NERVOUS ABOUT THE ISLAMIC STATE?

Monday, September 1st, 2014 | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

You might want to look into the idea:

Columbus [Indiana] Police said they’ve never had anything like it – three churches vandalized in the same night.

Someone spray painted them on the outside. It’s the words used, though, that have some people asking if this was more than a prank.

“It was just one word. It said ‘Infidels!’” Father Doug Marcotte said of what was spray painted on Saint Bartholomew’s Catholic Church in Columbus overnight Saturday.

Parishioners saw that, along with the word “Qur’an 3:151″ on their way into mass Sunday morning.

“It’s certainly not a warm and fuzzy verse. It talks about the infidels, their refuge being the fire,” explained Father Marcotte.

Specifically, that passage of the Qur’an reads: “We will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve for what they have associated with Allah of which He had not sent down [any] authority. And their refuge will be the Fire, and wretched is the residence of the wrongdoers.”

Saint Bartholomew’s wasn’t the only Columbus church vandalized.

“It’s really bizarre and the fact that they hit two other Christian Churches. It’s not like we’re all in a line. So why did they pick the three of us?” asked Father Marcotte.

Outside East Columbus Christian Church and Lakeview Church of Christ, members there found the same kind of graffiti Sunday morning.

NEWS FLASH

Monday, September 1st, 2014 | Uncategorized | 23 Comments

Baby boomers are old.  Second news flash.  We’re whining about it.

END OF AN ERA…ISH

Saturday, August 30th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 37 Comments

Mike Sam didn’t make it:

The St. Louis Rams released defensive end Michael Sam on Saturday, the team announced.

Sam’s hopes of sticking with the Rams and becoming the first openly gay athlete to play in the NFL came up just short in a competition against undrafted rookie Ethan Westbrooks.

Westbrooks is one of nine defensive linemen to land a roster spot on the team.

That doesn’t necessarily mean that Mike’s NFL career is over.

Sam officially hit waivers Saturday at 4 p.m. ET when all NFL teams had to trim their rosters down to the league-mandated 53 players. From there, the other 31 teams will have until noon ET on Sunday to put in a claim for Sam. If he goes unclaimed, he will be free to sign with a practice squad.

And the Rams would like to keep him around.

A league source said earlier this week that the Rams would like to bring Sam back to their 10-man practice squad, but Fisher fended off questions about any potential moves Saturday, saying the practice squad will be affected by the team’s needs at other positions.

“There will be no challenge, no challenges whatsoever,” for whatever team picks up Sam, Rams coach Jeff Fisher said at a news conference.

“There’s no challenge with respect to Mike Sam,” Fisher said. “He’s not about drawing attention to himself. He kept his head down and worked and you can’t ask anything more out of any player for that matter.”

So this story’s not over by a long shot.

DEMENTIA

Saturday, August 30th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 55 Comments

I suppose that most of you have seen news reports, feature stories or documentaries about families dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease.  They’re always well-done and communicate what it’s like as best they can, given their time constraints.

But as a veteran of that war, those of you who receive the news that someone in your family has been diagnosed with that disease had better understand something.  No Alzheimer’s stories or documentaries you watch, however long they run, can even begin to describe the hell that you’re about to experience.

For me, one of the worst parts (if you leave out that time, early on, when I left the nursing home after visiting Momma one evening, she wanted me to take her home, an attendant had to hold her back and I got to listen to Momma scream all the way to the front door) of the whole experience was when my sister Jennifer brought her first child Madeline over to the nursing home for a visit.

If Mom had been right, she would have been over the moon about Madeline.  She doted on all her grandkids and, since Jen lived in town, Momma would have taken over full-time daycare duties whether Jen asked her to or not; the simple fact of the matter is that my mom would have ordered Jennifer back to work immediately and taken up Maddie’s upbringing all by herself.

And she would have been the happiest grandmother who ever lived.

So Jen, Madeline and I are sitting at the front entrance of the nursing home one cool evening when Dad wheels Mom out and formal introductions are made.

