Posted by Bill (not IB) | Friday, October 21st, 2016 | If You Want to Point Fingers... | 29 Comments

It’s time for enlightened Americans to take a stand and do away with one of the most blatant examples of sexism that can be imagined.

It is full of characterizations of persons and things which are explicitly tied to a gender definition. It operates on the very basis of recognizing two, and only two, genders. And it dates back many centuries, proving an origin in a white male dominated patristic society, with no consideration for anyone other than the male power elite.

I am referring, of course, to the Spanish language.

Its very basis is founded on genderism. Nouns can have either a male (o) or female (a) suffix and a male (el) or female (la) prefix. These prefixes and suffixes are not based on actual gender or gender identification, but on archaic rules which have been established by the white male power elite, and enshrined in lingual norms that no one dares to challenge. The few exceptions to the rules (I recall fondly from 8th grade, “el sofa”) in no way provide for any good reason to forgive the overall concept.

For all its faults, other than in the use of pronouns, English is a gender-free language. All of the romance languages – French, Italian, and especially Spanish – are based on gender-specific nouns.

I spent many years mastering Spanish. I am proud of my abilities; I can easily converse with anyone who speaks Spanish. “Yo tengo un lapiz; el lapiz es rojo.” “Por favor, necesita un tenedor.” “Donde esta mi casa, amigo?”

And, perhaps most importantly “Donde esta el baño?”

To everyone who points fingers at America and the English language as cultural bastions of sexism, I say:

“Abierto sus ojos, m*erda para los cerebros”.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, October 21st, 2016 | Idiots Unlimited | 7 Comments

Conservative, conservation, what’s the dif, Jif?

A woman was arrested on Monday after allegedly smearing peanut butter on 30 cars parked outside what she believed was a pro-Donald Trump rally.

Christina Ferguson was arrested in Amherst Junction, Wisconsin after interrupting what turned out to be

Wait for it.

a meeting of a local environmental organisation, Tomorrow River Conservation Club.


Witnesses claimed the 32-year-old entered the meeting at 9:30pm holding a “family-size jar of low-sodium, creamy natural Jif” peanut butter, shouting about how much she hated the Republican candidate.

Good thing it was low-sodium.

Ms Ferguson was asked to leave the premises but shortly after, members went to check the car park to “make sure she wasn’t doing anything to their vehicles after leaving.”

One witness, who allegedly caught Ms Ferguson spreading peanut butter on a car, shouted at her before calling police.

TDS can be a bitch, if you’ll pardon the expression.

When officers from Portage Co. Sheriff Department questioned Ms Ferguson, she claimed she hadn’t left her apartment that night, while allegedly licking her fingers repeatedly, according to the complaint.

However, one of the meeting members identified her and Ms Ferguson admitted her involvement.

When pushed as to why she had committed the offence, Ms Ferguson talked about “how much she loved Hillary Clinton and hated Donald Trump,” the complaint says.

Apparently, Fergie really LOVES other stuff besides Hillary.

The complaint claimed Ms Ferguson smelt strongly of alcohol and her blood alcohol level was 0.218, more than twice the legal limit for driving.

And now for the punchline.

“Fortunately it wasn’t chunky peanut butter, so vehicles didn’t get scratched,” said Chief Deputy Dan Kontos.

Dodged a bullet that time.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, October 21st, 2016 | Narrow Minded Idiots | 23 Comments

In addition to the post below, here are two more reasons not to send your children to a major North American university or to immediately withdraw them if they’re already trapped in one.  A University of Toronto professor is under massive fire for speaking English correctly:

University of Toronto faculty signed a letter criticizing hate speech against their transgender and black students in light of a fellow professor’s refusal to use “genderless pronouns.”

Approximately 250 faculty members endorsed the letter, implying that Peterson’s statements are leading to a rise in threats against some of the students, reports Metro News.

“We trust that these impacts on students and others were not your intention in making these remarks,” the letter states. “However, in view of these impacts, as well as the requirements of the Ontario Human Rights Code, we urge you to stop repeating these statements.”

Psychology professor Jordan Peterson posted a two-part lecture on YouTube in which he lambasted current political correctness on campuses and criticized Bill C-16, a bill that would outlaw discrimination and harassment based on gender identity and expression.

The letter told Peterson that he must start using genderless pronouns if asked and that he needs to stop commenting publicly on the topic. 

Do you mean invented stupidity like “xe” and xir?”  How the xell do you pronounce that xrap anyway?

The letter also claimed that Peterson’s refusal to use gender neutral pronouns could be considered discrimination.

