PRESSER

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Bishop Schori

Katharine Jefferts Schori walked out and stood behind the Church Center podium.  “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” she said to the assembled press corps.  “I’m Katharine Jefferts Schori, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church. 

“As you know, Bishop Empty Coke Bottle is currently on his Kirkwood, Missouri honeymoon with the Rev. Empty Bottle Of Château Mouton Rothschild 1982 so I’ll be handing things today. But even if he hadn’t been, I wanted to tell you this news myself.  Yes?”

“Bishop Schori?” asked CNN’s Miles O’Brien.  “Are you going to insult and abuse us?  Bishop Bottle usually does before he starts these things.”

“Heavens no!” Schori replied, genuinely surprised.  “I think it’s cruel to make fun of the mentally challenged.  Anyway, the Episcopal Church has a major announcement to make after which I’ll take questions.

“Inspired by our beloved President Barack Obama and in an effort to reach out to and reconcile with our Anglican Communion brothers and sisters who have been offended by our actions in recent years, we would like to announce the Pennies for Parishes program.

“We know we are taking a major step but somebody has to reach out and we’re willing to.  Basically, it works like this.  If any group trying to steal our property agrees to immediately cease all legal action and vacate our buildings, they will receive a voucher from us good for $50 toward the purchase of a new building for one of their little conventicle things or whatever it is that those people do.

“I’ll take questions now.  Yes, Helen Thomas?” Schori asked, smiling.  The Bishop was proud of the fact that the legendary reporter was attending this press conference.

An uncomfortable silence followed.  Finally, NBC’s Brian Williams spoke up.  “Bishop Schori?  Helen Thomas has been dead for 175 years, give or take.  We just keep what’s left of her around for sentimental reasons.  Wouldn’t be a presser without ol’ Helen propped up in the front there.”

“What?!!  But I’ve heard her ask questions quite recently!”

“One of us crouches down behind her and fakes her voice.”

“Good gracious!  What happened?!  How did such a beloved American institution die?!”

“Boinking John Tyler, maybe?  How should I know?  Anyway, I wanted to ask you why the Episcopal Church decided to implement this program.”

“I’m glad you asked that, Brian.  At the Lambeth Conference, my colleagues and I were told by Archbishop Rowan and several Negro bishops that some kind of grand gesture demonstrating the Episcopal Church’s committment to the Anglican Communion beyond a shadow of a doubt should be made.

“And we think this more than fulfills their request.  Yes?”

“Lisa Daniels, NBC.  $50 towards a new building seems a little…well, cheap to me.  I could probably find fifty dollars in my sofa cushions after I get home tonight.”

“You have to understand, Ms. Daniels, that our efforts to recover our property from these schismatics has cost us a great deal of money.  We think we are being more than fair.  Yes?”

“Adam Housley, Fox News.  Bishop Schori, you called conservative Anglicans schismatics just now.  But aren’t you a schismatic yourself?  You know, Henry VIII and all?

“I don’t understand what you mean.  Yes, over there.”

“Paula Loughlin, MCJ.  Will the Episcopal Church be the ones redeeming these vouchers?”

“Um…uh…no.  No we…uh…no we will not.  Next?”

“John King, CNN.  Who will be redeeming them?”

“Some…someone.”

“Who?”

“We are sure that…someone…will redeem these vouchers at…some point in the…future.”

“So let me get this straight,” said ABC’s Jake Tapper.  “You expect conservative Anglican parishes to immediately cease all legal efforts to protect what they see as their property in return for a worthless scrap of paper?”

“Well, that’s an excessively harsh way of putting it, Jake, and I don’t think that you given us enough credit for our…”

“Is that why you decided to call this program Chump Change for Churches?  Because you’d have to be a chump to participate in it?”

“It’s not called that, Jake, it’s called…”

“Bishop Schori?” asked NBC’s Lisa Daniels.  “When is Bishop Bottle coming back from his honeymoon?”

“I have no idea when…”

“You don’t know where they’re registered, do you?” asked Fox’s Adam Housely.  “A lot of us want to go in on a belated gift.”

“I don’t really…why are you asking me this?”

“Bishop Empty Coke Bottle may be a miserable son of a bitch and he may treat us like crap,” explained Paula Loughlin, “but he can lie through his teeth with a whole lot more flair than you can.  Plus he always provides free booze.”

