Posted by Christopher Johnson | Thursday, December 22nd, 2016 | Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Do any of you people have ANY idea how badly that you’ve disappointed Lisa Pryor?

On the other side of the world from you, we are living in two time zones. One regulated by the rise and fall of the sun, the other regulated by the American news cycle. In our early afternoon you go to bed, in our late evening you wake again and news breaks afresh. We examine the entrails of the tweets of your president-elect for news of our common future.

In Australia, and around the world, we have been living this presidential transition with you. We watched the debates on our lunch breaks, we scrolled through news on our phones as the voting results were announced, in the warm light of a spring day.

Since the election I have cried many times, in the shower, in the car, as the conventions that define liberal Western democracy are stripped away by Donald J. Trump, with every distressful appointment, each impulsive outburst. I have embarrassment of grief for a government that is not mine and for a country that does not belong to me. It feels as if we’re mourning the death of an idea called America.

For all the intractable problems in our region, there is a sense of forward movement. When we visit America now, it feels like the opposite, like decay. Roads, airports, an economy, perhaps even a society, falling to pieces. We are left in awe by the extreme poverty as well as the extreme wealth. And maybe it is because of your poetry about yourself that the turning current has been harder for Americans themselves to see.

The election of Mr. Trump feels like a sudden plunge after a gradual decline. Already he is goading China, befriending President Vladimir V. Putin, disregarding climate change and refusing daily intelligence briefings because he’s “a smart person.” None of this, we fear, will end well for any of us.

Lisa?  If you’re that invested in who the next President of the United States of America is going to be, then you’re WAY too damned invested in who the next President of the United States of America is going to be.

All of us survived eight years of Obama, Lisa.  We’ll survive Trump.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Wednesday, December 21st, 2016 | Uncategorized | 20 Comments

In the wake of this country’s just-concluded national election, the second time in recent memory that the winner of the popular vote lost the Presidency, many on the left are calling for the abolition of the Electoral College.  The New York Times is down.  So is Kenneth Jost:

The electoral college ought to have been struck from the Constitution or invalidated by the Supreme Court long ago.

So the Supreme Court…can decide that something that’s in the Constitution…is…unconstitutional?

Donald Trump’s electoral college victory — despite Hillary Clinton’s lead of more than 2.5 million in the popular vote — is only the latest proof that it’s the wrong way to choose a president.

This crap gets even better.  Seems that we can amend the Constitution unconstitutionally.

As a practical matter, we can’t depend on a constitutional amendment to eliminate the electoral college. Amendments require ratification by three-quarters of the states, and enough small states think they benefit from the system that an amendment would never pass. Instead, it’s up to the Supreme Court — and a properly framed lawsuit — to do away with a system that not only never functioned as the framers intended but blatantly violates the court’s “one person, one vote” principle.

You know.  Because SLAVERY.

The mechanics of the electoral college are the product of a morally corrupt decision to placate slave states in the agrarian South. At the Constitutional Convention, Pennsylvania’s James Wilson proposed direct election of the president, but he was shot down by the slave-owning Virginian James Madison.

The South’s nonvoting slaves would have counted for nothing in a popular-vote system. But slaves increased the political clout of the South because the Constitution’s three-fifths clause — each slave was deemed to be worth three-fifths of a person — counted them for apportionment in the House of Representatives. The same math was applied to the electoral college, which extended that clout to the presidency.

Perhaps.  But the fact of the matter remains that Hillary’s PV win came about because of one state.

Democrats who are having trouble getting out of the first stage of grief — denial — aren’t being helped by the fact that, now that all the votes are counted, Hillary Clinton’s lead in the popular vote has topped 2.8 million, giving her a 48% share of the vote compared with Trumps 46%.

To those unschooled in how the United States selects presidents, this seems totally unfair. But look more closely at the numbers and you see that Clinton’s advantage all but disappears.