“Your statements that you will refuse to refer to transgendered persons using gender neutral pronouns if they ask you to do so are contrary to the rights of those persons to equal treatment without discrimination based on their ‘gender identity’ and gender expression,” the letter claims.

Whatevs.  In other news, the University of Florida will offer counseling to its students, available 24/7.  Guess why.

According to a blog post from administrators at the University of Florida, students offended by insensitive Halloween costumes are being provided with around-the-clock counseling services.

So if you wake up screaming at 4:00 in the morning because you saw somebody dressed as a leg of lamb, a pronoun with a definite gender, a Washington Redskins player or a Donald Trump supporter, please don’t worry.  The University will make it AWW BEDDUH.

As a community, we aspire to demonstrate integrity, respect, and compassion that strives to maintain an affirming campus climate for all members of our community. If you are troubled by an incident that does occur, please know that there are many resources available. Please take advantage of the 7 day a week presence of the U Matter, We Care program at the University of Florida by emailing Additionally, there is a 24/7 counselor in the Counseling and Wellness Center available to speak by phone…

Considering that the “careers” most college students will end up in will consist of nothing but verbal abuse (“Idiot!!  I ordered CURLY fries!!  Frickin’ MORON!!”), one would think that the U of F would want to prepare students to, well, get used to it.  But I guess not.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Thursday, October 20th, 2016 | Home of the Oppressed | 46 Comments

Recently, some pro-life students at DePaul University in Chicago, the largest Catholic university in the United States, wanted to put up some posters around campus declaring that “Unborn Lives Matter.”  The school, the largest Catholic university in the United States, refused permission:

While “Black Lives Matter” posters hang on DePaul administrative office windows, President Rev. Dennis H. Holtschneider has banned College Republicans from hanging their “Unborn Lives Matter” posters on campus, despite the school being the largest Catholic university in the United States, allegedly backing the Catholic tenet (and science) that life begins at conception. According to the university president, these three words are rooted in “bigotry” and might “provoke” other students. 

As relayed by College Republicans Vice President John Minster to The Daily Wire, the conservative group designed the “Unborn Lives Matter” poster to promote their pro-life views and their meeting times. Following standard protocol, the group then submitted their design for approval prior to hanging them up around campus. In a disturbing twist, the “controversial” pro-life posters were pushed all the way to President Holtschneider, who declared that he would prohibit them in order to shield his students from “bigotry” under the “cover of free speech.”

Holtschneider explained himself as follows.

DePaul is a private Catholic institution, and we also are part of the academy.  By our nature, we are committed to developing arguments and exploring important issues that can be steeped in controversy and, oftentimes, emotion.  Yet there will be times when some forms of speech challenge our grounding in Catholic and Vincentian values.  When that happens, you will see us refuse to allow members of our community to be subjected to bigotry that occurs under the cover of free speech.  

But we’re not censoring speech or anything.

Some people will say that DePaul’s stance unfairly silences speech to appease a crowd.  Nothing can be further from the truth.

We accept that there is a distinction between being provocative and being hurtful.  Speech whose primary purpose is to wound is inconsistent with our Vincentian and Catholic values.

You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.

Let me see if I have this straight.  Expressing support for a basic, if not core, Catholic doctrine at a Catholic university is completely unacceptable if just one person on campus declares himself/herself/zorkself “wounded” by it.  That kind of gutlessness right there is the reason why the Church has little influence on modern culture.

Yeah, I know, this kind of blithering idiocy goes on at “Catholic” colleges like Boston College, Georgetown, Marquette and St. Louis University all the time.  So I would like to propose a new acronym.

Instead of calling schools like Georgetown, St. Louis U., and others “Catholic,” which they’re clearly not (put it this way; those schools are Catholic in the same way that Shriners are Muslims), I think I’m going to begin calling them ITCT (pronounced IT-sit) schools.

In The Catholic Tradition.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Wednesday, October 19th, 2016 | Presidential Election | 47 Comments

As always, you can either follow the debate here in the comments or contribute your own two cents.  Just keep hitting Refresh or Reload.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Wednesday, October 19th, 2016 | Presidential Election | 23 Comments

SOOOOO many metaphors, so little time.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, October 18th, 2016 | Idiots Unlimited | 13 Comments


An American man took on one of the world’s hottest chilis, the notorious “ghost pepper”, in a recent eating competition but the outcome was far from a win.

After eating a hamburger laced with ghost pepper puree, the man began vomiting and retching violently. Suffering from severe abdominal pain he was admitted to hospital where doctors discovered a 2.5-centimetre hole in his oesophagus.

The chili eater underwent emergency surgery and spent 23 days in hospital.