FORGIVENESS

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 25 Comments

On the House of Bishops and Deputies listserv, two deputies are appalled, just APPALLED, that so many people are outraged about Scotland’s release of the Lockerbie bomber, a man responsible for the deaths of 270 innocent men, women and children:

All, think out loud w/ me on this: the release by Scotland of the Lockerbie bomber. I’m amazed at the virulent reaction. My first thought: Scotland’s justice minister did a Christlike act in releasing the person who had committed such a heinous act and is now facing death himself. I’m surprised at the uproar/calls for revenge/let-the-bomber-rot response. I agree that the hero’s welcome back in Libya was inappropriate. But your thoughts on the release? WWJD? Who can preach on this?

I agree, except that even the hero’s welcome makes sense to those who believe he was a scapegoat of Western imperialism and persecution. I am deeply saddened by the vitriol and lack of any understanding that refusal to forgive simply binds the harm more securely to the victims. Read “Forgiving the Dead Man Walking” the true story of the young woman whose testimony convicted the man Helen Prejean counseled in the movie of the similar name (and prior book, of course). The story of darkness she tells is one of living with unforgiveness. Wildly powerful and something IMHO that every Christian should read to understand the depth of God’s call to forgive as we have been forgiven.

Sadly, the same vitriol and unChristian attitude was at work after Columbine. A man made 15 crosses to commemorate the dead, but the two that represented the perpetrators were repeatedly torn down by angry citizens. Of all the ways we have failed to proclaim the Good News of God’s forgiving love, I think this failure is the most egregious. What further grief we must bring to God!

Greg Griffith takes the ladies to school.

You want me to “think out loud,” Judy? You want to know who can “preach on this”?

Fine. Here goes.

It may be simply that you ladies have no concept of what justice really is. That would make sense given the fact that for you, normalizing sodomy as a “justice issue,” but I’m not sure that completely explains their blind spot regarding Al Megrahi’s release.

Perhaps it’s because they don’t understand that Al Megrahi’s time served – it works out to about 11 days per victim – doesn’t come close to meeting the terms of fair punishment. Perhaps it’s because they don’t think he should have been punished at all, in which case it’s tempting to wish they had had a son or daughter or “life partner” on Pan Am flight 103 that day, just so the world would be spared two more blithering idiots on the subject.

Perhaps it’s because they don’t understand the concept of Christian forgiveness, which would also make sense, given that on almost all other matters of Christian theology and doctrine they have such a wild misunderstanding. Christian forgiveness begins with the wrongdoer asking for forgiveness. Al Megrahi has never done so, in fact has never expressed any remorse for his crime. Had he ever done that, talk of forgiveness would have been in order; but it doesn’t follow that because we might forgive him we should also release him. That seems to be a distinction entirely lost on the Judy Starks and Zoe Coles of the world. Did you commit a crime? Then we forgive you, and now you may go free. What did you do? Kill 270 by blowing up an airplane? No matter – back home with you, and enjoy the rest of your life.

If you’re curious by now why I haven’t tagged this post as off-topic, it’s because it’s not. The loss of moral grounding – the incapacity of so many in our church’s liberal wing to feel outrage about things by which they should be outraged, such as the release of Al Megrahi; and to be outraged by things that are simply inconsequential, such as the complaints of gays and lesbians over their “place,” is at the heart of the crisis in this church. If there is a problem with “orientation” in this church, it’s with the orientation of the moral compass of people like Judy Stark and Zoe Cole, who will insist that refusing two lesbians’ demands that the church bless their “marriage” is the height of injustice, but releasing Abdelbeset Ali Mohmed al Megrahi to a hero’s welcome in Libya is a shining example of Christian charity. Stark and Cole, sadly, are representative of the people who carry the day by bigger and bigger margins at each successive General Convention.

I’d just add this.  While I am away, someone sneaks into my house and murders my wife and my children in cold blood.  My wife managed to call 911 before she was killed and so the killer was caught leaving my house.

The forensic evidence gathered means that there is no doubt whatsoever that the man apprehended was the one who killed my family.  The man is sentenced to death.  Later, a reporter asks me if I forgive the killer of my family.  “Of course,” I tell him.  “I’m a Christian.”