As we noted in this space earlier, while Clinton’s overall margin looks large and impressive, it is due to Clinton’s huge margin of victory in one state — California — where she got a whopping 4.3 million more votes than Trump.

California is the only state, in fact, where Clinton’s margin of victory was bigger than President Obama’s in 2012 — 61.5% vs. Obama’s 60%.

But California is the exception that proves the true genius of the Electoral College — which was designed to prevent regional candidates from dominating national elections.

But if you still don’t understand just how brilliant that the people who started this country were, this guy ran the election results through some mapping software to find out where the vote of each candidate was the strongest, the most concentrated.  Here are Trump’s numbers.

And here are Hillary’s.

Any questions?


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, December 20th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 21 Comments

Donald Trump is officially the President of the United States of America and quite a few folks on the left are not at all happy campers.  Most of them, though, are nowhere near as unhappy as one Charles Walz of New York who will definitely not be invited to this year’s MCJ Christmas party.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Sunday, December 18th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 28 Comments

Certain things need to be decided at the start:

Prominent American celebrities have taken to YouTube to try and convince Republican Electoral College members to vote their conscience against President-elect Donald Trump.

But in a video published Friday, and first reported on Saturday by Politico, “West Wing” actor Martin Sheen incorrectly refers to the Kansas electoral college voter that he’s trying to convince. 

“As you know Mr. McMillan, our founding fathers built the electoral college to safeguard the American people from the dangers of a demagogue, and to ensure that the presidency only goes to someone who is, to an eminent degree, endowed with the requisite qualifications,” Sheen says in the video.

Ahhhhh-yup.  “Mr. McMillan” is a girl.

The person he’s talking to seems to be Kansas Electoral College voter Ashley McMillan. 

But the voter, whose full name is Ashley McMillan Hutchinson, is not Mr. McMillan. She’s a woman. And she’s the vice chairwoman of the Kansas Republican Party who wrote in The Wall Street Journal recently that “I won’t violate the will of the people of Kansas simply because coastal elites think Mr. Trump tweets too much.”


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Sunday, December 18th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 12 Comments

In case you’re wondering, these guys are or were football players.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Saturday, December 17th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Former Democratic pollster Pat Caddell nails it:

“The elite of this country has nothing but contempt and no respect for the American people who built this country,” political pollster and analyst Pat Caddell told Breitbart News Daily SiriusXM host Alex Marlow on Friday.

Caddell was responding to mainstream media efforts to undermine November’s election results with hyperbolic hacking reports, while also mentioning the recent efforts of several Hollywood has-been and B-list actors to beg electors to change their upcoming Electoral College vote away from Trump: “A group of Hollywood celebrities are calling on Republican electors in the Electoral College to disregard their states’ voting results and deny Donald Trump the presidency when the group casts their official ballots on December 19.”

Caddell said, “A lot of people have gone off the deep end,” adding, ‘They’ve lost their minds. They’ve gone crazy,” referring to the media’s reaction to the election of Donald Trump. “How dare the peasants rise up,” he said.

Concerning the Electoral College, he said, “My favorite, the Hollywood people telling electors that their job is to overturn the election results of a constitutional system, as if anyone wants to hear what those celebrities, who know nothing, who are airheads [have to say].” He went on to characterize it as insane and a total meltdown.

Yeah, pretty much.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Saturday, December 17th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

The Central Intelligence Agency has changed its mind.  The CIA has determined that the Russians did not hack the recent US elections, whatever the hell that means.  These people did:

There could be a hidden city frozen underneath Antarctica, according to shock claims.

The huge continent is an icy mass, and is currently only inhabited by scientific researchers and penguins thanks to its freezing temperatures.

Rumours of a hidden city have been floating about for years, as conspiracy theorists and even some scientists claim the freezing continent is actually the home of the legendary Lost City of Atlantis.

The theory, called crustal displacement, alleges that movements in the Earth’s crust meant that large parts of Antarctica were ice-free 12,000 years ago and people could have lived there.