The ghost pepper, or bhut jolokia, was considered the world’s hottest chili until 2013 when it was surpassed by the Carolina Reaper pepper.

Ghost peppers have a measured heat of more than 1,000,000 Scoville heat units (SHU) – more than twice the strength of a habanero pepper. Cayenne pepper registers at around 30,000-50,000 SHU.

UPDATE: If you’re curious, the Carolina Reaper measures as high as 2.2 million Scoville units.  Habaneros come in around 350,000, Serranos max out at 23,000 and the most a Jalapeño registers is a paltry 8,000.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Tuesday, October 18th, 2016 | LGBT+54 | 20 Comments

tmykJust because you only have sexual relations with people who were born with the same sexual organs that you have doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re gay:

Jim Downs, a writer for the popular LGBT magazine The Advocate, has declared that homosexual billionaire Peter Thiel can’t be gay because he’s a conservative; he just has gay sex.

“Peter Thiel, the Silicon Valley billionaire who made news this summer for endorsing Donald Trump at the Republican convention, is a man who has sex with other men. But is he gay?” asked Downs. “By the logic of gay liberation, Thiel is an example of a man who has sex with other men, but not a gay man. Because he does not embrace the struggle of people to embrace their distinctive identity.”

What this does to my dream of one day becoming a lesbian remains to be seen.  I’ll keep you posted.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Sunday, October 16th, 2016 | American Legends | 3 Comments

If there are sadder endings than this one, I can’t for the life of me think of what they might be.  Former New York Jets defensive end Dennis Byrd died yesterday in an automobile accident:

Dennis Byrd, a former New York Jets defensive end whose career was cut short in 1992 because of a broken neck, was killed in a head-on vehicle collision Saturday near his home in Oklahoma, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol confirmed to ESPN.

Byrd, 50, was pronounced dead at the scene due to massive injuries.

Byrd, who was driving a 2004 Hummer H2, was struck by a vehicle traveling northbound on Oklahoma Highway 88 that veered into his lane. The other car, a 2000 Ford Explorer, was driven by a 17-year-old Claremore youth.

The 6-foot-5, 270-pound Byrd, a second-round draft pick of the Jets in 1989 out of the University of Tulsa, became a legendary player in team history. He played only four years, but his inspirational story became the subject of a book and a TV movie starring actor-director Peter Berg.

On Nov. 29, 1992, Byrd slammed headfirst into the chest of teammate Scott Mersereau in a game against the Kansas City Chiefs. Byrd suffered extensive damage to his neck and spinal cord, and doctors weren’t sure if he would walk again.

After a vigorous rehabilitation over the next several months, Byrd returned to the Meadowlands for the Jets’ opening game the following season and walked — gingerly but unaided — to midfield as an honorary captain.

He never fully recovered from the injury, walking with some difficulty and going through continuous rehabilitation during the years since. But Byrd, a devout Christian, wrote a book in 1993 called “Rise and Walk: The Trial and Triumph of Dennis Byrd,” which detailed how he relied on his faith and family to push through his injury to recover and serve as an inspiration to others who went through similar situations.

During the 2010 season, Byrd sent then-Jets coach Rex Ryan the No. 90 jersey that had been torn from his torso on the field after the collision as an inspirational gift.

As a guest of the team, Byrd delivered a moving speech to the Jets at their hotel the night before a 28-21 playoff victory over the New England Patriots — during which the Jets had hung Byrd’s jersey in their locker room.

Running back LaDainian Tomlinson and safety James Ihedigbo also carried out a green and white No. 90 jersey to midfield for the coin toss before the game. Many Jets players credited Byrd’s speech for helping motivate them to the victory.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Sunday, October 16th, 2016 | A Presidency down the drain | 22 Comments

Having saved the entire planet from the effects of climate change as well as provided the world with limitless energy for all eternity, effortlessly brokered a peace in Syria and improved this country’s relationship with Russia more than any US president was ever able to do before, President Obamandias announces a comprehensive and far-reaching plan to fight Earth’s Single Greatest Enemy:

As if all the death, doom and destruction headed our way thanks to manmade climate change isn’t enough, President Obama has launched a new effort to control the latest coming apocalypse – space weather.

The issue of deadly “space weather” is so pressing and so perilous to our daily lives, in fact, that it warranted its own executive order straight from the Oval Office. Now, the president who has effectively taken a hatchet to the American energy sector, all but destroyed the fossil fuel industry and spent billions of taxpayer dollars battling “global warming” has decided to try his hand at controlling solar flares.

The president purports that “executive departments and agencies (agencies) must coordinate their efforts to prepare for the effects of space weather events” to better “prepare for space weather events to minimize the extent of economic loss and human hardship.”

