc, SWISH, nothing but net!!  At least Phil’s got an original plot.  By the way, did you know that the Pope’s got a brother named XVI and that Catherine of Russia had two sisters named The and Great? 

Pully, by the way, is one of those “brave” artists who grab you by the collar, slam you up against a wall and spend fifteen to twenty minutes making sure you understand just how incredibly courageous he really is.

When one man said Christians would be upset to hear Christ referred to as a “scoundrel,” Pullman replied:

“I knew it was a shocking thing to say, but no one has the right to live without being shocked. Nobody has to read this book … and no one has the right to stop me writing this book.”

Whatever, freakshow.  Phil, nobody is impressed by this crap anymore.

31 Comments to ZZZZZ…

Michael D
March 29, 2010

At least Phil’s got an original plot. By the way, did you know that the Pope’s got a brother named XVI and that Catherine of Russia had two sisters named The and Great?

This, more than anything else, is why I keep reading this blog. You are so right-on, Chris, when you nail people like this.

Thank you.

As for Philip Pullman, I can’t imagine why I would read his stuff. He’s got nothing.

Ed the Roman
March 29, 2010

Perhaps Pullman thinks that since he writes books for people who need to be read to, he can use arguments that only they would accept.

Matthew
March 29, 2010

Didn’t Spong already have a swing at the ‘atheist writing about the foundations of Christianity’ gig? I guess there really is nothing new under the sun.

Truth Unites... and Divides
March 29, 2010

By the way, did you know that the Pope’s got a brother named XVI and that Catherine of Russia had two sisters named The and Great?

I didn’t know that. But I’ll go one better, did you know that the PBess KJS has a twin sister in Sarah Hey? They fight a lot, but in the end, they’re both yoked together in TEc. And both of ‘em don’t tolerate any discussion about the merits of leaving TEc either.

;-)

Dale Matson
March 29, 2010

Keep it up you Brits. Sooner or later Christopher Hitchens, with his pathological drive for Justice and melancholy drifting against the shores of society, will see a need to defend Christianity. By faith, I will see that day! St. Paul 2.0

Smurf Breath
March 29, 2010

At least Phil’s got an original plot.

Uh, no he does not. One Robert Cavin did his doctoral dissertation on the theory that Jesus had an identical twin brother who was separated at birth, returned in secret when he heard how famous Jesus had become, stole Jesus’ body after his death, and then impersonated him, causing people to think that Jesus had been resurrected from the dead.

William Lane Craig (who specializes in the historical study of the resurrection) hands his head to him here: http://www.bringyou.to/CraigCavinDebate.mp3

Personally I think Cavin may be more talented at writing fantasy fiction than Pullman.

Don Janousek
March 29, 2010

Actually, there is a very ancient myth that goes back almost to the beginning of the Church that Thomas was called “the twin” because he was the twin of Christ and if you look long enough and in the right light after a couple of shots of Jack Daniels, you can see twin Christs in DaVinci’s Last Supper. Also, the theory goes, this is the reason Catholic churches will have statues of Mary and Joseph both holding an infant.

Now, as Phil…what a complete horse’s patoot! “No one has the right to stop me writing this book.” Ya got that right, Phil, and no one is even trying, so chill out. Your nifty book will probably reach the same sales level as that Hollywood blockbuster, which, like our host, I somehow missed. Must have only been shown in the really arty theaters or something. What a completely amusing fellow that Phil is. Do I see “stand-up” in his future? You bet I do!

Dr. Mabuse
March 29, 2010

Original? No way! The Canadians already covered this angle years ago: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGB7iLpVrhQ&feature=fvsr

The Little Myrmidon
March 29, 2010

“In the novel, Jesus has a twin brother called Christ who secretly records and embellishes his brother’s teachings.”

Not that tired old stand-by old the soaps, the “evil twin”? Can’t this guy come up with a better plot device than that?

Scott W.
March 29, 2010

“…and no one has the right to stop me writing this book.”

Apparently not his publisher, who heard this:

“In the novel, Jesus has a twin brother called Christ who secretly records and embellishes his brother’s teachings.”

and gave it a thumbs without laughing out of his chair.

Toral
March 29, 2010

The +++ABC is on record as a fan of Pullman’s trilogy. Perhaps he’ll share his thoughts on this one as well.

dwstroudmd
March 29, 2010

“but no one has the right to live without being shocked” – PP.

Which was often solved in my college dorm by two wires, a battery, and a salt solution on the floor in front of the urinal – rarely noticed by inebriated fellows and surely worth a laugh or two when contact was made. Alas, PP does not rise to this level of literary construction in his writings completed or proposed.

If, however, he does make it through life without the shocking realization that God is not just dog spelled backwards, he’s going to have a glorious shock afterwards!

Bro. AJK
March 29, 2010

“Johnson, top of the arc, SWISH, nothing but net!! At least Phil’s got an original plot. By the way, did you know that the Pope’s got a brother named XVI and that Catherine of Russia had two sisters named The and Great?”

If you look carefully at Canada’s money, you see two queens: Elizabeth and II.

;)

Barney
March 29, 2010

*The following is a rant*

Read the Trilogy… IMHO not well written. The purpose of fiction is to suspend disbelief and to entertain. I wasn’t entertained and the only suspension was suspending book over an open fire to see how well it burned…

The movie was a poor imitation of a vacuum cleaner.

I can see it now though… PP will win awards for his ground-breaking concept… it will appear on every middle school reading list and moronic kids will be begging their parental units for t-shirts, pillows and lunch boxes (do they still make lunch boxes? I still have my Beanie & Cecil the sea Sick Sea Serpent one from 3rd grade).

