Archive for November, 2010
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 26 Comments
When you don’t care enough to pretend to send the very best:
The average American uses more clean, potable water with one toilet flush than many individuals in the Global South have access to in a day. And so, with this fact firmly in mind, it was on a sunny afternoon in early November that I found myself with a group of 27 seminarians and others by a pond on the campus of Duke University in Durham, North Carolina.
We were there to demonstrate solidarity with the 884 million people worldwide who lack access to clean water, by scooping buckets full of water, propping them up on our heads and walking the half-mile walk back to the chapel. There, the Rev. Jo Bailey Wells, director of the Anglican/Episcopal House of Studies at Duke, blessed the water for use as part of an evening prayer service where we recommitted ourselves to our baptismal vows.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 21 Comments
There’s not much you can do with an opening like this:
Members of Germany’s gay community were outraged Tuesday after a pair of homosexual vultures were forcibly parted and made to mate with females.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 18 Comments
Somebody named Tamie Fields Hawkins has some ideas about how to attract Young PeopleTM to church. First off, teh gheys aren’t sinning, thanks very much, so stop saying that they are:
Stop arguing about whether gay people are okay, fully human, or whatever else. Seriously. Stop it.
Stop worrying about what Scripture actually says…
Stop looking for the “objective truth” in Scripture.
… and start deciding what you need Scripture to mean.
Start looking for the beautiful truth in Scripture.
If you’re a fundie, keep your ignorant mouth shut since you’re like a moron and stuff.
Actually read the Scriptures. If you are Episcopalian, go buy a Bible and read it. Start in Genesis, it’s pretty cool. You can skip some of the other boring parts in the Bible. Remember though that almost every book of the Bible has some really funky stuff in it. Remember to keep #5 and #6 in mind though. If you are evangelical, you may need to stop reading the Bible for about 10 years. Don’t worry: during those ten years you can work on putting these other steps into practice.
Start worrying about stuff that concerns me actual sins instead of who Gene Robinson does in his off-hours.
Start worrying about extreme poverty, violence against women, racism, consumerism, and the rate at which children are dying worldwide of preventable, treatable diseases. Put all the energy you formerly spent worrying about the legit-ness of gay people into figuring out ways to do some good in these areas.
Even though Jesus never directly said anything about any of that. Above all, lose that “way, truth, life” garbage.
Remind yourself that you don’t have to take God to anyone. God is already with everyone. So, rather than taking the approach that you need to take the truth out to people who need it, adopt the approach that you need to go find the truth that others have and you are missing. Go be evangelized.
Look how well it’s working for the Episcopal religion.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 16 Comments
Not too many people know about this but 29 New Zealand coal miners could use some serious prayer right about now.
UPDATE: Worst possible news. So keep praying.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 27 Comments
|Leo Sayer – You Make Me feel Like Dancing .mp3|
|Found at bee mp3 search engine|
Sarah Palin is an absolute genius. There’s just no other way to describe her. Aside from Ronald Reagan, I can’t think of anyone with the ability to effortlessly drive the left absolutely bat crap. All you have to do is say her last name, stand back and watch liberals foam at the mouth.
Case in point: there’s this television show called Dancing with the Stars. Apparently, a bunch of stars go out and dance around and stuff. Then the public votes on who has to go home. Next week, they repeat the process until there’s only one star left who’s declared the winner.
Seems that Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol is one of the “stars” in this year’s edition. It also seems that she’s not all that great of a dancer but she’s still around. A fact which prompted the Washington Post’s Sally Quinn to use her “On Faith” column space to make an absolute jackass of herself:
When Bristol Palin started dancing I was charmed by her spirit and her playfulness and her willingness to go up against much better competitors. She was obviously not going to last more than three weeks at best. Then, despite getting the lowest scores from the judges, she kept coming back.
She lasted three weeks, then four. This was getting uncomfortable. She hadn’t made a fool of herself and she did improve considerably, but when she knocked out 76-year-old Florence Henderson, who was a much better dancer (and talk about guts!) I began to get upset. This didn’t seem fair.