Mom’s reaction to Madeline?  She had little or no reaction at all.  None.  That’s the thing about watching someone with Alzheimer’s die over a prolonged period of time.  You seldom lack reasons to desperately want to drink yourself unconscious.

But what must it be like to helplessly watch your entire country slowly lose its mind?

More than 1,400 children were sexually abused over a 16 year period by gangs of paedophiles after police and council bosses turned a blind eye for fear of being labelled racist, a damning report has concluded. 

Senior officials were responsible for “blatant” failures that saw victims, some as young as 11, being treated with contempt and categorised as being “out of control” or simply ignored when they asked for help.

In some cases, parents who tried to rescue their children from abusers were themselves arrested. Police officers even dismissed the rape of children by saying that sex had been consensual.

There were calls for Shaun Wright, the Police and Crime Commissioner for South Yorkshire (pictured above, left), to step down after it emerged that he was the councillor with responsibility for children’s services in Rotherham for part of the period covered by the report.

Details of the appalling depravity in the town and the systemic failures that allowed it to continue were laid out in a report published by Professor Alexis Jay, the former chief inspector of social work in Scotland. Victims were gang raped, while others were groomed and trafficked across northern England by groups of mainly Asian men.

Prof Jay wrote: “No one knows the true scale of child sexual exploitation in Rotherham over the years. Our conservative estimate is that approximately 1,400 children were sexually exploited over the full inquiry period, from 1997 to 2013.

“It is hard to describe the appalling nature of the abuse that child victims suffered. They were raped by multiple perpetrators, trafficked to other towns and cities in the north of England, abducted, beaten, and intimidated.”

She added: “There were examples of children who had been doused in petrol and threatened with being set alight, threatened with guns, made to witness brutally violent rapes and threatened they would be next if they told anyone.”

Prof Jay said: “Within social care, the scale and seriousness of the problem was underplayed by senior managers. At an operational level, the police gave no priority to child sex exploitation, regarding many child victims with contempt and failing to act on their abuse as a crime.”

It emerged that there had been three previous reports into the problem which had been suppressed or ignored by officials, either because they did not like or did not believe the findings.

Tuesday’s report concluded that by far the majority of perpetrators were Asian men, and said council officials had been unwilling to address the issue for fear of being labelled racist.

Two things.  ANY British political leaders or police officials who knew about this and did nothing should not only lose their jobs but face prosecution and even jail time for this atrocity.  Merely getting sacked because you looked the other way while thousands of innocent young British girls were essentially sold into slavery and have had their lives destroyed sounds like the most nauseating parody of the term “slap on the wrist” that it is possible for even the most depraved human mind to conceive.

British media?  If you actually want to do something about the mindset that led to these appalling crimes and the moral cowardice that ignored them, the first thing you’re going to need to do is be honest.  And the very first thing that that means is to LOSE THE DAMNED EUPHEMISMS.

Where are these “Asian men” from anyway?  Asia’s a big place.  Are they Chinese?  Japanese?  Koreans?  Mongolians?  Vietnamese?  Thais?  Cambodians?  Laotians?  Burmese?  Uzbeks?  Turkmen?  Kazakhs?  Tibetans?  Uyghurs?  Azerbaijanis?  Manchus?

Or are they Pakistanis, British media?  If they’re Pakistanis, then bloody say that they’re Pakistanis, damn it.  But let’s cut to the chase here.  Are those “Asian men” also Muslims, British media?  Then say that too.

If you can’t do make yourselves do both of those things, if being labeled “racist” or “anti-Muslim” scares you more than telling the truth about what happened at Rotherham and who it happened to, then the whole lot of you might as well quit your jobs, look for media positions overseas and start the citizenship process.  Because Great Britain will no longer be good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.

AND NOW…IDIOTS

Thursday, August 28th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 16 Comments

Content, as I always say, edited slightly

A photo of a Garwood home flying a Nazi flag has gone viral on Twitter after it was posted Tuesday morning, with commenters expressing concern the resident supports the Holocaust, with which the flag is sometimes associated.

The Winslow Place resident, Mark Dunaway, 44, told NJ.com he has flown the flag for at least 10 years.