“So you think he shouldn’t receive the death penalty?”

“That’s a separate issue.  He should receive whatever penalty the state chooses to impose.”

As Griffith demonstrates above, forgiveness for one’s actions does not mean that one should necessarily be freed from the consequences of those actions.  I can forgive you for harming me in some way.  I can even urge the judge to be merciful. 

But none of that requires the judge to let you get away with it.

People died as a result of this man’s actions.  270 of them.  And 11 days per victim is not justice.  Families of the victims can and probably have forgiven this man for his actions while insisting that he finish out his days the same way that they’ll finish out theirs.  Seperated from their loved ones.

These two Episcopal airheads notwithstanding, that is not an un-Christian attitude.  Because that would be justice.  Anything else is not.

INTENDED CONSEQUENCES

Monday, August 24th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 36 Comments

Among the many innovations for which the Episcopal Organization likes to extol itself, the most prominent(before the Episcopalians went on their homosexual bender) was women’s ordination.  Words like “prophetic” were and still are tossed around like so many airhead leftist beach balls.

As we have seen, the ordination of women has not benefited the Episcopal Organization in any way.  TEO’s current period of decline began to pick up speed around 1976 and has not significantly slowed since.  And, observes Alda Marsh Morgan, women’s ordination had a devastating effect on a voiceless group of trained and devoted Episcopalians.

All of them female:

It is interesting to me, as a theologically educated lay woman and a former lay woman church worker, that the observations of the 35th anniversary of women’s ordination are positive. There was nothing from the critics of the action and, while there was acknowledgement that much remained to be done, nothing to suggest that not all the consequences of 1974 and 1976 were positive.

Overnight, “ordination” became the gold standard and hundreds of female lay workers insantly became second-class citizens.

There were few of my church worker colleagues who wished to be ordained, once it became possible, not because they didn’t approve of women priests, but because we felt secure in our own vocation as theologically educated lay professionals. What we found offensive was the complete lack of respect for our own work and vocation on the part of the women who sought ordination and were committed to their own vocations as ordained ministers. Moreover, once ordination became available for women, most of us were no longer able to work in the church. The church’s clericalism saw to that.

That is, when they could find jobs at all.

Many of us felt pushed aside, unappreciated, and — to bring it all home — we had to scramble to find jobs in other sectors or had to fight to find paid work in the church and other ways to continue to express our own vocational calls in ministry. More than a few left the church altogether and even more were embittered or close to despair.

And there were personal costs for Ms. Morgan.

It took me many, many years to accept the fact that I would never again be able to be a full-time campus minister, which had been my vocation. I applied for positions for which I was eminently qualified, but was turned down flat because I wasn’t ordained. I did eventually find other work in theological education and I’m grateful for that, but for years it felt like second-best, a stopgap. Now, of course, I realize that I was — unlike many of my earlier colleagues–fortunate to have found this work and I am deeply committed to it. I finally accepted the fact, but there were years of bitterness and feelings of uselessness.

Remember these workers in the Lord’s vineyard the next time some Episcopal liberal prattles on about the “marginalized.”

KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY…YOU KNOW

Monday, August 24th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 23 Comments

The government wants control over our junk now:

In an effort to reduce the spread of HIV, public health officials are considering the promotion of “universal circumcision” for all baby boys born in the United States.

The move comes after officials analyzed the results of several studies that show in African countries hit hard by HIV, men who were circumcised reduced their infection risk by half, the New York Times reported. However, those studies focused on heterosexual men who are at risk of getting HIV from infected female partners. The main issue in the U.S. is men who have sex with men.

Meanwhile, critics of the recommendation said it subjects newborn boys to “medically unnecessary” surgery without their consent.

But Dr. Peter Kilmarx, chief of epidemiology for the division of HIV/AIDS prevention at the CDC, told the Times that any step that could stop the spread of HIV must be given “serious consideration.”

“We have a significant HIV epidemic in this country, and we really need to look carefully at any potential intervention that could be another tool in the toolbox we use to address the epidemic,” Kilmarx told the newspaper. “What we’ve heard from our consultants is that there would be a benefit for infants from infant circumcision, and that the benefits outweigh the risks.”