The final straw was when Brandy – a fabulous dancer — was eliminated last week. She was definitely my runner up. (Jennifer has to win. She’s head and shoulders above everyone else.) We were having a dinner party and I made my guests leave the table to watch the final half of DWTS. Norman Lear was with us. Norman is not a DWTS follower but got caught up in the moment too. As the music started and I waited breathlessly to see Bristol be told she was out. I was squeezing Norman’s hand when Brandy, not Bristol, was sent home. I couldn’t believe it. Neither could the judges and studio audience. Derek and Jennifer’s mouths dropped open. Boos could be heard.
It seemed Bristol and her partner were just as surprised. Brandy cried. I have to confess I teared up. It just didn’t seem right.
Sally? Kitten? In 2002, my Rams lost Super Bowl XXXVI to the New England Patriots. In 2004, my Cardinals were swept by the Bahstun Red Sawks in the World Series(Massachusetts really had it in for Missouri last decade).
Both of those were actual competitions that people actually care about. And I’ve got to tell you, sweetcakes, I took both those losses a hell of a lot better than you’re taking this fake competition doohickey.
I wondered what I would do if I were Sarah Palin and my daughter were in this situation. Bristol is clearly getting votes she would never have gotten had she not been Sarah Palin’s daughter. Those who think they are doing the right thing by doing wrong are only hurting her. They are putting her in a vulnerable position to be vilified by her mother’s enemies.
Perhaps Sarah Palin could say to her supporters that she hopes the stories of rigging the vote aren’t true; that she doesn’t approve of cheating and may the best person win. Whatever the reasons for this, it has left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, not only for the perception of dishonesty, but because of the perceived determination of Palin”s supporters to do anything they have to do to help their candidate.
You know what they say. Let she who isn’t getting schtupped up the va-jay-jay on a regular basis by Ben Bradlee cast the first stone.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Monday, November 22nd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 13 Comments
I’m sure you two have a lot of catching up to do:
Controversial American Anglican bishop Gene Robinson condemned Dr Rowan Williams for failing to stop internal rows over the ordination of women and gay priests.
Can’t argue with that too much. Once showing the Episcopalians the door was taken off the table, Dr. Williams’ options were extremely limited.
‘I have clergy friends who literally studied at Archbishop Williams’ feet and who have said to me it is almost as if aliens have come and taken Rowan away from us.
‘They have left something that looks like him but we don’t recognise him any more.’
Yeah. Sure you have. Robbie, if I’m you, I never EVER use that particular analogy for any reason ever again. Never again, Robbie. At all. Period.
But [Robinson] added:’ I’m not at all sure that his attempts to hold us together as a communion at all costs is the kind of leadership that this time calls for.’
Bishop Robinson claimed Dr Williams had been tougher on the American church and demanded a ‘higher standard’ than in other parts of the world.
Really want to go there Robbie? Among other things, Dr. Williams allowed the spurious issue of “boundary crossing” into the Anglican debate. He personally eviscerated the Dar es Salaam primates communiqué. He invited the Americans and Canadians to the Lambeth Conference as if 2003 had never happened and gamed the conference so the controversy wouldn’t and couldn’t be solved.
If that’s holding the Episcopal Organization to a “higher standard,” you no doubt would have screamed bloody murder if my gracious lord of Canterbury had actually taken the problem seriously and had done something constructive to solve it.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Monday, November 22nd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments
US House of Representatives? Considering the size of the Obama deficits, it wouldn’t save all that much scratch but defunding these douchebags would be a good start:
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Monday, November 22nd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 14 Comments
Most people who have actually read it realize that the proposed Anglican Covenant is far too weak and tepid to adequately deal with the fundametal problem in the Anglican Communion. But that view may need to be seriously rethought considering how bat crap it’s driving Episcolibs like Jim Naughton:
Perhaps the greatest failing of the covenant, however, is not technical but spiritual. The covenant is blind to evil within the church, and the extent to which the church participates in the evils of the world. Put aside for the moment the fact that at a time when poverty and disease are rampant, the earth is warming at a potentially cataclysmic pace, and war ravages much of the planet, the leaders of our Communion are unwilling to move on until the Americans are brought to heel on the issue of homosexuality. Focus instead on the simple fact that much of the evil in our world exists because it serves the self interest of powerful people and powerful institutions. These are people who can always arrange for a fuss to be made on their behalf—who can always claim that any attempt to rectify the balance of power in this world “tears at the fabric” of whatever community has summoned the fortitude to challenge their dominance. The covenant is a handy tool for maintaining the status quo—for making certain that the meek never come into the inheritance that Jesus promised them. The issue may be homosexuality today, but what is at stake is the ability of churches in the Anglican Communion to challenge injustice when it is in the interest of other churches in the Communion to support it.