“I understand now that people turn on CNN and see the flag associated with Nazism, but that’s not the intention of that flag at all,” Dunaway said. “It’s not meant to be a symbol of hate but a symbol of my pride in my German heritage. I am not a Nazi, I’m not anti-American and I certainly don’t support genocide. I love my country, but I also respect where my ancestors came from.”

DEAR ESPN

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 33 Comments

My name is Christopher Johnson.  I’m the day-to-day proprietor of a blog called the Midwest Conservative Journal; perhaps you’ve heard of it.

But that’s not important so let me get straight to the point.  I’ve got a business proposition for you.  Since you don’t seem to currently have a position comparable to it, I would like to suggest that ESPN establish a position in its broadcast and print divisions which would be called “Editor” and which I feel more than capable of filling:

Rams coach Jeff Fisher remains angry over an ESPN report that dealt in part with the “showering habits” of defensive end Michael Sam by ESPN reporter Josina Anderson.

The function of the “Editor” would be twofold.  One, of course, would be to tighten up pieces as much as possible.

“I’m extremely disappointed in her piece,” Fisher told the Post-Dispatch on Wednesday, not long before the team boarded buses for Lambert Airport and the trip to Miami for Thursday’s preseason finale.

The other would be to determine whether this or that piece should even see the light of day what with it being too stupid for words.

“I think it’s unethical,” Fisher continued. “I think it’s very, very unprofessional. Not only the piece itself, the content. The manner in which she did it.”

This would be a great deal for ESPN since I could work entirely online, saving ESPN the moving expenses.  I could tighten up this piece, tell the author of that piece, “What the hell were you thinking, writing something this mind-blowingly idiotic?  Hell, no,” that kind of thing.  Let me know what you think.

Sincerely,

Christopher Johnson
Webster Groves, Missouri

AND NOW…IDIOTS

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 17 Comments

The Rev. Bruce Shipman, Episcopal chaplain at Yale, blames the victim:

Deborah E. Lipstadt makes far too little of the relationship between Israel’s policies in the West Bank and Gaza and growing anti-Semitism in Europe and beyond.

The trend to which she alludes parallels the carnage in Gaza over the last five years, not to mention the perpetually stalled peace talks and the continuing occupation of the West Bank.

As hope for a two-state solution fades and Palestinian casualties continue to mount, the best antidote to anti-Semitism would be for Israel’s patrons abroad to press the government of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for final-status resolution to the Palestinian question.

David Bernstein points out the blindingly obvious.

Next on Rev. Shipman’s bucket list: blaming women who dress provocatively for rape, blaming blacks for racism because of high crime rates, and blaming gays for homophobia for being “flamboyant.”

If Rev. Shipman had made analogous comments about any other “ism,” he’d be out of a job.  And if it were any group but Jews, their student organization would be occupying his office and demanding it.

YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS?

Sunday, August 24th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 42 Comments

I’ll tell you what sucks.  What sucks is when your favorite professional sports team’s season ends before it has even had a chance to officially begin.

We’d actually been talking playoffs around here.  We punched up the offensive line in the draft, we picked up a great running back in Auburn’s Tre Mason to add to our stable, the wide receiving corps here is better and Tavon Austin has another year under his belt.  So who’s going to be handing off and/or throwing to those guys?

As of now, Shaun Hill.  Thirteen years in the league, thirteen wins as a starter and thirteen losses.

Yay.

The Jameis Winston Sweepstakes has just received its first official entry.  As for me, I need bourbon.  Later.

COUNTERINTUITIVE

Saturday, August 23rd, 2014 | Uncategorized | 35 Comments

Polls routinely ask the Young PeopleTM what will keep them attending church and the answers given are all pretty much the same.  Ordain women, spend less time on “sin” and more on “social justice,” stop being so mean to da gaze, etc.  Alexander Griswold isn’t sure how seriously to take these results since churches who have adopted this leftist agenda are pretty much all basically tanking:

By now, we’ve all heard the refrain that U.S. churches need liberalize their teachings on sexuality and homosexuality or rapidly decline. The logic behind the argument is simple: more and more Americans are embracing homosexuality and same-sex marriage, including growing numbers of religious Millennials. So long as churches remain the face of opposition to gay marriage, those churches will shrink into irrelevancy when gay marriage (inevitably, we are told) becomes a settled political issue.