DUST TO DUST

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009 | Uncategorized | 25 Comments

Although it’s probably not as devastating for him as another Collingwood loss in a Grand Final would be, Tim Blair could probably benefit from a cyber-hug right about now:

England regained the Ashes after beating Australia by 197 runs Sunday on the fourth day of the deciding fifth test to take the five-match series 2-1.

Michael Hussey was the last man out after tea at The Oval, caught for 121 by Alastair Cook off Graeme Swann as Australia were dismissed for 348, falling well short of the 546 victory target set by England.

Swann claimed 4-120 and Steve Harmison picked up 3-54 but it was two run outs in six balls — including that of captain Ricky Ponting— that put England on the way to victory and sent all-rounder Andrew Flintoff into test cricket retirement as a winner.

Hussey scored his first test century since last October but his 330-minute fighting effort that may have saved his test career was in a losing cause.

I don’t know if this e-mail address still works but it’s the last one I have for Tim.  And no, I don’t have any idea what the above means.

I actually thought about trying this once.  There’s a league around here or there used to be.  Expats mostly but there was the odd American now and then.  And I’m as odd an American as you can get.

One Sunday, I drove over to Forest Park to watch a match.  One of the Americans, who was a good bit older than I was at the time, told me that these things tended to run about five or six hours which is probably why I never followed up.

Still working on introducing crown green bowls to these shores.

YAMMERING

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009 | Uncategorized | 42 Comments

Those of you who’ve been around here for a while know that I have one hard and fast rule about comments.  You can say whatever you want here as long as you’re civilized.  I’ve modified some comments and pulled others that I thought were over the line but for the most part, you can call me anything in the world as long as you’re nice about it.

Adversaries like Tobias Haller and Louie Crew have dropped by from time to time and I’ve made it clear that, (1) abuse of liberal commenters will not be tolerated and, (2) I and I alone would determine would determine what constituted abuse of liberal commenters.

Then there’s the language issue.  I don’t want this to be a place where people indiscriminately drop F-bombs so if you do, your comment will either be edited or deleted.  But that said, I have to admit that there are times when I wonder why I bother:

ELCA Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson said after the vote that he would commit himself to keeping opponents of the new policy within the ELCA fold.

“For those that did not prevail tonight, are you willing to stay engaged in the conversation?” Hanson said. He added, “I’m pleading with people to stay in there with us in this conversation.”

Hannie?  Guess what, dumbass.  The “conversation” is over.  You just decided that unrepentant sinners can be…well, pretty much anything in the Evangelical Lutheran Thing of America. 

So if you think that there’s anything left to talk about, you’re dumber than a collection of Katharine Jefferts Schori sermons, buddy.

Thanks, Katherine.

UPDATE: Hannie?  It’s already started.

Just stepped out in my back yard to find my Lutheran neighbors sitting on their deck drinking coffee. I said: “Headed to church?”. He took another sip. She just looked straight ahead and said: “Nope!”

And then there’s this.

“…for those who are faithful at the foot of Christ’s Cross, something new will emerge on the 3rd day.

A gathering of congregations in Indianapolis in September under the oversight of 6 or more retired bishops, seeks a new biblical, confessional, orthodox, missional Lutheran body in North America. Dozens of very large congregations, large swaths of evangelical catholic congregations, scores of rural pietist congregations, long-alienated Canadian congregations, and many African and Asian immigrant congregations will be represented. Do not expect an immediate “leaving” of the ELCA, or individual Synods (Dioceses) to withdraw, but the gradual emergence of a robust and faithful ecclesial substance. There have already been overtures to this group from streams of Christendom that have surprised me. In Christ, the future is bright.

Pray for us, dear readers.”

Enjoy watching your “church” dissolve, Hannie.

PANTS ON FIRE

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009 | Uncategorized | 28 Comments

Homosexual Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, who is a homosexual, was homosexually in Utah recently and homosexually delivered his usual brain-dead homosexual bumper stickers:

Robinson said that recent attempts to redefine the Anglican Communion as a centralized body are the product “of a small minority that have lost votes here and are now turning to the Anglican Communion, trying to reassert their power elsewhere.” He drew on Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s definition of Anglicanism. “We meet,” he said, adding “we try to live out our traditions faithfully, live the gospel in our lives … and from time to time we meet.”

The New Hampshire church leader said that the proposed Anglican covenant is the work of those who “long for a mechanism so that any church can be kept from going too far. Those people call themselves traditionalists but I would argue they are trying to take us to a place we have never been before.”