Jim? If you’re not too busy, read Acts 15 some time. And while you’re doing that, reflect on the term “accountability.”
Two things, slick. American Anglicans do not have a direct line to the Almighty; the Word of the living God is not whatever politically correct crap pops into John Chane’s, Katharine Jefferts Schori’s or J. Jon Bruno’s theologically-illiterate heads.
Do you think the wider church ought to change its mind on what Gene Robinson does in his off-hours? You might want to run it by the wider church first.
What if the wider church doesn’t buy your arguments? If you had the least amount of integrity, you’d realize that you have two options. Admit that you might be wrong or be willing to walk away from the Communion while telling yourself that you’re “prophetic.”
But if I were you, I wouldn’t go anywhere near concepts like “evil within the church” and how the “the church participates in the evils of the world.” Because to many of us on my side of the argument, that is precisely what the Episcopal Organization’s been doing for at least the last thirty years.
Give or take.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Sunday, November 21st, 2010 | Uncategorized | 43 Comments
Quick question. Has the Obama Administration ordered you to deliberately destroy this country’s airline industry or something?
A retired special education teacher on his way to a wedding in Orlando, Fla., said he was left humiliated, crying and covered with his own urine after an enhanced pat-down by TSA officers recently at Detroit Metropolitan Airport.
“I was absolutely humiliated, I couldn’t even speak,” said Thomas D. “Tom” Sawyer, 61, of Lansing, Mich.
Sawyer is a bladder cancer survivor who now wears a urostomy bag, which collects his urine from a stoma, or opening in his stomach. “I have to wear special clothes and in order to mount the bag I have to seal a wafer to my stomach and then attach the bag. If the seal is broken, urine can leak all over my body and clothes.”
On Nov. 7, Sawyer said he went through the security scanner at Detroit Metropolitan Airport. “Evidently the scanner picked up on my urostomy bag, because I was chosen for a pat-down procedure.”
Due to his medical condition, Sawyer asked to be screened in private. “One officer looked at another, rolled his eyes and said that they really didn’t have any place to take me,” said Sawyer. “After I said again that I’d like privacy, they took me to an office.”
Sawyer wears pants two sizes too large in order to accommodate the medical equipment he wears. He’d taken off his belt to go through the scanner and once in the office with security personnel, his pants fell down around his ankles. “I had to ask twice if it was OK to pull up my shorts,” said Sawyer, “And every time I tried to tell them about my medical condition, they said they didn’t need to know about that.”
Before starting the enhanced pat-down procedure, a security officer did tell him what they were going to do and how they were going to it, but Sawyer said it wasn’t until they asked him to remove his sweatshirt and saw his urostomy bag that they asked any questions about his medical condition.
“One agent watched as the other used his flat hand to go slowly down my chest. I tried to warn him that he would hit the bag and break the seal on my bag, but he ignored me. Sure enough, the seal was broken and urine started dribbling down my shirt and my leg and into my pants.”
The security officer finished the pat-down, tested the gloves for any trace of explosives and then, Sawyer said, “He told me I could go. They never apologized. They never offered to help. They acted like they hadn’t seen what happened. But I know they saw it because I had a wet mark.”
Humiliated, upset and wet, Sawyer said he had to walk through the airport soaked in urine, board his plane and wait until after takeoff before he could clean up.
Mother pus bucket.
My father had colitis. Long story short, it cost him a fair amount of his large intestine, he had to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of his life and it basically killed the relationship between the two of us. I’m just glad he died in 2001.