These arguments often see church acceptance of homosexuality as a carrot as well as a stick. It isn’t so much that denouncing homosexuality will drive people away from church, but that embracing it will also lead people into church. LGBT individuals and their supporters, many of whom hold a dim view of religion after a decades-long culture war, will reconsider church if denominations remove their restrictions on gay marriage and ordination.

But a number of Christian denominations have already taken significant steps towards liberalizing their stances on homosexuality and marriage, and the evidence so far seems to indicate that affirming homosexuality is hardly a cure for membership woes. On the contrary, every major American church that has taken steps towards liberalization of sexual issues has seen a steep decline in membership.

Read the whole thing.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME

Friday, August 22nd, 2014 | Uncategorized | 32 Comments

For a long time, it’s been axiomatic with Your Editor that many of you should be running blogs of your own.  After all, running one of these things is neither brain science nor rocket surgery.  One of you has already been added to the MCJ staff and more of you will soon be taken on here.

But if this post by Michelle Goldberg at The Old Stalinists’ Retirement Home Nation is any indication, perhaps Your Editor ought not be so sure of himself. Seems Shelly thinks she’s caught pro-lifers in a contradiction:

A couple of years ago, when I was newly pregnant and reporting in the West Bank, some of my local colleagues insisted that I skip covering a protest at an Israeli checkpoint. At first, I was resistant to letting pregnancy stand in the way of my work, but they knew from experience that there might be tear gas, and tear gas, they said, causes miscarriages.

Granted, the science isn’t there…

They were right: though rigorous studies are few, there is evidence that tear gas is an abortifacient. In 2011, Chile temporarily suspended its use after a University of Chile study linked it to miscarriage and fetal harm. Investigating the use of tear gas in Bahrain in 2012, Physicians for Human Rights found that local doctors were reporting increased numbers of miscarriages in exposed areas. And UN officials have connected tear gas to miscarriages in the Palestinian territories.

But any port in a storm.

This means it’s likely that police in Ferguson, Missouri, have been spraying abortion-causing chemicals on crowds of civilians. Recently at TheNation.com, Dani McClain wrote about the killing of black youth as a reproductive justice issue, one that goes to the heart of the rights of parents to raise their children in peace, safety and dignity. She’s correct, of course, but if the anti-abortion movement were actually concerned about the well-being of the unborn, then the violence in Ferguson would be a pro-life issue as well.

Let me get this straight, Shelly.  According to as leftist a journal as exists anywhere in the world, “the well-being of the unborn” has now become a legitimate concern.  And anything that might harm that “well-being” can and should be vigorously opposed.

Good to know, Shelly.

AND NOW…IDIOTS

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 64 Comments

This area simply cannot buy a break:

[St. Louis City] Police Chief Sam Dotson walked from a sidewalk press briefing toward the crowd at midday Tuesday. As he was describing the scene, someone scolded the others, “Listen up.” Another added, “Keep quiet.” Dotson said a city alderman had witnessed the shooting.

Afterward, Dotson said, “I want this message to be out as quickly and truthfully as possible.” The tension on the street seemed diminished.

Dotson spoke on the 8700 block of Riverview Boulevard, at McLaran Avenue, north of Calvary Cemetery. About 12:30 p.m., he said, two of his officers had shot and killed a man who, they said, attacked them with a knife.

Fortunately (if that’s an appropriate word to use here), this incident seems to have been better witnessed than the one in Ferguson.

Powell started throwing the items on the street and sidewalk. St. Louis Alderman Dionne Flowers, who works at a nearby beauty shop, witnessed the encounter and told officers the man was acting erratically and was grabbing at his waistband.

Dotson said the store owner and the alderman said the suspect was “armed with a knife, acting erratically, pacing back and forth in the street, talking to himself.”