COUGH2003COUGH!!  Then Robbie homosexually get off this homosexual howler.

Of his life as bishop of New Hampshire, Robinson said, “We spend no time on these issues. We’re growing. We have people coming who want to be part of the church. I’m doing well, in part because I love my diocese. I’m just the bishop. God has been so palpably close during these six years.”

Uh, Robbie?  I just have two questions if that’s okay.  How would you know since you’re never there?  And has anyone showed you this lately?  You’ve got an ASA of slightly over 4 grand spread over 47 parishes.  And baptized membership and ASA have been dropping every year since you got your pointy hat.

FYI.

DANGER ZONE

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009 | Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Lutheran liberals have learned all the right lines:

“We live today with an understanding of homosexuality that did not exist in Jesus’ time and culture,” Tim Mumm, a lay delegate from Wisconsin and supporter of Lutherans Concerned, an gay-rights organization, said during the debate. “We are responding to something that the writers of Scripture could not have understood.”

If I were a member of an ELCA church, I would, for my own protection, stay away effective immediately.  Because if that’s not blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, it’s as close as it’s possible to get.

SEPPUKU

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009 | Uncategorized | 17 Comments

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America takes out its sword.

YOUTH IN ASIA

Thursday, August 20th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 65 Comments

Yesterday, the religious left had its online health care cheerleading session with Barack Obama:

President Barack Obama urged people of faith to knock on doors and spread the facts and the truth about health care reform during “40 Minutes for Heath Care Reform,” an August 19 telephone call-in and webcast.

“Time and again men and women of faith have helped to show us what is possible when we are guided by our hopes and not our fears. That’s what you have done before; that’s how we were able to succeed in establishing social security and Medicare and bring about justice through the civil rights movement,” Obama said. “That’s what you can do again today to help us achieve quality affordable health care for every American.”

The usual superannuated hippie suspects participated.

“I am deeply concerned with all the shouting, the fear and even the hatred we are now hearing, we are in danger of losing the moral core of this debate, which is that many people are hurting as a result of a broken system,” said Jim Wallis, president of Sojourners, which approaches faith, politics, and culture from a leftist biblical perspective.

“This call shows how united the faith community is around the moral principal of accessible, affordable quality care for every American, for all of God’s children. Tonight we are calling on the people of faith to make our political representatives understand that the faith community will be satisfied with nothing less than accessible, affordable health care for all Americans.”

The President was particularly anxious to deal with Sarah Palin’s so-called “death panels.”

Obama also addressed the so-called “death panels,” calling the idea “an extraordinary lie.” There is a provision in the House bill that provides Medicare reimbursements for counseling to set up a living will and advice on other end-of-life decisions, he explained.

Let’s examine that one, shall we?  H. R. 3200 is the most prominent health-care proposal currently before the House of Representatives.  In Section 1233, the section the President is referring to, we read:

(1) Subject to paragraphs (3) and (4), the term `advance care planning consultation’ means a consultation between the individual and a practitioner described in paragraph (2) regarding advance care planning, if, subject to paragraph (3), the individual involved has not had such a consultation within the last 5 years. Such consultation shall include the following:

(A) An explanation by the practitioner of advance care planning, including key questions and considerations, important steps, and suggested people to talk to.

(B) An explanation by the practitioner of advance directives, including living wills and durable powers of attorney, and their uses.

(C) An explanation by the practitioner of the role and responsibilities of a health care proxy.

(D) The provision by the practitioner of a list of national and State-specific resources to assist consumers and their families with advance care planning, including the national toll-free hotline, the advance care planning clearinghouses, and State legal service organizations (including those funded through the Older Americans Act of 1965).

(E) An explanation by the practitioner of the continuum of end-of-life services and supports available, including palliative care and hospice, and benefits for such services and supports that are available under this title.

Nothing all that terribly wrong so far.  But if I indicate to my physician that I do not want the plug to be pulled should it come to that since my beliefs consider such an act to be suicide and that there is therefore no circumstance under which I will change my mind, why do I need to go through this charade again in five years?

But shouldn’t you get all that in writing, Chris?  You know, just in case?  Sure, I’ve got no problem with that except for the fact that my doctor’s “explanation” doesn’t have to take my beliefs into account.

