Archive for February, 2011

WHOOPS

Monday, February 28th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 22 Comments

or, Frisco Craptacular!!

San Francisco’s big push for low-flow toilets has turned into a multimillion-dollar plumbing stink.

Skimping on toilet water has resulted in more sludge backing up inside the sewer pipes, said Tyrone Jue, spokesman for the city Public Utilities Commission. That has created a rotten-egg stench near AT&T Park and elsewhere, especially during the dry summer months.

The city has already spent $100 million over the past five years to upgrade its sewer system and sewage plants, in part to combat the odor problem.

Now officials are stocking up on a $14 million, three-year supply of highly concentrated sodium hypochlorite – better known as bleach – to act as an odor eater and to disinfect the city’s treated water before it’s dumped into the bay. It will also be used to sanitize drinking water.

That translates into 8.5 million pounds of bleach either being poured down city drains or into the drinking water supply every year.

CIVILITY

Monday, February 28th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

I don’t know about you but I sure am glad we’ve all toned down the political rhetoric:

State Rep. Gordon Hintz[D - Oshkosh] was issued a municipal citation in Appleton earlier this month for violating a city sexual misconduct ordinance.

Appleton police said the citation was issued Feb. 10 in conjunction with an ongoing investigation of Heavenly Touch Massage Parlor, 342 W. Wisconsin Ave., in Appleton. Police searched the business and a nearby residence in the 1300 block of North Division Street Jan. 28, after investigators had staked out the properties for several days after receiving a tip.

Last Friday…. after the [Wisconsin] Assembly voted to engross the Budget Repair Bill, Hintz turned to a female colleague, [Republican] Rep. Michelle Litjens and said: “You are f***king dead!”

THIS LOW-BORN CLERIC

Sunday, February 27th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 29 Comments

Has my gracious lord of Canterbury grown a spine?

Dr Rowan Williams has refused to be drawn on the issue publicly, but has broken his silence to tell MPs he is not prepared for the Coalition to tell the Church how to behave.

He told a private meeting of influential politicians that the Church of England would not bow to public pressure to allow its buildings to be used to conduct same-sex civil partnerships.

The comments are the first time he has spoken since the Coalition unveiled plans to allow religious buildings to be used to conduct homosexual partnership ceremonies.

While the Church has been bitterly divided over the role of its homosexual clergy, he said it held a clear position that marriage is between a man and a woman and would not consider changing this stance.

The tough line taken by the archbishop will frustrate liberals in the Church who have become increasingly disillusioned by his support for a conservative approach to controversial issues.

Some C of E liberals sound like they’re ready to throw in with the Episcopalians.

Although Dr Williams told MPs that the Church of England would not host same-sex unions, other senior clergy, including Lord Harries, the former Bishop of Oxford, and the Dr Jeffrey John, the Dean of St Albans, have said this would represent discrimination.

Giles Fraser, canon chancellor at St Paul’s cathedral, criticised the Church for failing to embrace the steps to greater equality for homosexual couples.

“Gay relationships are perfectly capable of reflecting the love of God,” he said.

“Which is why the church should respond more imaginatively to the idea of same-sex blessings being celebrated in church.”

But Dr. Williams isn’t budging.

Dr Williams’s comments echo the line taken by Dr John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York, who said clergy should not be forced to conduct same-sex civil partnerships.

A Lambeth Palace spokesman said: “The Church still believes on the basis of Bible and tradition that marriage is between a man and a woman and does not accept that this needs to change.”

It’s tough to know what to make of all this.  After all, Dr. Williams has no problem at all staying in communion with Anglican provinces who are quite comfortable with marrying homosexuals.  So will this matter?

Got me.

EPIC FÁIL

Sunday, February 27th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 41 Comments

Political parties fall all the time but they seldom fall this far:

Ireland’s most dominant political party, Fianna Fáil, is on the road to a historic and devastating defeat in the republic’s general election.

Just months after accepting an EU/IMF bailout, the government is likely to finish in fourth place behind a resurgent Labour party and a slew of independent candidates.

The scale of Fianna Fáil’s losses is so great that a number of high-profile ministers, including finance minister Brian Lenihan, who negotiated the bailout, are in danger of losing their seats. His outgoing ministerial colleague Mary Hanafin also faces the possibility of being unseated in her Dún Laoghaire/Rathdown constituency.

Hopefully, the MCJ’s Ireland bureau chief will be along to explain what this election means for Ireland.  For my part, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to use that title for a post.

SEPPUKU

Friday, February 25th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 15 Comments

There’s been a lot of talk lately about “attacks” on labor unions but I don’t buy it.  Because from all appearances, labor unions are committing ritual suicide.