Employees at the market and the beauty shop called 911. Two arriving officers ordered Powell to get down, but he became more agitated and walked toward them, reaching for his waistband. Witnesses told police the man was yelling, “Shoot me, kill me now,” during the encounter, Dotson said.

As for Ferguson, the award for the hands-down stupidest thing anybody has said about this whole tragedy goes to a guy who used to be an institution around here.

Ted Simmons, the former eight-time All-Star catcher, witnessed racial bias when he moved to St. Louis nearly 45 years ago, and for the Cardinals.

He was a kid who was born and raised in Michigan, drafted by the Cardinals in 1967, and saw things he couldn’t believe.

Simmons vividly recalls the hurt and anger when his own Cardinals’ teammates, Bob Gibson and Bill White, were turned away when they tried to move into an upscale neighborhood in St. Louis. Gibson wound up simply staying at a downtown hotel during the season, and immediately leaving for his hometown of Omaha, Neb., when the season ended. He remembers a disproportionate amount of cars pulled over in Clayton and Ladue belonging to African-American drivers.

Did such indignities happen to black Cardinal players in St. Louis back then?  To our shame, yes they did.  Our shame is made much more unbearable by the fact that such things never ever happened to black players in any other major-league cities at allEVER.  End particularly corrosive sarcasm.  Then Teddy Ballgame doubles down.

“This has been tough on everyone,” says Simmons, the Seattle Mariners’ senior advisor, who has lived in the St. Louis area for nearly 45 years. “You live here, and people think that things like this only happen across the river in Illinois. Well, this is the still the South, and things happen that shouldn’t.

Still.  The.  South.  The South.  Capital S.  Teddy Ballgame, who “always perceived myself as integrated and civilized with a broad perspective,” knows that such things only happen in “the South” and never happen anywhere else.

Leave aside the fact that St. Louis predates Missouri.  Forget the fact that St. Louis was perfectly happy as the dominant settlement of Upper Louisiana until this “United States of America” doohickey bought the lot from Napoleon, created this “Missouri” thing and decided to let all those ’necks move in.

Ignore the fact that antebellum St. Louis business interests, which were coming to dominate the state, were directed toward Boston, New York and Philadelphia and were manifestly anti-slavery.  Ignore the fact that the City of St. Louis elected an emancipationist mayor before the War.  Ignore the fact that St. Louis County was one of only two counties in Missouri that voted for Abraham Lincoln for president.

Ignore the fact that St Louisians are Missourians in the same way that Basques are Spaniards; it might be drawn that way on a map but I wouldn’t suggest that to the locals if I were you.

Because NO racial bias ever occurs north of the Mason-Dixon Line.  Absolutely no racial bias at all.  None whatsoever.

UPDATE: Legendary MCJ commenter Katherine reminded me of something that I left out.  In the comments to the post below this one, where I mentioned the Civil War’s gift to the South, according to Robert Penn Warren’s The Legacy of the Civil War, I also mentioned that war’s gift to the North, something Warren calls the Treasury of Virtue.

The Treasury of Virtue, which is the psychological heritage left to the North by the Civil War, may not be as comic or vicious as the Great Alibi, but it is equally unlovely. It may even be, in the end, equally corrosive of national, and personal integrity. If the Southerner, with his Great Alibi, feels trapped by history, the Northerner, with his Treasury of Virtue, feels redeemed by history, automatically redeemed. He has in his pocket, not a Papal indulgence peddled by some wandering pardoner of the Middle Ages, but an indulgence, a plenary indulgence, for all sins past, present and future, freely given by the hand of history.

And that is why I keep recommending that little book.  Because when was the last time you heard or read of an American leftist admitting a policy mistake or confessing that some leftist program or other was a failure?

They don’t.  Ever.  Every idea that pops into their heads is not only right but sanctified by God.  QED, anyone who opposes them or who believes that some objective can be achieved by different means must be the Other.  Utterly evil.

From the “South.”

Nothing ever goes away in America.  That war didn’t stop at Appomattox in ’65.  It just went cold.  And it’s still going on.