(F)(i) Subject to clause (ii), an explanation of orders regarding life sustaining treatment or similar orders, which shall include–

(I) the reasons why the development of such an order is beneficial to the individual and the individual’s family and the reasons why such an order should be updated periodically as the health of the individual changes;

(II) the information needed for an individual or legal surrogate to make informed decisions regarding the completion of such an order; and

(III) the identification of resources that an individual may use to determine the requirements of the State in which such individual resides so that the treatment wishes of that individual will be carried out if the individual is unable to communicate those wishes, including requirements regarding the designation of a surrogate decisionmaker (also known as a health care proxy).

Of course, there are explanations and there are explanations.

(ii) The Secretary shall limit the requirement for explanations under clause (i) to consultations furnished in a State–

(I) in which all legal barriers have been addressed for enabling orders for life sustaining treatment to constitute a set of medical orders respected across all care settings; and

(II) that has in effect a program for orders for life sustaining treatment described in clause (iii).

What in the world does “program for orders for life sustaining treatment” mean?

Subject to clause (ii), an explanation of orders regarding life sustaining treatment or similar orders, which shall include–

(I) ensures such orders are standardized and uniquely identifiable throughout the State;

(II) distributes or makes accessible such orders to physicians and other health professionals that (acting within the scope of the professional’s authority under State law) may sign orders for life sustaining treatment;

(III) provides training for health care professionals across the continuum of care about the goals and use of orders for life sustaining treatment; and

(IV) is guided by a coalition of stakeholders includes representatives from emergency medical services, emergency department physicians or nurses, state long-term care association, state medical association, state surveyors, agency responsible for senior services, state department of health, state hospital association, home health association, state bar association, and state hospice association.

Feeling better about all this?  Keep going.

(5)(A) For purposes of this section, the term `order regarding life sustaining treatment’ means, with respect to an individual, an actionable medical order relating to the treatment of that individual that–

(i) is signed and dated by a physician (as defined in subsection (r)(1)) or another health care professional (as specified by the Secretary and who is acting within the scope of the professional’s authority under State law in signing such an order, including a nurse practitioner or physician assistant) and is in a form that permits it to stay with the individual and be followed by health care professionals and providers across the continuum of care;

(ii) effectively communicates the individual’s preferences regarding life sustaining treatment, including an indication of the treatment and care desired by the individual;

(iii) is uniquely identifiable and standardized within a given locality, region, or State (as identified by the Secretary); and

(iv) may incorporate any advance directive (as defined in section 1866(f)(3)) if executed by the individual.

But here’s the key.  Even if all your I’s are dotted and all your T’s are crossed, it might not matter at all.

(B) The level of treatment indicated under subparagraph (A)(ii) may range from an indication for full treatment to an indication to limit some or all or specified interventions. Such indicated levels of treatment may include indications respecting, among other items–

(i) the intensity of medical intervention if the patient is pulse less, apneic, or has serious cardiac or pulmonary problems;

(ii) the individual’s desire regarding transfer to a hospital or remaining at the current care setting;

(iii) the use of antibiotics; and

(iv) the use of artificially administered nutrition and hydration.’.

Sure would be nice to know what those “other items” are.  Advantage, Ms. Palin.

What about the idea that this thing will fund abortions?  Balderash, claims Obama:

Heath care reform is not designed to provide health insurance for illegal aliens, or to fund abortions, he continued, calling the lies and misinformation, “fabrications that have been put out there to stop people from meeting a core moral and ethical obligation that we look out for one another … that I am my brother’s keeper, my sister’s keeper, and in the wealthiest nation on earth we are neglecting to live up to that call.”

That there is some top-quality Anglican fudge is what that there is.  While I could not find the word “abortion” in my quick perusal of this bill, under “Presumptive Eligibility for Family Planning Services,” we read the following:

Sec. 1920C. (a) State Option- State plan approved under section 1902 may provide for making medical assistance available to an individual described in section 1902(hh) (relating to individuals who meet certain income eligibility standard) during a presumptive eligibility period. In the case of an individual described in section 1902(hh), such medical assistance shall be limited to family planning services and supplies described in 1905(a)(4)(C) and, at the State’s option, medical diagnosis and treatment services that are provided in conjunction with a family planning service in a family planning setting.