In May, 2007, I had prostate cancer surgery so I had to have a Foley catheter in me for a week(look it up; I ain’t going there). It’s damn lucky that that wasn’t a week ago and that I didn’t have to fly anywhere. Because if I’d have been this Sawyer, I’d be in jail because some TSA guy would have a broken jaw.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Saturday, November 20th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 15 Comments
It pains me to admit this but there is one argument against the existence of the Christian God that is almost unanswerable. If God is truly good and truly cares about His creation and everyone in it, how could someone as bone-crushingly stupid as Kathleen Parker possibly get both a syndicated column and a CNN gig?
PARKER: But, you know, Eliot, let’s remember, too- a lot of Americans did come through the back door-
PARKER: Such as Alexander Hamilton.
PARKER: He got off the boat from the West Indies, and all he did was write the Constitution and become the first Secretary of the Treasury.
Katie bear? Quick question. Were you born that dumb? Or did you and your girlfriends regularly hit the chronic back behind the stables at your finishing school?
Alexander Hamilton was born on the island of Nevis in the British West Indies, a British colony at the time. He attended King’s College(now Columbia University) in New York, another British colony at the time. There was nothing whatsoever illegal or unusual about that, Katie bear.
Remember. Sarah Palin is the moron. Sar-ah Pa-lin.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Saturday, November 20th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 11 Comments
You can add Simon Sarmiento to the long list of Anglicans who have apparently not gotten around to reading Acts 15:
Everyone agrees that the Anglican Communion is in a bit of a mess. Having a covenant will not reduce the mess one jot. And the IC/MC campaign has lucidly explained exactly why it will probably make it worse.
Historical context is crucial to understanding opponents’ fears: this covenant was a key recommendation of the 2004 Windsor report, whose premise was that Gene Robinson should never have been elected as bishop of New Hampshire. From the start, the objective was to oblige local churches to defer to “worldwide Anglican consensus” rather than responding to local circumstances in accordance with local needs.
Translation: reinterpreting 2,000 years of Church teaching just so some self-selected pressure group won’t feel bad.
In other words, conservatives reject the covenant because it isn’t punitive enough.
“Gospel mandate” and “confession of faith” means “If you don’t agree with us, we won’t consider you a true Christian”.
Spare me. When your “theology” permits you to pick and choose what sins Jesus died for(assuming you still accept that concept) and is deliberately and defiantly at odds with the teachings of just about every other Christian church, Protestant, Catholic or Orthodox, in the entire world, the seriousness with which you take the Christian religion can legitimately be called into question.
Asked if he thought the covenant would become a reality, the former bishop of Durham, Tom Wright, recently said: “I think so, because I don’t think really there’s any alternative.” Without it, he argued, “the loudest voices tend to win, or at least drown out the other ones, and I have seen that happen and it’s not a pretty sight”.
But responding to the loudest voices was exactly what the Windsor report did – capitulating to Nigeria, Uganda, Sydney and the others – to propose a covenant that establishes a formal procedure to block other Anglicans doing what they judge necessary for the Gospel.
That’s one way of looking at it. The correct view, of course, is that the Windsor Report was a tepid response to two North American provinces arrogantly and unilaterally changing Anglican teaching and theology, not giving a crap what the rest of the Communion thought about it but still wanting to call themselves Anglicans. And the reason why the Covenant is so weak is that Rowan Williams wants to keep American money flowing.
Simon? Since you haven’t read it, here’s how Acts 15 starts out:
But some men came down from Judea and were teaching the brothers, “Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.” And after Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and debate with them,
Paul was an apostle, Simon. He had seen the Risen Lord and had been personally commissioned by Him. So what did Paul do?
Paul and Barnabas and some of the others were appointed to go up to Jerusalem to the apostles and the elders about this question.
Which he did. The question was put to the whole church, cases were made for and against and a decision was rendered. Be sure to read the rest of it, Simon. Particularly the part about how the Gentile believers were to abstain from sexual immorality Then pass it on to Gene Robinson when you finish.