THE GREAT CHRISTIAN ALIBI

Monday, August 18th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 41 Comments

In 1961, at the start of the United States Civil War Centennial observances, LIFE magazine asked Robert Penn Warren for an essay about the effects of that war on subsequent US history.  That essay eventually became a small book entitled The Legacy of the Civil War which is still in print and is well worth your time.

It’s slightly more than one hundred pages and if you’re not as glacially slow a reader as the Editor is, you can probably polish it off in an hour or less.  Warren, a Kentuckian, is equally harsh with both sides, as he should be.  But the curse which was laid upon the South as a result of that war was something that Warren labels the Great Alibi.  I’m transcribing directly from the book so any errors are mine:

By the Great Alibi, the South explains, condones and transmutes everything.  By a simple reference to the “War,” any Southern female could not too long ago, put on the glass slipper and be whisked away to the ball.  Any goose could dream herself (or himself) a swan– surrounded, of course, by a good many geese for contrast and devoted hand-service.  Even now, any common lyncher becomes a defender of the Southern tradition, and any rabble-rouser the gallant leader of a thin gray line of heroes, his hat on saber-point to provide reference by which to hold formation in the charge.  By the Great Alibi, pellagra, hookworm and illiteracy are all explained, or explained away, and mortgages are converted into badges of distinction.  Laziness becomes the aesthetic sense, blood-lust rising from a matrix of boredom and resentful misery becomes a high sense of honor, and ignorance becomes divine revelation.  By the Great Alibi, the Southerner makes his Big Medicine.  He turns defeat into victory, defects into virtues.  Even more pathetically, he turns his great virtues into absurdities–sometimes vicious absurdities.

It occurred to me that one of the most terrible tragedies of the Catholic Church’s sexual abuse scandals is that it granted something like Warren’s Great Alibi to the Catholic left, the Christian left and other enemies of the Gospel.

For example.  You’re a Catholic theologian of leftist leanings or a feminist nun.  You have publicly written that not only should Katharine Jefferts Schori be allowed to preach in Catholic parishes, she should also be allowed to concelebrate the Mass.

The Vatican calls you out.  How do you respond?  Easy.  You simply invoke the Great Christian Alibi in the same way as Sister Elizabeth Johnson [No relation - Ed] does here:

A nun who drew U.S. Catholic bishops’ ire with what they consider radical feminist writings fired back Friday (Aug. 15), saying their investigation of women’s orders is wasteful when financial mismanagement and sexual abuses are being covered up.

“When the moral authority of the hierarchy is hemorrhaging due to financial scandals and many bishops who … cover up sexual abuse of children, a cover up that continues in some quarters to this day, and thousands are drifting away from the church … the waste of time on this investigation is unconscionable,” Johnson said.

And debate is officially over.  Who are you, you male member of the church hierarchy, to lecture me about anything at all, considering that the MALE hierarchy of this church covered up the sexual abuse of CHILDREN?

Leaving aside the psychological trauma of the victims, the Great Alibi freely provided to the enemies of both the Catholic Church and the Gospel may actually be the single most damaging thing to emerge from the sexual abuse scandals.

Because how do you answer it?

PRESSER

Saturday, August 16th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 36 Comments

[He's back. - Ed.]

Bishop Empty Coke Bottle, Public Relations Director for the Episcopal Church, strode to the podium.  “Good afternoon, idiots and idiettes, er, um, ladies and gentleman,” he said to the reporters gathered in the Church Center press room.  “Are any of you people new?”

About a third of the room raised their hands.  “Okay here’s how things work around here, ” Bottle continued.  “Anybody who raised their hands just now doesn’t get to ask a question since you haven’t been to one of these before, your questions will be stupid and the one thing that pisses me off more than anything else is stupidity.

“The booze in the back is free but the veterans won’t need it since they’re probably hammered already.  Those of you who aren’t drunk off your asses might as well start drinking now since it isn’t going to cost you anything and hopefully, it’ll keep you from asking questions that piss me off.