Google the words “family planning” and “abortion.”  Then draw your own conclusions.

Know what the really scary thing about this bill is?  If you want to purchase a paper copy of H. R. 3200 to take to your next townhall meeting and frighten your congressman with, you can order one from the Government Printing Office’s online bookstore. 

I ordered one myself yesterday; I figure someone in Missouri’s Third Congressional District should read the thing since my congressman Russ Carnahan is apparently not planning to any time soon.

Just type H. R. 3200 in the search box.  It’ll cost you $66.00 but shipping is free.  Good thing too because the package they’ll deliver to your door weighs 3-1/2 pounds.

OKAY, HOW ABOUT “BREATHING CONCLUSION PANELS?”

Thursday, August 20th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Remember what an idiot Sarah Palin was for that “death panels” blast of hers?

A reader points out that President Obama’s call with the rabbis today — as recorded in Rabbi Jack Moline’s and other clerics‘ Twitter feeds — freights health care reform with a great deal of religious meaning, and veers into the blend of policy and faith that outraged liberals in the last administration.

“We are God’s partners in matters of life and death,” Obama said, according to Moline (paging Sarah Palin…), quoting from the Rosh Hashanah prayer that says that in the holiday period, it is decided “who shall live and who shall die.”

What a brain-dead hockey mom Sarah Palin is.  Dumber than a bag of hammers.

UPDATE:  From Jim Treacher.

The appointment they make to break the news to you will be known as your expiration date.

STILL LIFE

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 28 Comments

As a matter of fact, I do have a sensitive, artistic side, thanks for asking.  I call this one Squirrel Seconds Away From Getting Hit Over The Head With Crozier.

TOTAL QUALITY HEAVEN

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 36 Comments

Katharine Jefferts Schori has a new book coming out so she was shooting the breeze with the Corvallis(Oregon) Gazette Times.  What’s this book of yours about, Presiding Bishop?

It’s really about what the reign of God looks like in today’s terminology. It shows examples of that that I’ve encountered and I’ve encouraged people to follow. The Millennium Development Goals give a concrete image of the reign of God. They give benchmarks of shalom, and metrics, which is not something the church does well or often. That part is very constructive in motivating people.

Not to go all Six Sigma on you or anything but what Christian talks like that?  What Christian thinks like that?  I thought that helping the less fortunate was something that we Christians just kind of, you know…did.

Why does there have to be a measurable process involved?  Are your works of charity invalid if your church isn’t ISO 9001 certified?  Are you doing Leviticus 19:18 wrong if you haven’t taken the class?

And why do we Christians need “benchmarks…and metrics” to motivate us to good deeds?  I thought we had all the motivation we needed already.  You know the…love of God…which He displayed by…what His Son Jesus…did for us…on the…Cross?

All this is further proof, if any were needed, that Mrs. Schori’s deity is nothing more than a pseudo-divine bureaucrat who can’t get anything done at all until all of us down here get our paperwork in to the district office.

WE HAVE A WINNER!

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 16 Comments

The Episcopal Organization Epitaph Contest is finally over.  Over at something called Secular Right, Mr. Louis Andrews comments:

I raised my daughter in the Episcopal Church so she would learn the traditions of our ancestors, not so she would become a believing Christian.

Definitely T-shirt material.  Props to Warren.

SQUIRRELLY

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 | Uncategorized | 20 Comments

If you haven’t heard about this yet, you will very soon:

Rocky is getting a run for his money as the world’s most famous squirrel.

A photograph of a camera-loving squirrel, taken by a Minnesota couple vacationing in Alberta, is going nuts on the Internet and in other media.

The photo, taken by remote in May at Banff National Park, shows a closeup of the squirrel peering into the lens as Jackson and Melissa Brandts, of Watertown, sit in the background on the shore of Lake Minnewanka.

Turns out, though, that this squirrel gets around.  As you can see, he attended the Episcopal Organization’s recent General Convention.  Here he looks a little confused because he is trying to figure out exactly what it is that Katharine Jefferts Schori is prattling on about.

You and a WHOLE bunch of the rest of us, little guy.  You and a WHOLE bunch of the rest of us.

UPDATE:  The little dude was in New York a while back kickin’ it with the Trinity-Wall Street Episcopal Church bowling team.