Why did Paul go to all that trouble? He didn’t have to; he was an apostle, chosen by God Himself, who had seen the risen Christ just as the other apostles had and he didn’t have to defer to them. But he did anyway. Know why, Simon?
Because Paul, an apostle, chosen by God Himself, who had seen the risen Christ, knew that he possessed an important trait that scares modern western Anglicans to death.
Paul was thinking about the whole church, Simon, as well as the Gospel he was appointed to proclaim. “Local circumstances” and “local needs” didn’t enter into his thinking. The Gospel of Jesus Christ did regardless of local opinion.
Truth is true regardless of what anyone thinks about it.
“The only way forward is to establish the principle that these are issues on which it is OK for Anglicans to disagree with each other. And carry on talking?” Please.
The only thing that’s a “way forward” to is making Anglicanism even more intellectually incoherent than it already is. Something would sinful based on “local circumstances” or “local needs?”
Do you have any idea how idiotic that sounds?
Besides, Simon, you and I both know that the North Americans have no intention of ever backing down from their innovations. The only thing all this talking you think we should be doing is designed to do is to get traditionalist Anglicans to admit that they’re wrong.
When one side has decided in advance that it’s right and will brook no opposition, more talking is a waste of time. People prefer churches that actually know how to decide things once in a great while.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Saturday, November 20th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 21 Comments
Speaking of circling the drain…no, seriously, those progressive Christians due to flood into Episcopal churches because of Gene Robinson are JUSSSSSSSSSST about there:
The Episcopal Church continues in its course of a steep decline in the wake of its divisions over doctrine and discipline, with the national office reporting that in 2009 average Sundayattendance (ASA) fell by three percent to 682,963.
That’s why 815 is putting so much money into those lawsuits. They’re going to need someplace to put all those people.
As of the end of 2009, the Episcopal Church reported having 2,006,343 active members
Half of those can be identified by their empty church pew disguises. [Okay, Johnson, that was completely uncalled for! – Ed]
at its peak in the 1960s the Church counted over 3.5million members. The church shed 22,294 members in 2009, following a loss of 22,565 in 2008. Income from parochial giving also declined by 2.8 per cent last year, falling to £1.33 billion.
The reason why all those new members haven’t arrived yet is that they’ve been slowed down by all those repairs they’re doing on the interstate. Hey, which one of us hasn’t been, am I right? But they’re coming.
Haiti remains the largest Diocese inthe church with 83,698 members, followed in size by Texas, Virginia and Massachusetts. The smallest Diocese remains Venezuela with 792 members.The Church’s largest parish remains St Martin’s Episcopal Church in Houston with 8,311 members, while 126 congregations have less than 10 active members.
In fact, I think I can see them coming right now!! Yesssss!! TOLD YOU!! No, wait, those are Pentecostals, Baptists and Catholics. Never mind.
The median average Sunday worship attendance for the Episcopal Church’s 6,895 churches fell to 66. The numbers show a cumulative loss of over 19.3 per cent in ASA from 2002-2009, Canon Kendall Harmon of the Diocese of South Carolina noted.
So what? When all those progs get here, they’ll have plenty of room.
“This is a cataclysmic decline that suggests the immediate need for an all-hands-on-deck leadership summit focusing entirely on the issue of evangelism and parish health. Not only is the TEC leadership not doing this, the fact that they are not doing it is not even bothering them — a truly tragic situation,” Canon Harmon noted.
Kendall, Kendall, Kendall. You’re not quite grasping the concept here, Canon. Do you know why the Inverted Jenny is such an expensive stamp? Mainly because there aren’t that many of them.
It’s basic economics. Something there’s a lot of is a whole lot less valuable than something that’s rare. Coarse sea salt and diamonds are both crystals but you have to take out a loan to buy the second whereas you can buy the first any time you want.
By intentionally keeping their numbers down and not trying to get more people to join TEO, each individual Episcopalian automatically becomes more valuable, more sought-after and more prestigious than individual Catholics, Baptists or Pentecostals thus automatically drawing in all those secular leftists who are JUSSSSSSSSSST about to arrive. See how that works?