“Anyway.  The Episcopal Church would like announce a brand-new revenue stream, ministry.  In a couple of weeks, the Church’s Fine Foods Division…”

“Why does the Episcopal Church have a fine foods division?” wondered ABC’s Jonathan Karl.

“For the same reason other churches do, ass,” replied the Bishop, more than a little annoyed.

“What other divisions does the Church have?”

“Jeez.  There’s Episcopal Church Home & Garden, Episcopal Church Restaurant Supply, Episcopal Church Kidz Klothing, Episcopal Church Online Dating Service, Episcopal Church Bait & Tackle, Episcopal Church Insta-Ordination kits, Episcopal Church Catering, Episcopal Church Petrochemicals, EpiscoBurgers, Episcopal Church Feed & Grain, etc.

“Anyway, as I was saying before Karl so rudely interrupted me, the Episcopal Church Fine Foods Division will begin rolling out what we like to call ‘sophisticated drinks for sophisticated people.’”

“The Episcopal Church will start selling alcoholic beverages?” asked CBS’s Gayle King.

“That’s correct, Gayle.  Some of the best beer in the world is brewed at monasteries.  Why shouldn’t the Episcopal Church do the same?”

“What will be the first beverage to hit the market?”

“Glad you asked.  In a very short time, people will be able to buy at the supermarket or order online what we call The Episcopalian Non-Alcoholic Vodka.”

Charlie Rose stood up.  “Bishop, why did the Episcopal Church decide to…wait…what??  What’s this going to be called again?”

“The Episcopalian Non-Alcoholic Vodka.”

The entire Episcopal Church Press Corps looked utterly confused and stared at one another with deer-in-the-headlights expressions.  Finally, CNN’s Jake Tapper managed to say, “Bishop, aren’t you basically referring to…well…water?”

“No, Jake, I’m referring to non-alcoholic vodka.  If I had meant to say water, I would have said water.”

“Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,” stammered Norah O’Donnell.  “What if you took some vodka and however you do this, removed all the alcohol from it?  What would be left?”

“Obviously.  Non-alcoholic vodka”

“Son of a…”

“Norah, I think I’ve got this,” said the MCJ’s Michael D. Harmon.  “Bishop, how exactly is The Episcopalian water…”

Non-alcoholic vodka.  JEEZ, are you people deaf?

“…non-alcoholic vodka made?  How is the alcohol actually removed?”

“It’s not, Mike.  I can’t go into details because our process is proprietary.  But basically, it doesn’t ever allow any alcohol into the final product at all.”

“So it starts out and basically remains…water,” observed NBC’s Brian Williams.

“It’s NON-ALCOHOLIC VODKA, moronHow many times do I have to keep repeating this?  Are you people mentally handicapped or something?  Do any of you have any knowledge of how big a problem alcoholism and binge drinking is with the young people of this country?

“So what other drinks will the Episcopal Church be rolling out?” asked CBS’s Leslie Stahl.

“Good question for a damn change.  In another month, we’ll be introducing Lambeth Palace Non-Alcoholic London Dry Gin while El Anglicano Non-Alcoholic Silver Tequila will follow it.  We’re still working on a non-aged, non-alcoholic bourbon but we haven’t come up with a brand name yet.”

“Figures.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing in particular.

Bishop Bottle stared at Stahl for a while and then looked around the room.  “Anything else?”

“Nah, we’re good,” said Jake Tapper, nursing a Manhattan, as the rest of the Press Corps, pouring themselves drinks at the back of the room, nodded in agreement.

FLY ON THE WALL

Thursday, August 14th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 135 Comments

It’s always interesting to read what liberals write when they think that they’re among friends.  For example, these lefties seem to genuinely believe that the bad guys of the US Civil War were Lincoln and Grant:

The nation would be better off if Southern states seceded from the union, and Republicans pushing for right-to-work, voter ID laws and other reforms are “neo-Confederates” according to a candid exchange between a major Democratic donor and liberal organizers on Gamechanger Salon. The forum, a secretive and exclusive digital gathering of over 1,000 leftwing leaders, activists and journalists, was recently made public by Media Trackers, and email exchanges between members offer fascinating insights into the group’s inner deliberations.