Allegedly, a society could have existed ‘prehistory’, coming to an end with the last Ice Age which froze over the continent.

And this could have been Atlantis, a mythical city founded by people who were half god and half human which was first mentioned by Greek philosopher Plato in 360BC.

Antarctica’s secret city was apparently ‘”confirmed” by an ancient map called the Piri Reis map, compiled in 1513 from military intelligence.

It appears to show the Antarctic coast hundreds of years before it was discovered, but was denounced by many scholars at the time.

However, earlier this year photos from NASA appeared to reveal traces of a human settlement underneath the ice.

It would be awesome if they were still down there, wouldn’t it, having figured out a way to live and thrive underneath all that ice?  Should be a walk in the park for anyone who’s half god and half human.

MCJ fun fact: Do you know what that picture is?  It’s the flag of Antarctica.  [Paul Harvey voice] Google it.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Saturday, December 17th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Post-Trumpaumatic Stress Disorder isn’t just a disease of the famous.  If you voted for Donald Trump and you live anywhere around Skowhegan, Maine, Michael Turner of Turner LP Gas hopes that you freeze to death:

An owner of a propane dealership in Maine is refusing to deliver gas to anyone who voted for President-elect Donald Trump.

Michael Turner, owner of Turner LP Gas in Skowhegan, Maine, recorded a voice mail greeting that leaves little question as to his feelings for those in his community who supported Trump.

“Thank you for calling Turner LP gas. If you voted for Donald Trump for president I will no longer be delivering your gas — please find someone else,” the message states.

Power Line points out that the county where this company is located went heavily for Trump.  They also have a link to the actual audio.

“Turner LP Gas?  I’m one of your customers and I’d like to cancel my account for two reasons, one minor and the other major.  I voted for Trump.  But I’ve decided that I no longer want to do any business whatsoever with any company anywhere run by some whiny little bitch.  Look into the idea of growing back a pair, eunuch.”


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, December 16th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 7 Comments

Assuming it actually gets made, how badly do you think this movie will tank?

A novel about the life of Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger is being developed and produced as a film just as the abortion provider brings its centennial anniversary year to a close.

Deadline Hollywood says that Ellen Feldman’s novel Terrible Virtue will be brought to the big screen by Black Bicycle Entertainment and producer Justine Ciarrochhi.

Since Trump got elected, I think we’re going to see a lot more of this kind of thing from Show Biz.  Liberal sermons.  So I don’t expect to go to the movies for, well, the foreseeable future.

Because it’s like I’ve always said.  As far as I’m concerned, it makes absolutely no sense to pay money to watch a leftist preach at me when I can go to an Episcopal church any time the mood strikes me and see that for free.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, December 16th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

I can see the headline now.  “Pulitzer Prize-Winning Columnist Snaps, Kills Ten”:


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, December 16th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I REALLY wish I’d known Chris Connors:

Chris Connors died, at age 67, after trying to box his bikini-clad hospice nurse just moments earlier. Ladies man, game slayer, and outlaw Connors told his last inappropriate joke on Friday, December 9, 2016, that which cannot be printed here. Anyone else fighting ALS and stage 4 pancreatic cancer would have gone quietly into the night, but Connors was stark naked drinking Veuve in a house full of friends and family as Al Green played from the speakers.

Throughout his life, he was an accomplished hunter and birth control device tester (with some failures, notably Caitlin Connors, 33; Chris Connors, 11; and Liam Connors, 8).

Absolut vodka and Simply Orange companies are devastated by the loss of Connors.

Read the whole thing.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, December 16th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

JUST too easy:

Missouri’s new mental hospital in Fulton will be named after Gov. Jay Nixon when it opens in 2018.

In action Wednesday, the state’s Board of Public Buildings approved the designation as a parting gift to the two-term Democrat, who championed the plan to replace the outdated and deteriorating maximum-security psychiatric facility in Callaway County.