How does Obamandias propose to bend the Sun to his imperial will?  Easy.  By employing the two most powerful forces in all of existence.  Bureaucracy.

And because our $20-trillion-in-debt nation has so much free cash lying around, Obama directed the creation of a Space Weather Operations, Research, and Mitigation Subcommittee to head up an action plan to deal with space weather.

And paperwork.

Multiple government agencies will now be required to “provide timely and accurate operational space weather forecasts, watches, warnings, alerts, and real-time space weather monitoring for the government, civilian, and commercial sectors,” “facilitate the protection and restoration of the reliability of the electrical power grid during a presidentially declared grid security emergency associated with a geomagnetic disturbance,” and create copious amounts of programs to study “the Sun and its interactions with Earth.”

Don’t get me wrong.  If these venues were still going concerns, Barack Obama Versus The Sun would be a hella cool drive-in movie.  Otherwise, Obamandias’ effort to order the Sun around is even more worthless than all of his other executive orders have been.

Hell, dude, Canute just demanded that the tides stay out.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, October 14th, 2016 | Presidential Election | 34 Comments

This is quite possibly the single best explanation for Donald Trump that I’ve seen.  Here’s a little taste:

“Nothing that happens outside the city matters!” they say at their cocktail parties, blissfully unaware of where their food is grown. Hey, remember when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans? Kind of weird that a big hurricane hundreds of miles across managed to snipe one specific city and avoid everything else. To watch the news (or the multiple movies and TV shows about it), you’d barely hear about how the storm utterly steamrolled rural Mississippi, killing 238 people and doing an astounding $125 billion in damage.

Here’s another.

Blacks riot, Muslims set bombs, gays spread AIDS, Mexican cartels behead children, atheists tear down Christmas trees. Meanwhile, those liberal Lena Dunhams in their $5,000-a-month apartments sip wine and say, “But those white Christians are the real problem!” Terror victims scream in the street next to their own severed limbs, and the response from the elites is to cry about how men should be allowed to use women’s restrooms and how it’s cruel to keep chickens in cages.

Here’s a third.

The rural folk with the Trump signs in their yards say their way of life is dying, and you smirk and say what they really mean is that blacks and gays are finally getting equal rights and they hate it. But I’m telling you, they say their way of life is dying because their way of life is dying. It’s not their imagination. No movie about the future portrays it as being full of traditional families, hunters, and coal mines. Well, except for Hunger Games, and that was depicted as an apocalypse.

The language of this piece is raw but read the whole thing anyway.  Because I don’t think you’ll come across a better explanation of this country’s current political situation.

Or why it probably won’t matter much who wins in November.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, October 14th, 2016 | Global Issues | 13 Comments

For all practical purposes, Undoubtedly NazisTM just voted an entire religion out of existence:

The Israeli government reacted angrily on Thursday to a United Nations body’s resolutions that failed to mention any link between Judaism and its holy sites in Jerusalem.

The United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) renewed the resolutions that criticized Israel for what it says are its policies that restrict Muslim access to a site considered holy by both Jews and Muslims in Jerusalem’s Old City.

But a draft of the latest version of the resolution, posted on UNESCO’s website and dated Oct 12, showed the site repeatedly described only by its Muslim names – something Israel says amounts to a denial of its Jewish history.

“The theatre of the absurd at UNESCO continues and today the organization adopted another delusional decision which says that the people of Israel have no connection to the Temple Mount and the Western Wall,” Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said in Jerusalem.

The Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest site, is a remnant of the Second Jewish Temple that was built by Herod the Great and destroyed by the Roman Empire nearly 2,000 years ago.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Friday, October 14th, 2016 | Neat Stuff and Ideas | 10 Comments

Introducing the strangest coin ever minted.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Thursday, October 13th, 2016 | Idiots Unlimited | 20 Comments

This year’s winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature is Bob Dylan.


Johnny’s in the basement
Mixing up the medicine
I’m on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The man in the trench coat
Badge out, laid off
Says he’s got a bad cough
Wants to get it paid off
Look out kid
It’s somethin’ you did
God knows when
But you’re doing it again
You better duck down the alleyway
Lookin’ for a new friend
The man in the coonskin cap
In the big pen
Wants eleven dollar bills
But you only got ten

In literary terms, of course, “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” Dylan’s magnum opus, cannot even be remotely compared with Captain Beefheart’s magisterial “Old Fart at Play.”