Gamechanger Salon participant Jon Stahl sparked a conversation last October about the role of the South in American politics when he posted a link to Michael Lind’s piece for Salon magazine entitled The South is Holding America Hostage. “I thought this was an impressive (if tough) piece of big-picture political strategy and prescription,” Stahl explained before remarking, “Would be interested to hear others’ opinions of whether he is on target or way off…and if so what that might imply.”

If the “South” wanted to take another run at independence, Guy Saperstein certainly wouldn’t stand in the way.

First to respond was Guy Saperstein, a wealthy California mega-donor to Democratic candidates and leftwing causes. “In the alternative, could we just let the South secede?” the part owner of the Oakland Athletics baseball team queried.

“For more than 100 years, the South has been dumbing down national politics, tilting the country in a conservative direction, supporting militarism, all while demanding huge financial subsidies from blue states. It would be 100% fine with me if the South was a separate nation, pursuing its own priorities and destiny.  And if people like you succeed in blunting the conservatism of the South, more power to you.”

But what do we do about all those African-Americans living the the “South,” Guy?  Easy.  Let them eat cake move to the progressive heaven Guy and his friends will establish once they’re clear of the racist reactionary Neanderthals.

Reached via email by Media Trackers, Saperstein doubled-down on his theory. Asked about the consequences for African Americans if secession became a reality, he said “secession would be a gradual process, giving any blacks who felt threatened time to relocate.”

According to Saperstein, civil rights victories “would not be lost for any blacks willing to relocate and the ones who relocated would do much better in their new environments.”

I’m down.  I’d love to have a chance to fly my Third National some time.  I just don’t think that Guy and his fellow lefties understand the implications of their proposal.

For one thing, the new “Confederate States of America” will be FAR larger than the first one was, extending from the Gulf of Mexico to the Canadian border and Alaska which would pretty much completely cut Guy’s “United States of America” off from most of its food and pretty much all of its energy.

From your fingertips to God’s ears, Sappy.

JOHNSON’S FIRST LAW OF LIBERAL PROTESTANT THERMODYNAMICS

Tuesday, August 12th, 2014 | Uncategorized | 37 Comments

Nothing worthwhile ever comes from a theologian who makes a point of referring to himself or herself as “The Rev. Dr.”  Case in point: the Rev. Dr. Susan Brooks Thistlethwaite thinks genocide is bad:

There seems little doubt that the self-styled radical Islamist group, Islamic State, is committing genocide in Iraq, certainly against the Yazidis, and has targeted Christians to “convert or die” as well.

But actually doing something about genocide is also bad.

In fact, it is important, in my view, not to mistake this U.S. effort in Iraq for anything other than military interventionism wrapped in humanitarianism. That does not mean, however, the humanitarianism should not be undertaken. That’s why this is a “problem from Hell.”

Let me get this straight.  Instead of militarily fighting against the Nazis, the Allies should have restricted themselves to air-dropping extra food, clothing, blankets, etc. into the death camps?  Yeah, pretty much.

The doctrine of humanitarian intervention, or what is now more technically called Responsibility to Protect (R2P) was developed following the genocides in Rwanda and the Balkans in the 1990s. While the Holocaust during World War II had produced solemn pledges of “never again,” the fact was that genocide did happen again, and especially in regard to Rwanda, the world did nothing.

So what does Susan suggest that the world do about genocides?  Nothing in particular.

So what are we supposed to do? Let Islamic State bury women and children alive, brutally massacre religious groups and drive them out of their homes?

No. That’s what makes this a hellish problem.

Just do not mistake this for anything other than military intervention that has some humanitarian goals, namely getting supplies to people who desperately need them and helping provide a safety corridor so that they might escape Islamic State. But when you see bombers and drones in action, know that this is military interventionism to “protect American interests,” and not mistake it for anything else.

Okay.  Instead of relying on “military interventionism,” the only thing that has EVER stopped genocides, let’s rely instead on the unstoppable power of Twitter hashtags.

Ass.

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