BIRTHER

Friday, February 25th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 18 Comments

Forget Kenya.  Christopher Hitchens wonders if Barack Obama is secretly Swiss.

SCHADENFREUDE

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 21 Comments

Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of self-righteous douchebags:

Eco-campaigners who built a classroom powered by the sun believed they were paving the way for the future.

Instead they have been taught a valuable lesson – there is not enough sun in North London to sufficiently heat their building.

The much feted zero-carbon Living Ark classroom was opened three months ago to great fanfare.

It boasts laudable green credentials and is made from sustainable wood, sheep’s wool and soil. The roof is made of mud and grass and it has its own ‘rain pod’ and solar panels.

But there is snag – its solar panels only provide enough energy to power a few lightbulbs.

As a result the classroom is bitterly cold and uninhabitable for lessons.

Parents have branded it ‘useless’, an ‘expensive piece of wood’ and a ‘great idea for the Caribbean’.

KEEP THE RECEIPTS

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Nanner McBotoxEgo must be really tough to shop for:

The Democratic National Committee wanted to honor Nancy Pelosi Thursday — but its praise wasn’t good enough for the House minority leader.

I’ll bet when young Nanner and her fiancé were shopping for an engagement ring, Nanner was all like, “Not that one, stupid!  The big one in the back!  Yeah, I know how much it costs!!  Figure out a way to afford it, dumbass!!”

When the DNC’s Resolutions Committee brought up a resolution commemorating Pelosi’s years as speaker of the House, Pelosi’s daughter sought to alter the proposal at her mother’s behest, adding some of the accomplishments that the elder Pelosi felt the committee had overlooked.

And God help Mr. Nanner if he ever comes home from the market with Jim Beam.

“I have some friendly amendments,” said Christine Pelosi, a political strategist, at the committee’s session during the DNC Winter Meeting at the Marriott Wardman Park hotel Thursday afternoon. She is a member of the committee.

Around Christmas, Nanner probably tells her family, “Just give me lots of money.  I’m sick of the crap you people always buy me.”

“You think I’m kidding,” Christine Pelosi added, to surprised laughter from the room. The proposed changes, she indicated, came out of a discussion with her mother.

When Nanner wins her Nobel Peace Prize, she’s going to open her Oslo acceptance speech with, “Let’s get one thing straight.  That medal’s going to have to be twice as big and you’re going to have to come up with four times the scratch.  Oh, and you stupid Vikings are going to have to pick up my first-class jet fare home.”

LIKE FINGERNAILS ON A CHALKBOARD

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

You know what really deep-fries Gloria Borger’s Montana tendergroins?  Principles:

Most convinced of their task are the 87 House Republican newcomers. They are not awestruck by Washington. (A good thing.) They are not remotely humbled by the hallowed and marbled halls. (Still good.) Instead, they come with the arrogance of absolute conviction. (Dangerous.) Here’s the mantra: We were sent here to cut the budget, and that is what we intend to do. Period.

Damn politicians, doing what they said they would do.  Who do they think they are?

PAYBACK

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 10 Comments

A little something for that insufferable greenie friend of yours:

Unpublished Government research suggests the plastic carrier may not be an eco villain after all – but, whisper it, an unsung hero. Hated by environmentalists and shunned by shoppers, the disposable plastic bag is piling up in a shame-filled corner of retail history. But a draft report by the Environment Agency, obtained by the Independent on Sunday, has found that ordinary high density polythene (HDPE) bags used by shops are actually greener than supposedly low impact choices.

HDPE bags are, for each use, almost 200 times less damaging to the climate than cotton hold-alls favoured by environmentalists, and have less than one third of the Co2 emissions than paper bags which are given out by retailers such as Primark.

The findings suggest that, in order to balance out the tiny impact of each lightweight plastic bag, consumers would have to use the same cotton bag every working day for a year, or use paper bags at least thrice rather than sticking them in the bin or recycling.

CIVILITY

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Yesterday, some union people protested outside the offices of a conservative group called FreedomWorks.  A young woman named Tabitha Hale filmed this encounter:

And if you’re thinking of giving me the one about how the guy had a camera right in his face, this was an obvious provocation, what did you expect, I have a three-word reply for you.  Don’t go there.  Know what I do if someone is taking pictures of me when I don’t want them to?  I walk away.

HOT AND BOTHERED

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 16 Comments

Don’t look now but there may be a brand new group for Episcopalians to kiss up to:

Ever since Madonna planted that wet kiss on Britney Spears in front of millions of television viewers at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, women have been loosening up sexually with other women.

These so-called flexisexuals say that although they are not gay or even bisexual, they enjoy flirting and kissing girls — but they still enjoy having sex with men.