Pappy with the Khaki sweatband
Bowed goat potbellied barnyard that only he noticed
The old fart was smart
The old gold cloth madonna
Dancin’ t’ the fiddle ‘n saw
He ran down behind the knoll
‘n slipped on his wooden fishhead
The mouth worked ‘n snapped all the bees
Back t’ the bungalow

Momma was flatten’n lard
With her red enamel rollin’ pin
When the fishhead broke the window
Rubber eye erect ‘n precisely detailed
Airholes from which breath should come
Is now closely fit
With the chatter of the old fart inside 

Anything to work in Trout Mask Replica, the greatest rock album of all time, huh, Johnson?  Yeah, pretty much.


Posted by Christopher Johnson | Wednesday, October 12th, 2016 | Politics | 22 Comments

Bruce Walker thinks that it may be too late to salvage the wreckage of the Federal Bureau of Investigation:

James Comey, the crooked political operative running the FBI for the left, has clearly lied to Congress, lied to the American people, and fixed the criminal investigative process to protect Hillary Clinton and her creepy aides from justice.  Conservatives have gotten used to the Department of Justice under Obama as simply another organ of leftist activism.  Eric Holder and Loretta Lynch have both been abominable heads of the Department of Justice, and several federal judges have indicated as much.

Using federal agencies as tools of political oppression or leftist activism is the best case yet [for] simply abolishing the Department of Justice completely and devolving the enforcement of all federal laws to the fifty state attorney general offices. 

In the same vein, one might think we should leave the FBI only for the purpose of supporting state law enforcement efforts with technical support, but that was before the incredible stream of new revelations, never volunteered by Comey and discovered only by insistent probing, that show intimate collusion between the Clinton campaign and the FBI, with sleazy actions so blatantly bad that no serious person can doubt the wrongness of it all.

Physical evidence is destroyed before anyone can see it, though subpoenaed by Congress and possibly containing classified information.  Computer systems with classified documents scrubbed clean by private vendors before federal officers know what has been scrubbed.  Suspects sit in on the questioning of other suspects, and suspects are given immunity, it appears, for no good reasons at all.

If this presidential election is fixed by an utterly politicized FBI, then the reputation of that agency will never recover.  No serious American, in that case, should ever believe anything the FBI tells us about anything at all.  If we cannot trust the FBI when powerful politicians are being investigated, then when can we trust it?  If the FBI can be influenced by politicians, then it can be influenced by drug lords or crime bosses or crooked billionaires.

The FBI has one chance to redeem itself.  And only one.

There is only one thing, at this point, that can rehabilitate the reputation of a once honorable organization now up to its neck in the muck of influenced investigations and tampered justice.  A number of current FBI agents must publicly condemn Director Comey and deplore the deeply disturbing, very unusual actions taken by the FBI in these investigations.  This may cost the agents involved their careers, but agents who care about the agency more than their careers will take that risk.  These agents ought to explain exactly how this investigation was utterly wrong and how it deviated from normal practices.

Director Comey compelled twenty-five agents to sign nondisclosure agreements, but these agreements cannot prevent these agents from publicly criticizing how politicized the investigation appeared to them.  In fact, this might even be more telling: “We have been ordered by Director Comey to sign nondisclosure agreements, so until he releases us from those agreements, we cannot provide details, but we can say this:  the whole thing stinks from top to bottom.  Everything about this investigation fails the smell test.  If Director Comey will release us from the nondisclosure agreements, we will be happy to say more.” 

Something like that may be starting to happen.

The decision to let Hillary Clinton off the hook for mishandling classified information has roiled the FBI and Department of Justice, with one person closely involved in the year-long probe telling that career agents and attorneys on the case unanimously believed the Democratic presidential nominee should have been charged.

The source, who spoke to on the condition of anonymity, said FBI Director James Comey’s dramatic July 5 announcement that he would not recommend to the Attorney General’s office that the former secretary of state be charged left members of the investigative team dismayed and disgusted. More than 100 FBI agents and analysts worked around the clock with six attorneys from the DOJ’s National Security Division, Counter Espionage Section, to investigate the case.

“No trial level attorney agreed, no agent working the case agreed, with the decision not to prosecute — it was a top-down decision,” said the source, whose identity and role in the case has been verified by

A high-ranking FBI official told Fox News that while it might not have been a unanimous decision, “It was unanimous that we all wanted her [Clinton’s] security clearance yanked.”

“It is safe to say the vast majority felt she should be prosecuted,” the senior FBI official told Fox News. “We were floored while listening to the FBI briefing because Comey laid it all out, and then said ‘but we are doing nothing,’ which made no sense to us.”

If all these disgusted agents really want to make a difference, they don’t have much time; their window of opportunity is small and shrinks daily.  So here’s another reason to vote for Donald Trump.  If Hillary wins, the FBI might as well change its name to KGB (America).

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