The board is comprised of the governor, Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder and Attorney General Chris Koster. Nixon abstained from the vote.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Thursday, December 15th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Deranged Slate douchebag compares Trump to racist mass-murderer.  I’m not quoting from it because it’s stupidest thing I’ve read in a very long time, not to mention a damned libel.  But if the left doesn’t get a grip and get it soon, Trump’s a two-termer.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Wednesday, December 14th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 15 Comments

Star Wars is about war:

Rogue One review: this is the first Star Wars movie to acknowledge the whole franchise is about war.

They die horrible deaths in spaceship crashes. They’re cut down by light sabers. They’re obliterated by giant explosions. They die brutally and nastily and quickly. They die, as most of us do, with unfinished business.

In and of itself, these insert shots of the humans in the midst of destruction are no different from the ones you might see in other sci-fi adventures, but Edwards repeats this pattern. He always shows you someone’s body flying backward from an explosion, presumably broken. Two Imperial Stormtroopers shoot the breeze about a work-related matter before they’re gunned down. Main characters die. Villains die. Faceless extras die. And they all die the same way — too soon.

In other news, scholars agree that Gone With The Wind has a American Civil War subtext.

Mark Twain’s Life On The Mississippi concerns life along the Mississippi River in the nineteenth century.

Casablanca is anti-Nazi.  So is The Longest Day.

The Peloponnesian War did not involve China.

Neither did Gone With The Wind, Life On The Mississippi, Casablanca or The Longest Day.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, December 13th, 2016 | Uncategorized | 25 Comments

People won’t vote for you if you hate them:

The predominant narrative coming out of the 2016 presidential post-election analysis is: The flyover states have spoken.

A flyover state is the huge region between the coasts. As opposed to the eastern seaboard, northern post-industrial states and Pacific Ocean states. They’re overwhelmingly Republican, stanchly conservative, regressive right wing, evangelical Christian and working class, well, the loudest, most ill-informed of them are. The term wasn’t commonly used in a political manner until recently with the emergence of the Tea Party and the election of Obama.

A visit to Wichita, Kan., isn’t on the bucket list of many Americans. Whereas most travelers fly over Fayetteville, Ark., and Springfield, Mo. They’re not destination spots. The flyover state gripe has nothing to do with the tourist industry of Oklahoma or Nebraska or Iowa. This is about their perceived feelings of abandonment and disrespect from their government. Never mind they’ve elected local, state and national representatives that should reflect their values and interests.

Now they’ve elected Donald Trump, the ultimate coastal elite. Trump pandered to their bigotry, and anger at Washington, D.C.

The more entrenched the flyover voting bloc becomes in their voting habits, the further they fall behind economically, by voting against their own interests, the more they blame Washington, D.C. and coastal “liberal elites” for their issues.

This is a voter demographic fond of describing themselves as hard-working middle-class Americans. Which they are. They’re overwhelmingly middle-aged to senior, white, semi-rural, increasingly suburban and indignant. They seem to be perpetually enraged every election cycle, and after, according to the results.

They either want their country back or they’re tired of being ignored. They regularly blurt the latter as justification for electing right-wing theocrat/closed minds, austerity minded, cultural fascists to office. These are people that use more government subsidy than any segment of the country, but they hate “handouts” to anyone else. They are the largest consumers of SNAP benefits, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.

The alleged silent majority is deafening and easily provoked. They reside in their own echo-chamber bubble of indignation about everything from “New York values” (urban, ethnic rights, LGBT, social justice), to the war on Christmas and Black Lives Matter. They mocked and derided all people’s protests from Occupy to #NoDAPL. Their old standbys are opposing a woman’s right to choose, reinstituting school prayer and eradicating “big government.” They hate progress. Their idea of American values is straight from circa 1870.

Bitter much, douchebag?

Now you know why the concept of secession is not a dead letter by any stretch of the imagination.  I joke about it around here a lot but I’m genuinely coming to believe that it might actually happen in this country again.

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