Experts say they may be influenced by the growing visibility of same-sex couples and more open attitudes about sex in general.

Flexisexual is also known as heteroflexible, pansexual or queer, all subtle variations that mean they are not closing any doors.

Let’s see.  Jesus never said anything about it, Scripture writers didn’t know what we know now, Jesus never turned anyone away, all-inclusive love of God, etc.  Yeah, it might work and it’s worth a shot.  Vague, Ambiguous Deity Concept knows, TEO’s homosexual fling has been a financial disaster.

SCHADENFREUDE

Thursday, February 24th, 2011 | Uncategorized | 22 Comments

Yo, Planned Parenthood.  How does this taste?

MAXIM

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011 | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give a fish a spaceship and he’ll yell “It’s a trap!” ALL THE FRIGGING TIME.

JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011 | Uncategorized | 23 Comments

I don’t see this ending well:

The community organizer who became president has launched a massive pre-reelection year campaign to assemble and train an army of new community organizers to carry Obama’s “movement forward for years to come.”

Strengthening “our democracy” presumably has something to do with reelecting the revered leader in 2012.

However, the Organizing for America recruiting message says nothing about politics or election campaigns and strangely talks in military terms of “a grassroots program that aims to put boots on the ground and help foster a new generation of leaders — not just to help win elections but to strengthen our democracy in communities across the country.”

The message about what it calls the “Summer Organizing Fellowship” adds: “Effective organizing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It takes commitment, time, and hard work to build a movement around a cause.” It does not specify what the “cause” is, other than promoting Obama and his agenda

News of the community organizer drive went out in an e-mail to millions of supporters and past donors Tuesday night by the ongoing arm of the Obama campaign, Organizing for America.

It appealed for workers of all ages to volunteer to undergo professional organizational training this summer for stationing in communities all over the nation to drive President Obama’s social and political agenda.

The cadres “will be assigned to a specific community,” the message informs, “where they’ll work to organize supporters street by street, neighborhood by neighborhood.”

Their job will involve recruiting additional Obama workers, running Obama-related events, knocking on doors to talk of Obama “and lay new groundwork to carry this movement forward for years to come.”

“Good evening, sir.  I wonder if I might have a few moments of your time.”

“No, since my wife just put dinner on the table and my kids would like to start eating.”

“What are you having?”

“My wife’s meatloaf.  She makes it with turkey sausage.”

“Can I have some?  It’ll save me from having to make dinner or eat out somewhere.”

“No.”

“Oh, well, then, this won’t take too long.”

“It’s taken too long already and I really have to…”

“I’d like to discuss our president.  Don’t you agree that President Obama has done an awesome job and deserves to be reelected?”

“Sure if by ‘awesome,’ you mean worthless and incompetent.”

“Worthless and…”

“I mean, the guy’s party rammed through a 2,800-page health care bill he didn’t even read.  Nobody knows what it will do or how much it will cost.”

“Sir, I…”

“The guy’s spending my money like a drunken president.  Trillion-dollar deficits as far as the eye can see.”

“That’s debatable.  But I’m sure you’ll agree that this country’s international prestige has never been higher.”

“I’m sure I won’t agree to anything that boneheaded.  The guy stabbed the British in the back to get a stupid arms treaty.  The Germans know he’s in over his head and the French called him out almost from the start.”

“Sir, that’s not…”

“His brain-dead and useless administration got caught completely flat-footed on the Middle East.  He voted ‘Present’ on Libya and it’s pretty clear that nobody in that part of the world, or much of anywhere else, for that matter, respects the guy.”

“Well what would you prefer?!!”

“I’m standing right next to you, dude.”

“Do you want to go back to the failed policies of the previous eight years?!!”

“Well, yeah, now that you mention it.  Be nice to have grown-ups running the country again.  Compared to Obama, George W. Bush is Abraham Lincoln while Obama would have to improve to be James Buchanan.”

“Er…uh…sorry I yelled.  But with all due respect, sir…are you a racist?”

“Here it comes.”

“It’s a legitimate question.  Because all you’ve said sounds like something a racist would say.”

“Actually, calling someone a racist just because they prefer to live in the real world sounds like something a stupid person would say.”

“I resent that!  Are you one of those racist teabaggers or something, you racist?!”

“I’m a non-racist Tea Partier.  Teabagging sounds like the sort of activity your side gets a particular kick out of.  But tell me something.  I assume you got some kind of training before they sent you out annoying people.”

“Of course.”

“Did you get trained on dealing with having doors slammed in your face?”

“No.  Why on earth would anyone train…”

“Well, then here’s your first lesson.” SLAM!!

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