It is our job, as parents, to screen the books our kids read… There are too many wonderfully written books out there to allow kids to read PP’s stuff…

Hmmm… why are we calling him pp? Maybe we should rename him, just in the interests of being fair minded… perhaps we should call him Pu Pi?

Barney
March 29, 2010

Bro AJK…. There are a lot more queens in Canada than just two…

dwstroudmd
March 29, 2010

Barney, I was utilizing a paronomasia (http://thesaurus.com/browse/pun#visualthesaurus)on Phillip Pullman’s initials related to my illustration of his literary ability,however, I will concede your point without hesitation. :>)

nary raitt
March 29, 2010

Pullman and Sinead O’connor have not suffered from religious wars. Their hatred, I think, is partly inherited, as is that of the Washington Post through
Agnes Ernst Meyer, wife of one of its owners, and determination to destroy the only power against their enthusiasm, the all-opowerful economic state with its accompanying sexual license.

Ted Christ
March 29, 2010

I’m so SICK of my older bro, and His holier-than-thou attitude. Mom thinks He walks on water, but He’s a total doof, man. That water-into-wine trick He supposedly did? It was wine COOLER! Of course everyone was so hammered they didn’t know they difference; why do you think He waited till the end of the wedding to pull that one out? Yeah mom, I could go out and get a job too if I wasn’t worried about working on something called the SABBATH, maybe you’ve heard of it?? He thinks He’s all big because He has His posse with him, and he can forget about ol’ brother Ted. Huh, bro? I bet He doesn’t even talk about me to His buddies.

SouthCoast
March 29, 2010

He was probably the sort of annoying kid who got his jollies by sidling up to other kids and muttering, “I’m not touching you!” until they turned around and smacked him, thereby earning an undeserved trip to the office.

LaVallette
March 30, 2010

Another of those “Oh so courageous! Oh so creative! Oh so original! Oh so Intellectually Superior!”.

OH SO BORING!!!!! We have seen, read and been told about it all before and it is now become so trite to have this sort of rubbish coming forth annually at times like Easter or Christmas. It has now become a seasonal ritual by the anti Christians and/or Atheists.

Chris M
March 30, 2010

I won’t read it.. but if they make a movie with Jesus being clean shaven and Christ having a goatee, I’m totally going on opening night.

Allen Lewis
March 30, 2010

“I knew it was a shocking thing to say, but no one has the right to live without being shocked. Nobody has to read this book … and no one has the right to stop me writing this book.”

This is quite true as far as it goes, and I have no objections to the man doing whatever it is that gives him a sense of accomplishment.

But if he really wants to test his theory about no one having a right not to be shocked, let him blow up one of those Danish Mohamed cartoons, affix it on a piece of poster board, affix said poster board to a wooden dowel, and parade with that in an urban, mostly Muslim neighborhood. We will see how well his theory works out then.

Pullman originally wrote his “Dark Materials” trilogy as a counter to C. S. Lewis’ Narnia series. He has been pouting over how much more popular Lewis’ work has been.

I agree with our genteel host that the plot does not sound that original and I imagine this book will be more boring than Dan Brown’s masterpieces.

The Pilgrim
March 30, 2010

If “The Golden Compass” was such a blockbuster, then why haven’t the remainder of the books been filmed?

The Pilgrim
March 30, 2010

Oh yeah, and…

“Pully, by the way, is one of those “brave” artists who grab you by the collar, slam you up against a wall and spend fifteen to twenty minutes making sure you understand just how incredibly courageous he really is.”

We all know that Pullman is not a “brave” artist. Now Salman Rushdie: there’s a brave artist. Pullman isn’t qualified to carry water for Salman Rushdie.

Ed the Roman
March 30, 2010

There are more evocative things that Pullman couldn’t carry for Rushdie.

Christopher Hathaway
March 30, 2010

I read the trilogy as well, more to find out what unwitting children might be subjected to. The first book was somewhat entertaining once you accepted his universe. The story seemed to have a purpose, until the end when the father murders the boy that the main character spends all her time trying to rescue. That bit of emotional horror seems to be not much of a fcator in the young heroines’s life in the second book, which is still readable if you shut your higher brain off and just go for the ride. But by the end of the second book the ride becomes bogged down by Pullman’s need to rant, which is all the third book is. And the rant is so stupid, the plot so anticlimatic and genuinely creepy (and not in the creative Stephen King way) that it takes real determination to finish it.

I would love to hear Christopher Hitchen’s critique those books, because I think he would see how dreadful they were and feel the need to savage them to preserve his own honor as an atheist ranter himself. Reaklly, Pullman is a gift to Christianity in a way.

The Pilgrim
March 30, 2010

I thought of those Ed, but my sense of decorum kept me from mentioning them.

st. anonymous
March 30, 2010

So when’s Pullman gonna write a similar book about Mohammed for the Muslims?

Seeing as how he’s so brave and all.

Jim the Puritan
March 30, 2010

I’m sure his Daemon made him do it.

xavier
March 31, 2010

Christopher:
Actually Saramango- unrepentant Portuguese Stalinist and winner of the Nobel Prize in Lit- has written a book on Cain. In it, he tries to show that God’s a monster, Cain was wronged yadda yadda.
I bet Saramango writes better than Pullman; I bet that Pullman will crib from the unrepentant Stalinist’s novel

xavier

Garth
April 1, 2010

I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed The Golden Compass. The second book suffered horribly from the author’s increasing preachiness, and by the end the handwriting was on the wall; I felt no need (after taking a shower) to even try to read the third one.

Guy’s full of himself, isn’t he?

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