Economics. Your best education value. Explains pretty much everything, really.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, November 19th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 23 Comments
According to Joe Biden, the reason why Barack Obama can’t seem to connect with the American people is because he’s a big effing genius or something:
I think what it is, is he’s so brilliant. He is an intellectual.
But you do have to consider the source. As Jim Treacher put it:
By way of analogy, Biden calling Obama brilliant is much like a goldfish calling…well, calling Obama brilliant.
So there’s that.
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, November 19th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 24 Comments
The Vancouver City Council voted unanimously Tuesday to back a controversial federal private members bill seeking to criminalize “discrimination” against the gender-confused.
The motion, brought forward by Councillor Ellen Woodsworth, supported New Democrat MP Bill Siksay’s Bill C-389, which aims to add “gender identity” and “gender expression” as prohibited grounds for discrimination to the Canada Human Rights Act and as identifiable groups in the Criminal Code’s hate crimes legislation.
The motion was offered in support of the “transgendered and transsexual residents, cross-dressers, drag kings/queens, transsexuals, androgynes, Two-Spirit people, gender variant, gender queer, and people who are bi-gendered, multi-gendered or otherwise identified.”
Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, November 19th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 13 Comments
Don’t hold me to this but I think my hopefully soon-to-be former senator was trying to be funny here:
Sen. Claire McCaskill of Missouri said prior to Pistole’s testimony that she believed TSA was in a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, because people would be hopping mad at TSA if Christmas bomber Umar Farouk Adbulmutallab had succeeded. She went on to say the new advanced imaging technology–which has caused uproar because of its leave-no-secrets imaging and potential health risks–is more of a blessing than a curse.
“I’m wildly excited that I can walk through a machine instead of getting my dose of love pats,” Sen. McCaskill said.
Hopefully, Claire will forgive Cathy Bossi of Charlotte, North Carolina for not laughing.
A flight attendant and cancer survivor said she was forced to remove and show her prosthetic breast to a TSA agent during a security pat-down.
Cathy Bossi of Charlotte, who has been a flight attendant for the past 32 years, told CBS Affiliate WBTV that in August she was asked to go through the new full-body scanners at Charlotte Douglas International Airport.
As a 3-year breast cancer survivor Bossi said she didn’t want the added radiation through her body, but reluctantly agreed.
“The TSA agent told me to put my ID on my back,” Boss told WBTV correspondent Molly Grantham. “When I got out of there, she said because my ID was on my back, I had to go to a personal screening area.”
Bossi was taken to a private room where two female Charlotte TSA agents began what she calls an “aggressive” pat-down.
Bossi said the exam halted when they got around to feeling her right breast – the one where she’d had surgery.
“She put her full hand on my breast and said, ‘What is this?’ Bossi recalled. “And I said, ‘It’s my prosthesis because I’ve had breast cancer.’ And she said, ‘Well, you’ll need to show me that.'”
Bossi was asked to remove her prosthetic breast from her bra and show it to the agent.
UPDATE: Charles Krauthammer.
That riff is a crowd-pleaser because everyone knows that the entire apparatus of the security line is a national homage to political correctness. Nowhere do more people meekly acquiesce to more useless inconvenience and needless indignity for less purpose. Wizened seniors strain to untie their shoes; beltless salesmen struggle comically to hold up their pants; 3-year-olds scream while being searched insanely for explosives – when everyone, everyone, knows that none of these people is a threat to anyone.
The ultimate idiocy is the full-body screening of the pilot. The pilot doesn’t need a bomb or box cutter to bring down a plane. All he has to do is drive it into the water, like the EgyptAir pilot who crashed his plane off Nantucket while intoning “I rely on God,” killing all on board.
But we must not bring that up. We pretend that we go through this nonsense as a small price paid to ensure the safety of air travel. Rubbish. This has nothing to do with safety – 95 percent of these inspections, searches, shoe removals and pat-downs are ridiculously unnecessary. The only reason we continue to do this is that people are too cowed to even question the absurd taboo against profiling – when the profile of the airline attacker is narrow, concrete, uniquely definable and universally known. So instead of seeking out terrorists, we seek out tubes of gel in stroller pouches.